


repeatedly Raped

by Rash_jaya



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, sga-kinkmeme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:55:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 30
Words: 53,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rash_jaya/pseuds/Rash_jaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SGA- kinkmeme challenge was give and this is my take on that...  what would be really creepy and delicious would be to write from the rapist's POV  John is repeatedly raped.</p><p>What must a Military Sub Major Sheppard go through when Colonel Summer his only protraction against unwanted attention from other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. intor

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [admiralandrea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/admiralandrea/pseuds/admiralandrea). Log in to view. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I highly Recommended that you read both the stories that lead me to answer SGA- kinimeme challenge, what would be really creepy and delicious would be to write from the rapist's POV. of this story  
> http://sga-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/5311.html?thread=845503#t845503  
> and the Story that give birth to idea to open season Sub Major John Sheppard....  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/289580

Afghanistan Eggers base John Sheppard was waiting in cuffs in a cell as he been charged with disobeying an order. The PM take him to air strip where an airbus would transport him to DC where he would wait for the outcome of the court-martial.

Disobeying the order Sheppard fly out on an unsanctioned rescue mission. The op was to save the life of Captain Lyle Holland, whose Apache helicopter had crashed in Afghanistan. The mission, however, was unsuccessful and Holland died of his injuries. That was how he found himself in the cell, the thing is if he had to do it all again there is not anything he would change. He would try and save Captain Holland again only this time he would not fail to save dominant.

Both Lieutenant Colonel Mark Forster MD the base doctor in charge and Colonel Duke Hunnicutt the man in charge of disciplinary action on both Submissive and Dominant officers testified which lead to a IOA investigation of Lieutenant Colonel Martin Smalls who was every officer that had flied charge against Major Sheppard. The investigation saw to Lieutenant Colonel Martin Smalls been charged with reckless endangerment of officers.

The court-martial didn't go as far as dishonorably discharging him as it wasn't a direct order he disobeyed and Sheppard was cleared of Holland's death however he was found guilty of disobey a superior officer which got him a black mark of his military record. That was where it would have ended but feeling guilty of failing his friend and the only caring dominant on base he files for retraining a program would change his hold world. He would be taken to CIA black site where he would be broken down and rebuild from ground up as a military Submissive, when it was all said and done he would be new man, a man John has always been yet feared he don't have the best track record of trusting his Dominant both in his personal life and in the military.

Sheppard was assigned to McMurdo Air Force Base in Antarctica. McMurdo Air Force Base is the largest research station in Antarctica. It is located on the tip of Ross Island, on the edge of the Ross Ice Shelf. He trained to become a pilot for a large variety of aircraft, such as the Apache Helicopter, Blackhawk, and Cobra helicopters, as well as a V-22 Osprey and a F-16 Fighting Falcon fighter, indicating that he graduated from Test Pilot School. All that time, all that training now he was suck with the tasked with flying Brigadier General Jack O'Neill from McMurdo to the Ancient outpost nearby.

he inadvertently discovered that he not only had the ATA gene (the genetic factor necessary to activate Ancient technology), but that he was naturally proficient at using it. After some doubts, he finally joined the expedition to Atlantis, that was when Colonel Marshall Summer stated that it would be in order for him to participate in a trust exercise with myself and some of Colonel's Marines. when John arrived at the address in Colorado Springs John did not expect what had happened there.

The Colonel Summer had access to his full file and he understood John for the first time in long time his Commander Officer understood him. when Colonel Summer had him take all the marines one after one and when Sumner reappeared, John almost balked at what he was holding. He froze in place, not sure how he felt about the sight of the catheter. It meant total surrender to Sumner, which was something John craved with a fierce desire. But that total surrender meant John had no control at all, even over his basic bodily functions and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. To his credit, Sumner just stood there, looking at John, waiting for his response. Finally, with a gasp, John nodded acquiescence, relaxing into the bed once more.

Warmed by the knowledge of belonging and having someone take charge of him, which he hadn’t had in such a long time. Curling up as best he could with his wrists cuffed and chained, he closed his eyes with the knowledge of the panic button was with reach and allowed sleep to creep up on him, not hearing Sumner clear away the last of the items from the nightstand or leave the room.


	2. fantasy

I could believe my eyes I blink to make sure what I was see was real there stood Major John Sheppard with a collar and leash that was firmly held by Colonel Summer the military commander of this the expedition to Atlantis. I could not take me eyes of his ass I knew that tie little hold that was hidden behind his BUDs pants.  

I still remember the first time I lay my eyes on him, John Sheppard first day of first grade, he was one of this over achievers good at everything he did from sports to studies anything he did he did well. I was the dark and he was light. He was everything good in this world and I was all kinds of wrong. You get the picture; we never mix in the same crowds in school or social. He came from a rich family and I was come from a crime family. My father was the mob boss of Chicago. John family had a house in every state and he always said that he favourite was the holiday beach house in Hawaii. We were from two every different worlds.

The thing is, we got older from boys to teens and I start to see him as more than just the little boy that did no wrong. Somewhere in my early to mid-teens I start to notice how nice he looked, soon my favourite class was gym because I got to see him naked after class has he showered.

He was beautiful, creamy sink, blue eyes and tie little hole that I was hard for. While I watch him in the next stall I close my eyes and I would imagen what I could do to him, I would take him right there in that gym shower push his face in to the tiles, pining his body up against the wet cold tiles with mine and one hand that was holding a cloth to covering his mouth so he could not scream for help. He would try to struggle try to get free and I push my hips in angle so that the friction would make me become impatient for his hole. My hard cock was push up again his butt cheeks and all I want to do was fuck him hard and fast.

My dick is so hard with my free hand I guide it into the tie virgin hole raw, without any parp work I push inside. He would scream in the now wet cloth which is half stuff in his mouth. When I push inside him, he screams and cry out in pain. My cock head push in to the tie hole breaching the entry and I let him struggle it only made me want him more. I whisper in his ear, “I am going to fuck you so hard and fast you will see stars.” My voice low ghostly like he struggles more.

I ram my full length inside in one quick move, the feeling of be inside that hot little hole make me just want him more. I pulling almost all the way out and ram in again. In and out faster and harder with each ram, I keep going deeper and deeper I could feel the blood that was now lubricating his hole has I fuck it hard. The rhythm picks up more speed, I am pushing in and out a rapid, senseless motion. His gluteus muscles tie around my hard cock make me dive in to him with endless need.  I can feel his arousal coming to head from his toe it builds up with a few fast and furious push in I could feel his gluteus ties around me and his head push against my shoulder has his seed shot out of John all over the tile wall. It pushes me over the edged filling his hole with my seed push him back against the cool tile I am panting. With the few minute I withdrawal and I hear him hiss in pain John fall to shower floor like boneless being, I clean myself up and leave him there crying for someone else to find and cold water from the running shower will wash away any evidence I left behind.

My eyes slowly open there no John but I have cum all over the shower wall. I turn my head to see if the little white ass was still there in the stall but John was not there. I smile think to myself one day, one day that white tie ass will be mine.

I shake my head bring myself back to present day, I knew that little white hole was meant to be fucked now I find myself going in to unknown and I am not a long White little ass will be there with me. The thought of Sheppard wearing someone else collar piss me off but the colonel could not always be there to safe guard him all the time. I would find way to have that little white hole under the dumb jarheads every nose. I licked me lips think about so many different ways I could take that ass of his I am getting hard think about it I dart my eye way from John well around shape love plums. It not easy to keep my mind from wondering back to John’s flawless backside.


	3. arrival

An assembly of volunteer representatives from many different countries joins the Atlantis expedition under the military command of Colonel Marshall Summer of the United States Marine Corps. Shortly after crossing, they the city come to life has groups of people start to explore the city only to find that Atlantis was submerged under the ocean just not on earth has many believed for centuries.

Doctor Carson Beckett point out “history seem correct Atlantis is indeed under water just not earth Ancient Greece must had pick up the story from the Ancients that settle on earth after they left Atlantis”

However, it was Doctor Rodney McKay determines that because of the immediate depletion of power due to their arrival, the shield protecting the city from the ocean water, will imminently collapse.

Major Sheppard “we under water few thousand gallons of water, umm” his face change he could feel a tingle just under his sink when he touched the window of the room and soft humming in his head.

Colonel asked “what is Major?”

Major Sheppard “I don’t know, Doctor Beckett, Sargent Markham do you feel a light tingle just under sink and hear a soft humming in your mind or is it just me”

Bothe Sargent and Doc confirmed that they to feel it too and when Wire, Colonel and McKay told them that they do not hear or feel anything Sheppard said “I think it the city try to communicate only I don’t understand what it tries to tell us, I sure if we can save the city if we can work out what it tries to say only got about hour before we have to evacuate the city”

Doctor Wire asked “do we have enough energy to return to earth?”

Without enough energy to return to Earth, a squadron including Colonel Sumner and Lieutenant Aiden Ford travels to a random planet for help. Colonel Summer newly collared Major John Sheppard was left in the city to help impending doom under Sargent Markham safety.  

They travel to local villagers, led by Teyla Emmagan, are permitted to breed for generations before being systematically harvested by the Wraith. They assist the strangers, but as Colonel Sumner arranges an exploration of a vacant Ancient settlement until they find more suitable that would house the hole settlement. While the talks were going Lieutenant Ford was shown the old wall drawings of what happen to the Athosian City once a proud city full of life was now anything but an empty shell.

However, when Colonel call for Major to join them has he knew that negotiating deals was one of John skills. The Major had found out there was a failsafe in place and he leaves Doctor McKay to trigger it before he joins the Colonel on Athos. They did not get far when three Wraith darts travel through the Athos, only to begin herding the planet’s human inhabitants.

The Wraith Darts head toward the village and start attacking. The military personnel start attacking the darts, but are eventually out manoeuvred by the Wraith. Sheppard and the Athosian villagers come through the Stargate. Just as the shield fails, rather than taking on water, the city rises to the ocean surface McKay was able to trigger the failsafe.

After tracking where the Wraith hideout is, Rodney McKay reveals to Sheppard that they can use one of the Ancient spaceships, which was named "Puddle Jumper" by Sheppard, to get there. In the meantime, Carson Beckett shows Weir what he found out about the Wraith DNA.

Weir authorizes the rescue mission led by Sheppard, and he assembles a team together with Aiden Ford, to go through the Stargate. After leaving the Space-gate a Stargate placed in Orbit around a planet, they eventually find the location of the Wraith base on the planet below.

Meanwhile Marshall Summer is confronted by a Wraith Queen known as the Keeper of sleeping. She tells him about their race and then uses her telepathic abilities to find out about earth which she hopes to use as a new feeding ground for the Wraith.

In the meantime, Sheppard and Ford infiltrate the Wraith base and trying to locate the survivors from the Wraith attack. They split up, and Sheppard finds Sumner and the Keeper. The Keeper begins to feed on Sumner, and Sheppard shoots him through the queen hand, after witnessing his suffering. After Ford locates and saves the others survivors, he then saves Sheppard from being fed upon by the Keeper. Sheppard kills her, but she tells him with her dying breath, that he has awoken them all. Sheppard and Ford witness the Wraith awakening from their hibernation pods, and decide to leave.

The remaining soldiers, protecting the Jumper outside the base are attacked by Wraith Darts. The team is able to escape the planet with the Jumper, but is held up by Wraith Darts blockading the Space-gate. Sheppard eventually manages to manoeuvre the Jumper to the gate. Back in Atlantis Sheppard, Ford and Weir talk about the situation with the Wraith and Sheppard apologizes because he hasn't made them much friends. However, Weir then shows him the Athosians and Teyla Emmagan agrees with her, since they will help them find more friends. While the expedition celebrates their arrival in Atlantis.

Weir asks Sheppard which members he wants in his team, since they have to go out there to fight the Wraith before Sheppard could answer he go into withdrawal and back out, poor Sheppard had lost his dominant again. While Sheppard lay in medical bay under careful eyes of Beckett and his staff he has no idea that one of them was every much obsessed with him in sexual way.


	4. 1st time

The last two weeks I been give the task of take care of unconscious Major Sheppard. They say that coma patients can hear what is going on round them. Been Doctor I tell that are case where Patients have stated of thing that was said during life save heart transplant while they were fully under.

Take everything need to give my hot ass patients a sponge bath I head over to bed three where Major Sheppard ass had been parked for the last two weeks. It was the closed bed in the medical bay to Doctor Beckett office and he in there right now watching me like hawk. I try to ignore the eyes that burn in the back of my head keep my head down and don’t make any waves.

“well Major, it that time again I know what you would say if you were weak, you perfectly good works arms and leg that for you could walk down the shower and take wash unaided but this not like the time you got you stuffing knocked out of when that 6’4 blocker from Kio high, tackle you in the open around” I tell him has I undress him completely.

I was so lost in my task that I did not even notice that Doctor Beckett and Lieutenant Bates were both listen to what I was tell Sheppard.

Bates asked “you know Sheppard?”

“know is strong word Lieutenant, Major and I want to the same school, he was the quarterback and math Geek, didn’t really fit in anywhere outside game and training he did not really hang out with the team. He had one friend Shane Wild they were in Math-league together, unfortunately he was killed day before the state championship game one year, Major was in the car when he happened his then girlfriend Nancy was behind the wheel she was drunk. Poor Major never played other game again after that but he even missed a game either, he was every game the following season help coach where he would” I tell them has I go about give John his bath.

Beckett said “I am guess that you did not like this Nancy, forgive me it just we don’t know much about the Major, he reaction to death of the Colonel tell me there is same kind of trauma but without access to his full file we can help him”

I look down at the sleeping man on the bed I would like to keep like this but I would enjoy his body if he would give up little straggle when I take him for the first time.

I tell them “I don’t know Doctor Beckett I would feel a lot better if I had his consent. But I tell this mush, think what you think you know and times by ten fall. The Major as been to hell and back even before he joined the military. Other than that all I say for now is that be kind he would do anything to save everyone here including give up his life without a second thought if it meant save everyone and this city”

Beckett said “I understand thank you sharing that much with us I think I know how to help the Major”

I finish my task and dress the Major pull the blanket up to cover his body. Turn to my two observes and tell them “excuse me, I have paperwork that need my attraction”

They nodded their heads and I walk way leave them in the room with the unconscious Major sleep in the bed. It took four more days for the Major to come round and I knew the Major well, it was just matter of time before he be requesting to spend his rest and recover in his quarters, he has never one to stay in one place to long, always on the move for one reason or other.

I tell Beckett “you may has well give in Doctor he never been a good listener when come to medical advice.”

I made my way in to the bed room stood by the bedside and stood over him, he wanted to come back to his quarters to be left long Beckett only agreed when said that I check on him throughout the night. I my own quarters were just down the hall from Major’s room. He lay on his back he passed out not minute ago from painkiller I shot him up with. I admired the weak looking man so different to the one that ran around try to save the city weeks ago. I searched my mind for snatches of conversations from our childhood, Johnny, yes, that's what that Bitch, Nancy had called him when we were in school. He had on a red silk PJ and Frank, I tell myself, he is beautiful, his always be Beautiful but the years have been good to him, look younger then his age he always has look younger then his age get that from his mother.

Briefly, I wondered how old he was now, his not even in his 30’s yet but close to it and then I was leaned over him brushing the hair out of John's face. He was so vulnerable like this, which I knew too well that he would hate the idea of be vulnerable. He didn't move when I had touched him. I realized he was completely unconscious from medication I have given him when he first arrives back here to his room earlier. I reached out my hand trembling, grabbing his buttons and undoing red silk PJ. I licked my dry lips and shifted uncomfortably. I dragged push his PJ down a little and realized he wasn't warning any underwear. My breath hitched in my throat and then I hummed in appreciation.

I pulled his PJ down his hips to mid-thigh. His limp cock laid nestled in a thatch of dark brown curls. Even soft it was kind of impressive and I wished I would get to see it hard but not while he was like this. I shrugged my shoulders and reached out to caress it. I then tugged his PJ completely off and I flipped him face down to admire the soft fleshy round globes of his ass. I reached out my hands trembling as I kneaded them. They were so soft and pliant under my hands. I had boys that look like John. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, creamy sink but never had him before only in my wild dreams. The thought that I shouldn't passed briefly through my mind but I pushed it aside.

I pulled his ass cheeks apart revealing his hot pucker to me. My dick was starting to ache with need the more I touched this beautiful man. I wanted John and I wasn't going to let anything stop me, I thought. I knew I should find some lubrication or at least use spit but I also knew I should at least prepare him little. I didn't bother instead I just pulled my jeans open and started stroking my cock until it was fully hard and leaking. Place a condom covered dick take tube of cream out of my little bag I squeezed the hole tube in to his opening. Placing my hard cock against his opening, I rammed it home in one thrust. It kind of hurt me a little. It didn't hurt for long though as I had obviously fuck him. The cream gave me some lubrication. He whimpered and shifted but then went still again.

I started to thrust in him faster and it was clear he had not been fuck well in little over month but still he was tight around me and I loved the feeling of him on my cock. I pounded into him relentlessly and it felt so good no matter how wrong it was. It didn't take to me long to cum. I moaned and John out like light.

I wished I could stay in him forever but I didn't know how long he would stay passed out and prone like this. I briefly placed a kiss on his hip bone before I place his PJ back on him. I knew I might not get another chance to touch him any time soon.

I carefully tucked myself back into my jeans, zipping them. I caress his ass cheeks smiling. Then I leave him to sleep and I walk out of the room smiling to myself burning the image of him like this in my head to jack off to later. It was better that anything fantasy I had of John over the years. The door behind me closed and walk away known this just the first of many time I would fuck his white little ass only next I would low the dose so he would be sim-conscious and yet out of it at the sometime. John Sheppard was finally mine.


	5. Franks's teacher

Frank lay out in his bed he could still feel naked both his hand under his head, his closed he could feel the inside walls of Sheppard backside. I could feel the smile on my face, been inside John for the first time was better that skinny white ass boy I took down to my dad’s old associate’s warehouse 500km outside the city, it was where the killings took place.

My father doesn’t know that I know about the wittiness that were killed at that old warehouse over twenty-three years ago when I was only six years old at the time. Good old Mike my fathers most trusted man, he was always there in the background in the shadows watching over me when I was a kid.

Mike had taken me down there when I was nine tell me that I was going to be a man need know what it took to be a man. I watched Mike take a skinny white woman out of the van. She was a homeless, Mike said that no one would miss the her.

For the hold weekend Mike and I stay there at the warehouse. He tutors me in how to take Pleasure from someone else pain. That man was an animal, he was turn on by the pain he inflicted on that helpless homeless woman. He had picked her up Friday afternoon outside a free medical clinic in Boston.

He let his thought run over the memory of that night. She was chains scratch by her wrists, unconscious for the most of the ride but then I hear movement of the chain and see her stretch her neck to try and see who the driver side of the van through the merrier. she looks out the window near to her but all she would see own was trees, it all I see for last two mills. "Well I'm glad your awake." Mike tell her.

She whimpers at the sound of his voice. "We're almost there you just hold on" and I don’t blame her, Mike can be a scary man sometime even I was scared of him more than I was scared of my father. We pulled into the driveway of an old warehouse. "We're here." He opens his door, and slides open the side door near closed to her, and yanks her out, unlocking the chains. He picks her up slips through a little doorway near the entry. I follow him not known what he was going to do to her.

It was very dim, but I could see blood, bones, and a mattress. He shoves her down onto the mattress and ties her onto it. He pointed to a little chair for me to sit before tell her "Now you're gonna do everything I say." He says unbuckling his belt. He dropped his pants, and pulled off his briefs, exposing his cock. It was large, and had small scars on it. Too bad Mike like women, I could like to suck his cock. He ripped of his shirt and got on top of her.

"Now for her." He says unbuttoning her blouse. She struggles for a moment before he grabs at her neck. "Stop moving." He says harshly tearing off her shirt. Then he unclips her bra, exposing her breasts. "Mmmm" he ummed He stares at them.

He slowly unzips her skirt and pulls it off her legs, leaving only her underwear. He slides his hand down the front of her panties and feels her vagina. "Aw yeah." comes out of his lips, then taking the panties off as well. "Now for the fun." He says opening her legs. She let out a shriek. "Aw, come on babe, this will be fun." He assures forcefully shoving his penis inside her. Her moan loudly, I could see that she was in pain and size of his penis will there is reason why people say black men have big dicks. Mike cock was the biggest I seen, long and think.

He lets out a groan as if releasing himself. He starts thrusting her hard, I see that he was push his cock in to her harder, and harder with each push, he let out a sweet moan. He starts to suck on her breasts as he pushes rougher. She starts to cry begging him to stop. Then he lifts up her pelvis and starts squeezing her butt cheeks. "Oh sweet Jesus!" He exclaims. Each time he pulls out I can see that he was getting hard. "Oh here comes the boner." He says. She moans as his penis enlarges. "Yeah!" He shouts thrusting so hard it felt like he was breaking something.  Her start sobbing as he bites on her nipples. After a long time of agony, he comes and pulls out of her.

"Let's see ass, or mouth?" He contemplates. "Mouth." He says. Her close her mouth tightly hearing that. "No, no, no." He says as he pries her lips apart. He forces his dick in her mouth, I lick my lips, I wanted that to be me, I was getting hard watch Mike cock in her mouth. "Lick it." He commands. Her face said it all she was disgusted "I said lick it!" He puts it in more threateningly. Her slowly rub her tongue up against his flesh. "That's a good girl." He pets her head as if she was his pet, his play thing. I look at him in that moment she was his play thing, his pet.

"Now, I'm gonna put it in all the way, and you gonna suck on it." He says pushing it in all the way. Almost all the way down her throat she starts to choke. "Aw, you feel this, yeah? Yeah?" He says watching her in pleasure. I wished it was me give him that pleasure. He gives a hardy laugh before pushing harder. About to lose consciousness I watched her bite down on it dislodging it.

Mike seen to enjoy the pain she gives him and he say "Oh, feisty." He says. "Well, I guess it's ass time." He says flipping her around, twisting her arms. She shouts at the sudden pain of her limbs. It now easy for me to replace the woman with a boy.

"I haven't done anything yet." He says slowly wiggling it in. She grabs the bra that is on the floor next to her, squeezing it. He starts pulling it in and out, before starting to push in, deeper and deeper. Soon he is just thrusting her, fuck her ass. She cries. Then he starts making a more digging movement, cracking a bone. "There we go! The bone cruncher." He says. The harder he does it, the more it cracks. Sometime later he finally stopped, leaving her soaked in blood. "I'll be back in a minute." He says walking away but not before he nodded to me and smiled down at his victim.

Still on her stomach she cannot see me. I walk over, take my hand I run over her ass, when she tries to take he look at me I pushed her head down. I do not want to see her top half of her body. I slip two fighters in to her well worked ass, slowly fighter fuck her coating my fingers in Mike’s seed that is mixed with her blood. With my other hand I jack off, it does take me long to cum in to my hand. I take my fighters out and suck them tasting Mike seed but I could taste iron and her blood too. Both of us could hear a scratching noises approach her. And so I make myself back to my chair.

"I'm back." He says flipping her around. In his hand he holds a knife. "Any last words?" He asks. Her cry and say, "P-P-Please,-" Before he shoves the knife into her vagina. Her freeze at the stab. He starts twisting, as blood gushes out. "It's a shame, you were a great woman." He says pushing it in harder. Slowly losing consciousness she starts coughing up blood. He laughs. "Almost done." He says, pulling it out and then jabbing it back in harder than ever. "Now stay awake, there is one more thing I want you to feel." He commands, before flipping her back around and shoving it in her butt crack. No longer able to handle it her cough out blood one more ounce blood before dropping, she leaves this life and was dead.

That weekend with Mike was first of many kills, there been a lot more women for Mike and boys for me. Mike schooled me in how to give pain, take pleasure, kill and how to ever leave any advice behind. His background in criminal science was good for that. Everybody was burn until there was nothing but ash after we were done with them.   


	6. Like been hurt

Kavanagh stared  at  Major's  back, afraid to look either up or down.  They  have  been  on  this  plant  for  over a  hour,  he  was  with  John  tea m  for this  mission  because  Rodney  was  helping  repair  the  city  defendsystem. He worked hard at not looking  a t  the Major. So when Tyler stopped next to him, he was startled. "Tyler?"

"You know where Sheppard got that bruise?" Tlyer was grinning as she gestured towards John's neck. "Looks like a bite mark."

Unable to stop himself, Kavanagh looked up at the bruise right under John's hairline, dark and livid. He swallowed hard. "No. No idea."  He  lied  hopefully  he  was  convincing.

"Hmmm," Tlyer said, pace speeding up so that she was next to John. Kavanagh  couldn't hear what he said, but it didn't matter because now that he'd looked, he couldn't top looking. He spared a moment to be grateful that the heavy dark material of his pants would hide the incipient erection.

By the time they finally returned to the stargate, having found nothing, he was frustrated and horny in ways that he hadn't been in years. Debriefing was thankfully short, as they hadn't found anything worth reporting, and then they were dismissed. As it was dinnertime in Atlantis, no one looked at him twice as he followed John to the mess, but halfway there, he looked around and realized that they were alone in the hallway.

Grabbing John by the hand, he dragged him into a nearby storage closet. "What the - " John said, only to stop when Kavanagh  pressed his thumb into the bruise. Slowly, John dropped to his knees, and by the time he was on the floor he was panting harshly.  Not  many  knew  just  how  turn  on  John  was  by  pain  he  receive d  thanks to  his long  hellish  relationship  with  his  ex  that queen Nancy.  Doctor  Frank  Eva  Robinson  should  keep  his  thoughtsclean  when he was so close to a mind  reading Dom/Beta like  Kavanagh.

"I'm not really hungry," Kavanagh  said. "Are you?" 

John shook his head no. "Let's say we go to my quarters instead."

John whimpered, leaning his forehead against Kavanagh's thigh. Kavanagh  thought about just getting off right here, right now, but there was a bed a hop away, and that would be so much more comfortable. So he reached down and pulled John to his feet. Checking his life-signs detector, he made sure that the hall was still empty, and then opened the door.

The two of them kept a carefully measured space between them all the way to Kavanagh's quarters. Kavanagh  was grateful, because if John had gotten too close, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from throwing John down in the hallway.

As soon as the door slid shut behind them, he grabbed John by his jacket and yanked him in for a deep kiss. It was dirty in all the best ways, with Kavanagh  biting and licking at John's mouth, swallowing all of the sweet sounds he made.

When they finally broke apart, panting, Kavanagh  said, "Strip. I want you naked and on your knees on the bed." John nodded, hands already busy taking off his jacket. He bent over to unlace his boots, and Kavanagh  circled around him to look at his ass. He couldn't see John's face, but he knew that he was grinning from the way he shimmied his hips.

Kavanagh  chuckled and slapped John's ass. "Stop that. Focus,  Johnny."  Reinforcing  his  former  training by  suing  the  pet  name  his  ex  wife  use d  while  she  played  with  him  keep  John  in  that  frame  of  mind.

He heard John bite back a moan, and then he stood up, stepping out of his boots, hands already busy at his fly. Pushing his pants past his narrow hips, John didn't hesitate, climbing up on the bed and getting on all fours. His cock was already hard, slapping wetly against his belly, and Kavanagh  had to take a deep breath. When he did, he could smell John, his sweat and his arousal, and it made him want it even more.

Leaning over John's back, he nipped at the bruise, making John moan incoherently. "Want me to fuck you?"

"Oh, please, Kavanagh ," John begged, settling his weight more firmly and spreading his legs wider.

"I'm not going to prep you. I'm not even going to strip. I'm just going to pull my cock out of my pants," he suited actions to words, "and then I'm going to push into you. Is that what you want?"

While he waited for John's answer, he grabbed the lube off the nightstand, pouring some directly on his dick in the hope that the cool gel would push him back from the edge. "Yeah," John groaned, long and low.

Kavanagh  shifted around till he was kneeling between John's spread legs, the head of his cock snug up against his hole. Spreading John's ass with his hands, he said, "Push back,  Johnny. Take me in."

John groaned as his hips moved, pushing back into Kavanagh . Kavanagh  watched as his hole opened for his cock, the head popping through the tight ring of muscle. John stopped, clearly adjusting to the stretch, and Kavanagh  said, "My turn."

He pushed in fast and hard, till his balls slapped against John's ass, pulling a loud cry from John. John's arms collapsed, and he went face-first into the bed, which would have made Kavanagh laugh if he wasn't so turned on he could barely think. Instead, he started to fuck John with deep, even strokes. One of his hands was locked on John's hip, while the other thumb pressed hard on the bruise.

Whimpering, John's hips started to move in counterpoint. Since his face was buried in the pillow, Kavanagh  couldn't really understand what he was saying, but the tone was all good. "God, you feel so hot inside,  Johnny," he said. "So tight, holding me so perfect."

He wanted to bite John again, feel his skin between his teeth, but he couldn't reach in this position. Pausing in his strokes, he wrapped his hands around John's chest and pulled until he was kneeling in Kavanagh 's lap, Kavanagh 's cock so deep inside him that Kavanagh could feel his heartbeat.

With no warning, he bit down in the same spot, hard. Hard enough to bruise all over again. John flailed for a second, crying out. "Oh, jesus"  Releasing the bit of skin, Kavanagh  said, "Ride me hard and jerk yourself off. I want to feel you come."

John obeyed, his hips moving, his shoulder shaking as he pushed himself closer to orgasm. Kavanagh  focused on John for the moment, not wanting to come just yet. Instead, he listened to John's breathing, and when it started to hitch, he bit down again, this time drawing blood.

With a loud cry, John came, clenching hard around the cock buried deep in his ass. It was all Kavanagh  could do not to come as he was squeezed so perfectly. He held back as John twitched through the aftershocks, and then pushed gently on his shoulder until he went forward.

He didn't even try to break his fall, collapsing onto his face, and only Kavanagh 's knees inside John's keeping his ass up. Kavanagh didn't care, though. He needed to come, and badly, and he started to fuck with that in mind. 

Every stroke pushed him closer and closer, and John's softly murmured encouragement added to the heat. CI'm gonna..." he said, and John tightened his hole around Kavanagh , pulling his orgasm from him and making it seem to last forever.

When he could think again, he pulled out gently, drawing a hiss from John. Spreading his cheeks, he checked for damage. "Geeze, Kavanagh , I'm fine, "John grumbled. " Now would you get undressed? Uniform pants are uncomfortable against tender places."

"Picky, picky" Kavanagh  said, but he stood on wobbly legs and started to undress, even though he wanted nothing more than to collapse. Then he wobbled his way to the bathroom to get a washcloth for John, before his knees finally gave up the ghost, dumping him on the bed.

John tossed the washcloth back towards the bathroom, and then Kavanagh  wrapped himself around him, brushing his thumb over the bite-mark that he left. "You know, you look good like this," he said.

In response, John groaned and dropped his head forward. 

"You  be  wearing  that  mark for  while"  he  smiled....  he  knew  with  out  military  Dom  toprotect  the  Major  there  is  not  much  the Marines here can do  to stop the dom  scenicsits from  play  with  the  Major, we could  rape  him  and  on  one  Atlantis  would  be  ableto  stop us.

 


	7. Smith past lover

Smith had been hurt on return off-word mission on T1967V45, it was all McKay doing I hear but what was really make me feel sick was what he was think of an old lover who had disturbing past like Major Sheppard. LT had taken his own life because he could not live without Smith in his life that letter Smith got after the fact was still play in his mind word to word. It makes me more worried for my White ass zoomie. It was sad there was no other word for it.

Dear Smith,

I hope you don't throw away this letter immediately.

When you read this, then I'm dead by my own hand. But I didn't want to go without an explanation why I did this. I hope you can tell the others. And maybe, just maybe, understand me, at least a little bit and I regret that it has to end this way but believe me when I say I can understand you.

I was really honoured to be part of this team. And even if I couldn't always show it, I really loved you. All of you. After all what happened in my life it was not easy for me to show trust, but believe me, I did trust you. It was nice to know that there were people who cared for me without wanting something in return, who didn't see the tainted brat I was, who only saw who I had become. I'm sorry that it didn't last and that you had to find it out this way.

I know you all read my file as I read yours. But there isn't everything in it and you need to know everything to understand. You know that I ran away with my brother when we were kids, but the file didn't say why. It was because my brother wanted to save me and himself from our father. I was six years old when he came to me the first time. I didn't know that it was wrong what he did, all I knew was that it hurt so much and my mother couldn't help me because he beat the shit out of her when she tried. I was ten when we had finally managed to run away. We became part of Carson's carnival of traveling wonders. And it was nice at first. They didn't ask questions. When the authorities came they told them we were the kids of some of the carnies. We had to work hard for our living but it was okay, nothing we couldn't handle.

At the circus I've met Trick Shot, the best marksman in the world. And he saw that I had a talent and said, he would teach me. I became his personal assistant, I worked only for him and swordsman henceforward and they taught me how to shoot with a bow, with a gun, with a rifle and to fight with a sword or with my bare hands. The two became my mentors. I didn't know that I had to pay them someday. When I was thirteen, swordsman called me to his trailer and there was this man. He paid for my service, the special service as Trick Shot called it. I didn't want it, please believe me. I fought but the man was so big and he held me down and once again it hurt so bad. They said, if I want to stay at the circus I had to pay them for my stay and for Barney's. That was, when they made the tape you saw. I know, I should've fought harder but I was fourteen years old and they were six grown men but I know now that this is not an excuse. I discovered that tape a few years later, when I finally fought against Trick Shot. I killed him, you know that. He had the tape, all of them, in his safe. I didn't know why I kept this one. Maybe to remind myself who I was once and who I had become, maybe to just remind myself that I didn't want to be this helpless ever again.

Then, after the incident with Colonel James Marks, I became a member of your team. And for the first time I felt accepted. No one at Green-Bates ever trusted me like you did. They always saw the killer, the spy, the dumb Marine. They tolerated me but they never trusted me, except Nat and Phil and it is my fault that Phil is dead now. I helped Koe Hill with his plan and I killed my colleagues and one of the few friends I had now died because of me. But none of you ever blamed me for it and it felt so good. I know, it was selfish to not tell you but it was the first time I got accepted and I didn't want to screw it up. But I guess that was my mistake, wasn't it? I should've gone long before you found out that I'm only damaged goods. You've been right to throw me out of the team.

I should've told you. I know that now but I hoped, I really hoped, that it would be different this time, that maybe you could accept me the way I am. When this 'thing' started between us (yes, I still say us), it felt good, like family, like family should be and even if I wasn't able to show it to you most of the time, I loved you and I still love you and I know that I failed you, that I soiled that wonderful relationship. But I hope someday you all can forgive me.

I decided to end my life because I don't want to live without all of you, can't live without you. Since I left the military I miss you all. Every day I wake up and I feel so empty and I know it's my own fault. But I can't do anything against it. I still love you and I miss you and this life is inane without you. I screwed it up and I deserve to be alone but I can't stand it any longer. And so, this is my last letter. Please, forgive me what I've done to you.

Love, LT.

PS: I know I'm asking a lot but maybe you could arrange that I don't get buried but cremated and my ashes get spread over the ocean. Maybe some fisherman can do it.

Unable to take any more of this letter that keep play over and over again in Smith mind I gave him something to help me sleep for few hours just so I could get some rest from smith thoughts. Major came to check up on him, it wasn’t for that black mark Major Sheppard would make a great CO for this base.


	8. playing rape

Nick was Frank's off again on again boyfriend in high school. The best thing about Nick was the close look like to John Sheppard that frank could find. Same blue eyes and dark brown hair only thing that was different between the two was that John’s muscles tone than Nick on his legs, arms and bite of chest from playing football. 

The two were in band together it was one way to more money for underage kid and good excuse to be around alcohol. While the two were have a drink after a gig the topic turn to sex has it always did after few around of drinks, but this night it was Nick how did the most of the work until Franks asked if he wanted to play rape?

It’s no secret that Nick likes rough sex. The kind that leaves him bruised and walking a bit funny for a day afterwards. And it’s no secret that Frank is just too happy to give him what he needs. So when Nick brings up his fantasies about getting raped, abused, used against his will, Frank listens. And then he goes quiet. They just sit there for a while in silence and Nick thinks he’s gone too far, but then Frank leans over and whispers

“Wanna play rape?”

Nick looks at him, not quite sure what to make of it. "No?" he offers, because surely, saying yes would make him an even bigger freak than he already is.

Frank smiles. "Now, that's the spirit."

“Really, I don’t know why I brought it up... I don’t even know how you would do it.”

“Hmmm, that’s my problem, isn’t it? All you need to know is that it’s going to be when and where I choose, whenever I feel like it. You game?”

Nick worries his bottom lip. It sounds intriguing, and he knows Frank is really just offering what he has asked for. But now that it’s on the table, as a real possibility, it’s scary as fuck.

“Maybe... well... yes, kinda.”

Frank raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Ok... yes.” And that’s it.

They don’t talk about it anymore, not that there is an awful lot to discuss, after all it’s supposed to be an attack, unexpected. _Rape_. Even though he wants it, wants it a lot, Nick makes sure not to be alone, not venture into dark areas, not to pose any kind of target in the next few days. On the one hand he doesn’t want to make it too easy for Frank and on the other hand, to be perfectly honest, he’s scared shitless. But nothing happens, Frank acts dead casual around him and they only make out as usual.

And after a week or so, Nick just forgets about it. Thinks that Frank was bluffing and that the actual deed freaked him out just a little too much to go through with it.

Some more days pass and Nick is on his way back to the motorhome from a meet and greet when someone grabs him from behind, pulls him into a gap between the motorhomes, throws something that might be a pillowcase or a bag over his head and ties up his hands behind his back. Nick heart skips a beat when he’s roughly lifted up and carried around, then dumped on the ground, hard, _somewhere_. He panics but then remembers Frank and their little deal, so surely this must be what Frank came up with. Which is pretty impressive so far, but thing is, Nick’s really not in the mood. He’s tired and just wants to have a shower and crawl into his bunk.

“Come on, Frank, I’m wiped out. Just wanna go to the motorhome and sleep...”

“Who’s Frank?” In a voice that really, really doesn’t sound like Frank at all.

Fuck.

Nick feels the icy grip of fear take hold, breath going faster, his limbs going all tingly and weird. He starts to struggle, but the stranger, possibly _not Frank_ , just laughs, pushes him down to the ground harder and pulls the blindfold off. They’re in a dark room, the only light coming in from a streetlamp outside, Nick’s lying on his stomach on the floor with the stranger straddling his waist and he can’t see a thing. Whoever it is, he’s strong, pulling him up like he’s a doll and pushing him against the wall, iron grip on Nick’s wrists, arms bent painfully behind Nick’s back. Nick connects with the wall shoulders, chest and face first, it hurts and he fells the air getting pushed out of his lungs from the impact.

“Please, please, just let me go...” he pleads, his voice sounding squeaky. “Please, whoever you are, I won’t say a thing, but please let me go!”

“Quiet.” The stranger’s voice is low, almost a growl. It really doesn’t sound anything like Frank.

Nick hears the rip of tape and feels a strip of gaffa tape getting plastered over his mouth. Any idea of safe-word was gone, but if the guy isn’t Frank, that won’t be worth anything anyway. And it’s not like they have actually agreed a safe-word.

Nick feels a hand undoing his belt, yanking open his trousers and shoving them down. The stranger is wearing gloves and long sleeves, no way of telling by the hands or arms if it’s Frank after all. Nick is in full panic mode now, he’s hyperventilating and it’s making him dizzy because he can’t breathe properly with his mouth taped shut. He’s frantically trying to wriggle free but the stranger just increases his grip on Nick’s wrists and Nick is so full of adrenaline that his muscles don’t work properly anymore.

Nick’s mind screams _NO_ but all that comes out is a muffled moan, he’s shaking his head, squirming as much as he can without hurting himself. He almost passes out because he’s so terrified, absolutely helpless with no means of escape, when he hears the stranger spit into his hand and two fingers press into him. It hurts, and not in a good way. He’s getting stretched too fast, too far, and ok, this happens occasionally when he and Frank have sex, and then the burning pain feels good, but now the fingers inside him just _hurt_. Nick’s vision is starting to white out, face scraping against the rough stone of the wall, he can’t get his hands free and any attempt at kicking out only leads to the stranger pinning him harder.

The fingers are pulled out and there’s no way he’s even halfway ready and for a brief moment there are no hands on Nick’s wrists, but they are still bound, and before he can do anything he feels the stranger leaning against him with all his weight while he fumbles with his trousers. Nick hears the sound of a condom wrapper ripped open, at least he’s getting that, and then one hand is on his wrists again while the other steadies Nick’s hips. There’s a litany of ‘please, please, please, let this be over soon’ going on in Nick’s head, tears streaming down his face and he can hear his blood rushing in his ears, his heart pumping so fast it’s like it’s trying to burst out of his chest. It’s fear and blind panic but also something else, something much more twisted, and it goes straight to his groin. A hard cock pushes against his entrance, wet with the little bit of lube on the condom, and Nick would scream if only he could when the stranger pushes in. Nick knows that fighting now will only make it hurt more, so he stays still while he gets fucked almost dry, shallow thrusts that quickly get deeper, faster, harder. He’s hard despite the pain and the fear and the humiliation, _because_ of the pain and the fear and the humiliation, his body is a traitor and something inside him keeps telling him that he wanted this, asked for it and now he’s getting it. The fantasy made real, even though this really isn’t how Nick had imagined it. It’s fucked up, wrong, but a sick little part of him thinks it’s also insanely hot. One last push that feels like it’s ripping Nick apart and the stranger’s coming, panting, buried deep inside Nick’s body. A hand fists around Nick’s cock and with a few rough strokes he comes.

And then it’s over, the stranger pulls out, rips off the tape and frees Nick’s hands, then he steps back and without anything to hold him up Nick just slides down the wall and collapses on the floor, trousers around his knees, sobs and screams finally free to come out.

“Is that what you wanted?”

It’s Frank’s voice, there’s no doubt about it this time, it was Frank all along, and Nick can’t breathe because he’s crying so hard.

“No... yes...”

Nick doesn’t know, can’t think, it’s what he wanted but not what he thought it would be like and all he wants is Frank to _GO AWAY_ and leave him alone, let him make sense of his feelings, just make sense of everything because at the moment it doesn’t make any sense at all. But Frank doesn’t leave, kneels down instead and draws Nick into a tight hug, and Nick’s first impulse is to push him away but Frank won’t let him, just holds him tighter. Frank holds him until Nick calms down, until the tears dry up and the sobs lessen and Nick wraps his arms around Frank, head resting against Frank’s shoulder.

Frank helps Nick get up from the floor, pulls Nick’s trousers up and wraps his hoodie around him. He almost carries Nick back to the motorhome where cleans him up in their tiny shower room, bundles him into his bunk, wraps him in blankets and crawls in next to him. “You ok?”

“No. But I will be.” Both fell asleep like that night but Nick was never the same after that night. It took him months before he stopped jumping at Frank’s touch.


	9. first Solo

Frank remember the first time he had got lucky with boy solo trip; He was sixteen just got his divers license that year. He picked his target a boy was younger maybe eleven, from the school in poor neighbourhood. Frank hadn't chosen the boy based on much more than the fact that the lad was alone quite frequently. Not because the kid was particularly good-looking or looked like he might be more easy to follow than anyone else, but because he was alone and unassuming.

He had started out following on foot, keeping close enough behind the boy to keep a steady eye on the other's path, yet far enough back to where he wouldn't seem suspicious. What he couldn't have was some nosy bitch sticking her cunt of a face out the window and phoning her neighbourhood watch program because some bloke was following a little too closely behind some school lad.

The car was an easy bet anyway, mostly for mobility reasons. Frank could follow the boy for an hour and not tire out, which was good since the kid seemed to walk a lot anyway. But it was difficult tracking someone's schedule when they changed their routine often enough to cause defeat in the eyes of less experienced predators. But Frank had been at this more years now.

A good thing about boys that Frank had always found to be true, especially the ones around eleven or twelve, was that they were much less targeted then little girls. The downside to that being that little girls put up less of a fight. But when a little boy gets pushed into an alleyway and violated in the most delicious ways, he'll usually keep it a secret because he's embarrassed and petrified of anyone else knowing they let themselves be molested. Little boys are never taught what to do in a violent situation when all someone wants to do it shove a cock up their ass. They're never taught to scream fire or where to hit to get away, they're virgins about the subject in all aspects because we as a social expect the boys not to be teemed and boys do not cry we are brave all the time, only girls are scared and cry.

Frank had been following the boy's path for a few weeks, but sometimes the kid would take the busy street home and other times he would walk through a quiet neighbourhood. Sometimes the lad would stop and get some crisps or a candy bar at a shop, and others, it seemed he would skip that all together and go through the park. The worst days were when it seemed the kid would just take a bus home. There was no real pattern to the other's movements, which in the eyes of Frank was a real fucking problem, but nothing that couldn't be handled.

For example, he could almost always tell if the boy was going to stop at the shop if he headed left. If he was going to cut through the park it was a straight shot, but if he was going to walk home among the quiet or busy street, he would turn left, and it was just a matter of where he turned next that the T-way that told Frank which way he was heading home. At first, Frank believed it best if he was going to abduct the boy, to get him among the busy street. There would be more potential witnesses sure, but people usually kept to their own and would be less likely to make a fuss if they heard anything, like if the boy was stupid enough to scream.

Frank also considered the quiet street, but if he didn't cover the kid's faggot ass mouth in time, a scream would surly arouse suspicion from the surrounding houses. Another option was the park, which was usually empty of people. They had a public rest room that could work as a perfect spot to take the kid for a quick little 'in-and-out', but Frank had checked and there were no locks on the doors, and even though he had never personally seen anyone use those toilets, it would be a real shame if someone were to come in and ruin all the fun. The other good thing about the park was that he could simply ditch the kid there in the bathroom when he was done, like some used condom you found in an alley when you went to take a piss on way home after night out, that you knew was probably still warm from the drunken sex by someone.

At long last, Frank settled on the park because he didn't want to have to go through the trouble of taking the little bitch home, especially if his little ass was as tight as Frank imagined it would be, and he ended up coming two minutes into the rape. Yes, the park seemed to be the best option, even if it was a bit riskier since the doors didn't lock.

A few days after Frank had decided on his plan of action, he finally got the opportunity. He couldn't stop thinking about the boy's tight, warm hole, lubricated with a mix of blood and spit and tightening around his cock every time he gave the ass a little spank. Frank could imagine it even more vividly when he saw the familiar dark hair and red back pack exiting the school a little after four in his little school required uniform. He watched the kid heading straight and started up his car. He drove to the park in less than five minutes and stopped, getting out and waiting near the toilets where he knew the kid passed close by while cutting through area for a shortcut home.

Frank held a cigarette in his mouth as he waited, waning to enjoy the rush of nicotine that filled his lungs accompanied by the adrenaline that he was sure to get as soon as he saw the lad walking through the park. He held a roll of duct tape in his hand, which he maintained was the only thing a person should ever really need for a proper rape. Often times you can get by without it, but the less bruises on the body, the less questions are asked by concerned parents, and duct tape can keep the victim from moving around too much and ultimately only hurting themselves. Unless you were one of those bloke who liked to fuck and then kill, then you wouldn't need to bother with the tape and sometime he was of this blokes but not today, he was looking for something else.

Sure enough, after a few minutes of waiting by the bathrooms, Frank saw the kid marching across the pitch that lead to the park. He pretended to look unassuming, simply standing near the toilets and smoking like any normal bloke might do. Finally, with Frank already half hard in his trousers, the boy walked right past him. Little girls knew better then to stride so close to strange adult men, but little boys didn't, we fail to protect the boy so often which give people like me more chances to get what we need from the little tie ass.

Frank tossed his cigarette in to clear bag before stuffing it in his pocket and walked up right behind him covered the boy's mouth with a hand, the duct tape in his other. He easily pulled the kid into the women's toilets by his hair. The way Frank saw it, they were much safer in the ladies since anyone with a cunt between their legs usually had enough sense to wait until they got home to piss.

From the moment they got inside and Frank had throne the back pack to the hard, tile floor, the boy started struggling. The kid yelled and made a dash for the door which was completely pointless. Frank grabbed the other's small body and pushed his stomach against a wall. "Shut your fucking mouth," he warned, but he was right in assuming the boy wouldn't listen, trying to push himself away from the wall with no success. "Fine, yell for help," he told the boy in a quiet voice. Pulling his hood down over his face only his eyes could be seen. "In fact, I want you to yell." Frank tore off a piece of tape and made quick work of getting the boy's hands behind his back and trapping them together.

He threw the boy down on the floor onto his stomach and heard the sound the kid's head hitting the hard surface like the sound a dead fish makes as they slap it on the table ready to be gutted. Frank assumed the wind had been knocked out of the lad, since he wasn't even screaming. Giving a small, excited laugh, Frank dropped down to the floor and started pulling down the boy's trousers to his school uniform and exposing a pale little ass. He pulled them down to the boy's knees and gave his ass a slap with his hand which seemed to bring some life back into kid who started yelling again. All the, "Get off me” and "Please!" were useless, and wasted on Frank's ears.

"Do you like that?" He asked, bringing the palm of his hand back down harder against the other's flesh with earned a yelp from the body on the floor. Frank laughed again, sitting on the other's legs as he undid his belt and unzipped his fly. Frank pulled out his cock and held it in his hand. The air was cold in the bathroom, and he had to stroke himself a few times just to get hard again. "You're going to take my cock," he told the boy, who was shaking from a mix of tears, cold, and fright. He squeezed the one of the boy's ass cheeks as he continued a run his hand over his own cock until to stood up on his own and nearly touching his stomach. Placing he condom on his stiff cock.

He moved his other hand to the boy's bottom too, and spread his ass cheeks to expose the tight little hole between them. Frank moved down, straddling the boy's lower legs as he leaned closer and taken a little bottle of hand watch he squeezed a drop over the kid's ass. This earned another yell from the body below him. "Shut that fucking mouth before I decide to rip you in half," he warned, even though the "Stop" still continued follow from the boy’s lips in between sobs.

Frank watched the hand-wash trickle down, and he drop in other two drops of hand-wash again a little higher to watch it drip down, making the tiny ass look more slick than it was. Once he was satisfied with the way that perfect little ass looked all wet and sticky, Frank moved back up the other's legs and perched himself on the other's upper thighs. "Do you want this?" Frank asked. He didn't expect and answer and more he did not get answer more than a few shakier sobs from kid so he gave an answer himself. "I can tell you want this from your slick little asshole," he growled at the other. "You're going to love taking my cock!"

Grabbing the boy's ass with one hand and his cock with the other, Frank moved his body so his cock was ready to pierce the tight ring on muscle. He let his other hand fall to the pale ass again and spread his cheeks wide before he moved his hips forward and his cock slid slowly into the warm, tight little asshole only slightly slick from spit.

The boy started screaming loudly and Frank had to pull his cock out just so he could cover the boy's mouth with another piece of tape. The lad's sobs were still very loud, even with the tape covering his mouth, and Frank thought next time he'd muffle the screams a bit more and make whoever it was choke on their own little pare pants.

He pushed himself back in to another violent plea from the boy's body. The intense tightness of the virgin ass was almost too much. Frank started moving his hips to get the boy stretched a little more, and could tell from the sudden amount of ease that he was able to accomplish when doing it, that the boy was likely bleeding from his ass. "You're so fucking tight," he told the kid with a grunt. "Feels like you've never taken a cock before. I'm the first to touch this ass. I'm the first to fucking take you."

As Frank continued it became slightly easier to do so, taking his time since he was in to rush to finish. After a little he pulled out and turned the boy over onto his back, still straddling the virgin's skinny legs. He knew it must have been uncomfortable for the boy to have to be laying on his own arms, which would hopefully stop him from moving around too much as Frank took the boy's trousers off all the way and moved so that he could lift the other's legs up and move between them. The boy was twisting and struggling to move away but Frank slid a hand up the other's shirt and pinched one of kid's small nipples.

The boy on the floor continued to cry, making his face red and blotchy and smeared with snot. The other's small cock was still limp but that only encouraged Frank more. He lifted the boy's legs up around his waist and surprisingly, the other hardly struggled at all. "You're a slut for it now, aren't ya?" he asked, quickly leaning over the kid and shoving his erect cock back between the lad's legs and back into his tight hole.

The position was uncomfortable for Frank's knees, but that wasn't going to stop the quickly swelling sensation is his groin. Keeping one hand on the boy's chest and the other on the dirty floor beside him, Frank moved his hips faster. He bent his head lower and grabbed the fabric of the boy's shirt between his teeth and tugged. Frank knew he was basically an animal that would do almost anything to satisfy his desires, but he didn't care.

He shoved his cock deeper into the boy's body, speeding up and nearly tugging of the nipple that he was gripping between his fingers before he moved that hand up to the boy's hair and tugged on it hard. The sensation on the boy's ass tightening in pain sent waves of pleasure all the way up through his cock and fed the animal inside him.

Frank jerked his hips and felt an orgasm building up inside him. He nearly pulled his cock out before ramming it back in and ignoring the loud whimpers of the boy, only tugging on his hair harder every time he heard one loud enough to shake his concentration.

Finally, Frank shook with a feeling of ecstasy and felt himself coming fill the condom deep inside the boy's no longer virgin ass. He stayed there for a few seconds, moving his hips slightly to milk the orgasm he felt. Then he pulled out, wiping his partially blood covered cock on the boy's discarded underwear and then throwing them at the lad's face. He stood and pulled his trousers back up, tucking his flaccid length back inside them and doing up his belt as he stood over the used body on the floor.

There was drying blood all around the boy's thighs, and he looked like a whimpering mess of fluids. Frank rolled the limp body over and ripped the duct tape from his hands. He continued to lay on the floor, his cheek pressed against the tile, still whimpering.

Frank gave the naked and bloodied ass one more spank which unfortunately, hardly even got out a pained moan from the kid. He removed the condom place in to clear bad along with the boy shirt he had bitten while he funked the tie ass. Frank left the women's toilets and moved leave the park and the boy behind him, feeling quite satisfied with himself.


	10. Jim's ass pay the price

It been four years Sheppard was own sixteen years old and he was force in to relationship with Nancy the cheerleading queen. The Bitch, had got her dirty little hands on my man, he should have been mine but on school slut beat me too it. Everyone in school know that Nancy only care about what Sheppard name could do for her, she did not care for the beautiful boy with creamy skin, blue eye and dark brown hair.

I found myself take it out on the young boy that I had in the ladies in that park four years ago, it soon became almost something of a habit, picking the boy up and finding a nice spot to pound his ass mercilessly. Frank knew it was a bad idea, after all, the whole reason boys hardly ever told was because they were too embarrassed by themselves. If his little Jimmy suddenly got comfortable with the idea, he might go and cry rape.

Frank almost couldn't help it though. He wanted to take the boy and keep him and fuck him for hours at a time without having to worry about arousing anyone's suspicions. But Frank knew that a kidnapping would warrant a lot more than just suspicion, and then there would be an investigation.

He was no stranger to police, however. Back before Frank had stumbled on the brilliant realization that little boys' assholes were a better option, and not to mention a lot tighter, he had killed at least three men throughout a five-year period.

It wasn't as if he had exactly been 'on the run' from the cops, but he had been pulled into questioning once for video footage of him at the same petrol station that the man had been killed. He supposed they hadn't found anything else condemning about him, since he didn't hear back after the hour of interrogation.

Frank wasn't surprised that the boy had stopped struggling so much when they were together. And to be perfectly honest with himself, Frank had been a little gentler than he ever had when it came to his victims. That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy it, on the contrary, Frank had almost come two minutes in to their last little session when he was sure he heard the little boy moan in actual pleasure.

He always dropped Jim back off near the same place he had picked him up, one time practically pulling up next to the school which he knew was outrageously unsafe for himself. But that wasn't enough for him. He wanted to be able to hold and touch and fuck that little body anytime he wanted. He wanted the boy tied up and naked, his little cock sticking out between his legs in a position that gave away the pleasure Jim was trying to hide.

The more he thought about kidnapping Jim, the less he saw any objections to it. After a while, Frank couldn't even come up with any reasons not to do it. And after two days of consideration since the idea had struck him, he decided that all he really wanted in life was to be able to have Jim whenever he wanted, and that the only solution was to kidnap him.

Frank waited half a kilometre away from the school, knowing he would be able to see Jim come out, and knowing from the week prior that Jim had even stopped fighting it so much when Frank came to pick him up.

It was as casual as ever. He watched as the school got out and little boys and girls all in their little uniforms came scampering out. Jim was talking with some other boys, all of which were taller than he was. The talking stopped though when he knew Jim had seen the car he was driving. There was a moment when Frank thought Jim might foolishly try to run, the way he stood there staring. After a few minutes though, Frank watched as he said goodbye the other boys and walked to the car and got in without complaint.

"There's my boy," Frank said, leaning over to pull the seat belt over Jim's chest. The lad put his backpack down on the floor of the car and just looked out the window, but Frank was relieved to see that at least Jim was shaking with sobs.

"You know, I'm starting to think you might look forward to our little trips together," Frank said.

"No," Jim responded, and Frank was honestly a little surprised that the boy had even answered, most of the time he just stayed quiet.

"Then how come I can see your little cock is already hard for me?" Frank asked, moving a hand over to the boy's school trousers and rubbing his upper thigh. It wasn't hard to feel that Jim was as flaccid as ever, but that didn't stop Frank from grinning and moving his hand back to the steering wheel while he drove.

He was taking Jim to one of his father’s safe house little outside city. Since Frank had decided the kid wouldn't be leaving for some time, he granted it was the safest bet.

Jim didn't talk the whole rest of the ride, but he actually spoke up when Frank pulled into the drive. "Is this your house?" he asked, looking around. None of Frank's neighbours were outside, but he thought that if Jim should scream, they would hear it. He took out a knife from his pocket, a much smaller and nicer one than he had used on the boy before; sharper too.

He flipped the blade out before answering. "Yeah," he nodded. "And you're going to get your ass inside and be good for me, so I won't have to use this thing?"

Jim looked over at the knife and fell silent again, which Frank was glad to see, just in case the other was thinking about yelling out.

He followed the boy into the house, keeping the knife pressed to the small of the boy's back to keep him trying to do anything stupid. Frank had to pause to unlock the door, but after that he pushed the boy inside.

It wasn't too big of a house, but it technically had three bedrooms since one was down stairs were a basement could have been. Frank guessed that one was best to use so he pushed Jim in the direction of the stairs and the boy obliged.

The downstairs bedroom was rather nice considering Frank hardly used it and everything in there seemed to be a little dusty. At least there was a bed.

Frank closed the door behind them once they were inside and then pressed his little victim up against the door. He took his knife and slicked through the middle of Jim's shirt, making the buttons fall off.

"Stop!" Jim said quickly. "This is my school clothes," he protested, and he actually began to cry at that. Frank laughed at how ridiculous it was to cry over clothes.

"Why are you crying, Jimmy?" He asked, forcing his finger under the boy's chin and making him look up. 

"My mum's going to be so mad," came the boy's response, but it only made Frank laugh again.

"Don't worry, I'll get you some new ones," he promised, moving a hand to the newly exposed chest and running a thumb over Jim’s little pink nipple.

Jim only sniffed and stayed still while Frank touched him, and he was glad that the boy didn't put up a fight this time when he slipped off the other's blazer and ruined shirt and let them fall to his feet. He was pale and bony, but the boy's skin was still soft.

"Go and sit on the bed," Frank said. Jim followed his orders, sulking like a child who had just been sent to his room, an expression on his face as though he'd just tasted something hanky.

Frank followed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Take off your trousers and lay over my knee," he instructed. Frank was a little disappointed that he had to brandish the knife before Jim listened to him but finally the boy was in his little white briefs, lying across Frank's knees on his stomach.

Frank dreaded the day when Jim would start puberty and hair would grow over his pale skin and Jim would grow taller. He liked Jim the way he looked now.

He pulled down the boy's briefs just enough to expose his pale little bum. Frank smiled to himself, as he raised a hand and brought it down hard against the boy's ass. There was a screech of pain from Jim, and the hit quickly turned the pale cheek pink.

Frank pulled down the pants a little further and did it again. "Have you ever been spanked by your dad before?" Frank asked, his hand stinging a little.

"-No," Jim whimpered back. Frank gripped the boy's supple ass with his hand pinching it hard before moving his fingers to Jim's mouth.

"And I'm gonna’ guess daddy never fucked you with his fingers before either," he said with a laugh. He was rather proud that the kid actually accepted the fingers into his mouth, coating them with saliva and making Frank's cock twitch in his trousers at the feeling of Jim's tongue.

He took his hand away once he was satisfied his two fingers had been sufficiently lubricated and brought his middle finger to the entrance of the boy's tight little ass. Jim whimpered and Frank took that as incentive to push it inside.

Frank fucked the boy with his finger for a good few minutes, a complete sense of pride running through him at the feeling of Jim's small cock pressing against his leg in what he was sure was a semi erection at least.

He pushed in his second finger with a cry from Jim. "It hurts!" he said loudly, but that had never stopped Frank before, and he worked the second one in the same as the first until the boy was easily taking two and letting out whimpers as he practically fucked himself on Frank's fingers.

"Look at you taking my fingers like this. You're a little slut, aren't you Jimmy?" Frank's asked, finally taking away his fingers and wiping them off on the bed. "I think you're ready to take my cock now," he said. "Get up and lay on the bed. On your back," Frank instructed.

He stood up and took off his trousers and pants as Jim did what he was told. Frank was already hard from watching Jim get fingered, and he stroked himself a few timed as he looked at Jim laying on the bed, his little cock sticking up.

Frank got on top of Jim, looking down at the boy was closing his eyes. He pressed his lips to the kid's only to have Jim turn away. He brought up a hand and held the boy's jaw straight while he kissed him, having Jim continue to resist it was only making his cock ache for the other's stretched little asshole.

He pulled his mouth away from Jim's and lifted the boy's legs up so that his knobby nearly touched his bony shoulders. Frank held the boy's hands above his head with one hand while the other slipped down to guide his cock deep inside Jim.

"It hurts! Stop, stop. It hurts!" Jim said, which to Frank, was at least better than sobbing.

"Don't pretend you don't love getting fucked!" Jim growled, beginning to move his hips. He let go of Jim's hands and steadied himself on the bed while he drove his cock deeper in and then pulled out only push back in again.

He was panting hard and closing his eyes, basking in the feeling of the warm ass he was fucking and the boy's muscles tightening and relaxing when he felt a sharp pain in his chest. Frank quickly looked down to see that Jim had stabbed his with the abandoned knife, right below his blow his right breast plate.

Frank pulled away. "You little fuck!" He yelled, grabbing Jim's wrist who had quickly tried to leave the bed. Somehow the boy managed to pull his wrist free and made a dash for the door.

He was still quicker though, even while bleeding. Jim wasn't fast enough to open the lock on the door and Frank grabbed his hair with a scream from Jim.

"I should cut off your cock for that!" He yelled at Jim, who has fighting against him as he pushed the boy to the floor on his stomach and then straddled the boy's back. "Jesus Christ! You're a quick little fucker. Now what can I do to punish you?" Frank asked, holding a hand over his bleeding side.

He figured he would need stitches, but nothing life threatening and Frank was extremely glad he had gotten a smaller knife, and not continued to use the kitchen knife which could have done more damage.

Frank’s side was bleeding pretty badly and Jim was crying into the carpet so he felt safe standing up and putting back on his pants, despite his cock still being hard. “When I get back,” Frank said, putting on his shirt. “You better pray I’ve changed my mind about cutting off your cock, because you don’t need that for me to fuck you. And you also better hope I don’t find something nice and big to shove in your ass.”

He put his shirt on over the wound and then unlocked the door with the key in his pocket and left, quickly locking it again when he was out. Frank figured Jim would be banging on the door to be let out, but he also knew that no one could hear that very well unless they were in the house themselves.

Frank left the house, clutching his wound and thinking of all the nasty things he was going to do to the boy once he got back. As it turned out, Jim was a fast learner. Only two weeks and he was already starting to act decent. Honestly, it was almost like having a son; a son who Frank often fucked into a mattress. But in Frank's mind, he was still better than most dads.

Frank fed Jim and even bought him clothes, making sure to lock the cellar door at night even though Jim had stopped trying to escape every time he opened it. Okay, so maybe Jim was more like a prisoner than a son, but it made Frank happy to see the boy after spending a whole day at school.

He even brought Jim out in public sometimes, taking him out to eat at least once a week. As long as the kid continued to call him 'dad' in public, no one asked any questions and they were pretty much left alone.

It was a Saturday morning, which meant no work and meant that he could spend all day with Jim. He walked down in his PJ with a slight morning hard on and unlocked the door to the cellar where Jim stayed for most of the day.

He had been sure to by snacks so the kid didn't get to hungry, but also not enough that Jim wouldn't get any fatter, he was still slightly chubby on the cheeks which Frank liked because it made the kid look younger.

Frank closed the door behind him and flicked on the ceiling light. He figured that the reason the change in light didn't wake Jim up was because his entire body, including his head, was under the covers.

He got onto the bed and lay down next to Jim, trying not to wake the kid up as he took off the covers. Fortunately, Jim only turned over to lay on his stomach and press his face into the pillows to shield his eyes from the light. When Frank moved a hand down under Jim's pants though, he saw the boy lift his head up. "Shh, just lay back down," Frank said in what he was sure was a soothing voice.

Jim did as he was told even though Frank knew the other wasn't going to go back to sleep. He rubbed his hand over the boy's ass and pulled down the briefs he was wearing. Frank saw the muscles tense slightly but he continued to massage until he was bored and then he moved his hand away and reached down to the side of the bed where he had put lube. Frank figured that if he wanted to use Jim's ass all the time, he couldn't abuse it the way he had been, and the purchase of lube had helped with that.

Frank poured some of the thick liquid down over Jim's smooth ass, letting it drip down between the cheeks before he was satisfied. He moved his hand back down and over the newly slicked bottom and spread the lube around a little more before pressing his middle finger inside.

There was a small muffled whimper from Jim but Frank didn't pull away. "Shhh," he repeated. "Relax your body or I'll knock you unconscious," he warned. This was one of the only threats Jim seemed to listen to anymore because Frank had accidentally caused the boy to fall unconscious while putting him in a headlock the last time Jim had tried to escape.

After he felt the body relax a little more, Frank continued to work his finger inside the boy's lubricated hole before adding another finger. Jim didn't make a sound and only continued to lay there, practically a doll.

After a third finger and no complaining noise from the boy, Frank moved his fingers out and took off his trousers. He stroked his semi hard cock with the same hand he'd use to finger Jim, adding a pound size drop of lube to make it even easier. He grunted softly as he cocks swelled and began to ache for more friction.

Frank moved and straddled the boy's thin hips easily, guiding his cock between the cheeks and teasing Jim's stretched asshole. He moved just the tip inside and then took it out again, moving to lay on top of the boy and pressing his chest to Jim's back before pushing his cock in a little deeper, giving him better leverage.

Still there was no sound from the boy, which added to the feeling of fucking a sleeping Jim. After Frank managed to push in nearly all the way, there was a slight moan from Jim, either from pain or pleasure. Frank ignored it though, moving his hips back and then pushing in again. Even with the boy's ass stretched by three fingers, it was still tight enough for immense pleasure.

He rocked his hips back and forth, making the bed creak and moan and hit the wall repeatedly as he forced his cock in and out again.

Frank came after a good ten minutes, pulling out and wiping himself off on the blankets. "I thought we'd watch the game on the TV," he said to the boy. "You can come up stairs and take a shower if you want," Frank added.

"I don't even like football," Jim said, lifting his face away from the pillows.

"Well, you're going to watch it anyway because it's on in an hour."

Jim only dropped his head back down onto the pillows. "Whatever," he said.

Frank got up and put back on his trousers, thinking he might take a quick shower before he came to get Jim for breakfast.

"Fine then, suit yourself, but I'm coming back down here in half an hour and you'd better have your best game face on and cheering for Eels," Frank said, leaving the room and locking the door behind him.

It really was a quick shower, and Frank made eggs and toast for the two of them before he went back down to the cellar and knocked before entering. Jim was sleeping again, covered up by the blankets. "Oi, get up now, breakfast time," he called.

Jim shifted and finally got out of bed, putting on some trousers and a t-shirt, both of which Frank had bought for him. "That's more like it," Frank said, watching Jim and walking with the boy up the stairs and to the kitchen where he served breakfast.

When the game came on TV, Frank got himself a beer and made Jim sit next to him as he rested one hand under the boy's trousers and the other on his beer. This is how Frank was how took care of Jim for four and half years when he joined the military has medical doctor he had sold the his every first sex slave to his crazy funk up cousin how loved to fun men and boys doing unimaginable thing to them. Frank did not think Jim would live through the first night but he did not care for if he had or not either because Jim ass was too loss for Frank to enjoy towards the end.


	11. nightmare

I watch Sheppard shot up in a cold sweat, he was shaking he set up on bed in the medical bay he had been hurt again on off word mission with McKay. I don’t know the details of the mission only what little his medical condition could tell me. He had been beaten and there was foreign object that been use to fuck him from behind, there dry blood, find him sit up with his feet up to chest and his arms around them slowly rocking himself.

He looks like small scared little child, not our commanding Officer who was in charge Atlantis military. I get him settle back in to bed give him something to help him sleep and his mind was taken back to his childhood when his stepfather, his father's new husband did things to him at night when his father was away for business.  

“No, papa, I don't want to tonight!” John whimpered, “Please, papa! Please!”

“You think you can defy me?” Gordor's enraged voice came. A loud smack followed the man's yelling. John's terrified whimpering quickly became loud sobbing. John's clothes rustle and through on the floor. The sickening rhythm of his step-father spanked, it made Doc cringe.

“Papa, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!” John's pleas slowly devolved into unintelligible crying. The sound of the boy's thin frame being thrown down onto the bed made Doctor hold on to the door. He knew what happened next. He'd known all along.

To doctor it feel like it took forever how could man do that to the child of the man he says he love. Frank did not understand that how had an overprotect father like Patrice Sheppard missed what was going on under his own roof.

He didn't know how long he'd stayed like that, just laying curled up in his bed. He heard the loud creak of door being opened and poked his head out from underneath the blankets, seen his step-father leave he slowly not dressed and walked slowly to his brother room, he did not want to be along tonight.

“Big bro?” John's little voice trailed off at the end. Frank would see the image in John head. David had tears coming down his face as his brother stood before him.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” He asked, looking at his elder brother.

“Of course you can.” David said, choked out as he made space for John in his bed. The boy climbed up onto the bed slowly, as if moving hurt him greatly, and curled up against David’s side.

“Thank you, big bro.” John whispered, his eyes slipping shut as soon as his head hit the pillow. Just has John found comfort in his dream he relaxed in his sleep. Frank was so angry he called one of marines to sit with john and he went down to shooting range start shoot to work through his anger when Bates come along with Ford.

He asked “everything okay Doctor” see the man shoot a hole P90 clip in to his target.

Frank smiled look at the paper target full of holes. He replied “no, but I feel a lot better, thanks” he takes the target off the wall and in red ink pen he transcribe, big bold letters, GORDOR SHEPPARD on the top and without other word he walked off.


	12. Gordor Sheppard takes way little John safety net

Sheppard and Stackhouse found themselves in sand storm off world and the Minka people had asked him to wait the storm off and give to military personal from Atlantis shelter for the night. Stackhouse is downstairs getting his morning coffee after taking a shower when he hears it, Sheppard is calling out in his sleep. He knocks but Sheppard doesn't answer so he pushes the door open. "Too big," his flatmate is moaning and Stackhouse hurries over when he sees him thrashing around under the sheets. "Major," he says softly then louder when Sheppard doesn't answer.

When he finally wakes up Stackhouse tells him what he said and how it was a nightmare and Sheppard just scoffs and tells him he doesn't remember the dream or nightmare he just goes to the bathroom and slams the door shut. Since its a glass door Stackhouse can see him when he kneels down and puts his hands up to his face and the way is body is shaking. But if Sheppard doesn't want to talk about it he won't so Stackhouse hesitates for a few minutes but then he leaves and gets ready to head back to Atlantis or to see if the storm has passed. He thinks about talking to his Doctor Beckett about it but decides Sheppard would probably get mad at him so he decides not to.

It happens again a couple weeks later they were back for other overnight stay with Minka people, only this time Sheppard isn't just calling out he's screaming for help and Stackhouse bursts into the room wishing he had his gun, expecting its someone actually attacking his friend. But it is not, it is just Sheppard having another nightmare but he can't seem to wake up from this one so Stackhouse grabs him and lies down on top of him to stop his thrashing. Sheppard seems even more scared at first but Stackhouse keeps talking to him in a quiet soothing voice and stroking his hair and eventually Sheppard does calm down. Now his whimpering and Stackhouse snuggles him closer and Sheppard finally sighs and puts his arms around him. "Safe,' he said as he drifted back to sleep. Stackhouse stays with him until he wakes up, and this time he is not leaving until Sheppard tells him what is going on.

Sheppard wakes up to find himself curled in Stackhouse's arms, feeling safe and warm and loved even though he knows Stackhouse doesn't want him that way. At least that's what he thinks until he realizes that Stackhouse has a nice big hard on pressing against his ass. He wiggles a bit and Stackhouse moans but that is a mistake because the Stackhouse wakes up and scoots away looking all embarrassed when Sheppard turns to face him. "It's all good," he reminds his friend but Stackhouse frowns. "I'm here because you had another fucking nightmare Sheppard and I couldn't wake you up. Now what's going on and don't tell me you don't remember. You said 'too big' again and you sounded like you were in pain and you were yelling for help."

Sheppard shuddered and turned away but Stackhouse reached out and wrapped his arms around him again. "You seem like you feel safe with me," he whispers. "I'm your friend Sheppard please tell me."

Sheppard starts crying he feels so ashamed and so angry but this is Stackhouse and he trusts Stackhouse, so he tells the truth. "I was 8 and David was 15. Our step father drug him up Stackhouse, that's why he gets so pissed off when I do them because he knows how bad it can be." Stackhouse doesn't like Sheppard's big brother and nothing he saying now makes him like him any better, he braces himself because he thinks it'll be even worse. And it is because Sheppard tells him "I was 8 and he was high and I had a nightmare. Dad was away, he didn't know about the drugs and other things or he wouldn't have left me with them. But he did and when I had the nightmare after my step was done with me I got into David’s bed. He was naked and he told me I could stay but I had to take my clothes off too because they were too rough. I guess his skin was super sensitive because of whatever he give, but he was my brother and I trusted him so I did what he said. I was sucking my thumb and he said it might make me feel better if I had something bigger to suck and he pushed my head between his legs."

Sheppard couldn't go on but Stackhouse just held him closer. "Did he make you suck his dick?" he asks very quietly feeling his rage at Sheppard's brother and Step father growing with every word. Even if it was when he was high and a teenager it doesn't matter, he still did something terrible to his baby brother. Even when Harriet is super drunk she would never even think of molesting Stackhouse or anyone else, no matter how nasty her temper gets when she drinking.

Sheppard nods and trembles, reaching out to pull Stackhouse closer, clutching him like he is 8 again. "I tried to tell him no he whispers. 'I told him it was too big but he just pushed it inside my mouth and fucked my mouth until he came. Then he passed out and I got sick in the hallway on the way to my bed. he had to clean it up the next day and at first he didn't believe me and called me a liar. But then he checked out his bed and found my hairs and realized I was telling the truth. He never said he was sorry but he never did take this drugs again after that our step father gave him. I pushed that all down in my memory but I guess I didn't delete it. I didn't know how to delete things until I was a lot older.

"So what triggered it, why did you remember it now," Stackhouse asks. Sheppard is nestled in his arms now and he realizes that he feels comfortable like this. he thinks about the hard on he had when Sheppard woke him up and he blushes but decides not to worry about it. This is about Sheppard and helping him not about Stackhouse realizing he might not be as straight as he always thought he was.

Sheppard shocks him by looking him square in the eye and saying "I guess it started when I started with Kavanagh have his way with me whenever he wants or it could be when I started fantasizing about you Stackhouse. I've been imagining what it would be like to suck your dick, to let you fuck me and I guess it scared me, made the memories come back." Then he smiles and Stackhouse is amazed to see him blushing. "But now that they're out in the open I think I can finally get past them. And all because of you Stackhouse. You keep me right." He leans forward and kisses him and Stackhouse shocks himself by kissing him back. It's not a passionate frenzy or anything, but they're tongues are in each other’s mouths and they're holding each other close, so close Stackhouse can feel Sheppard's dick getting harder. "This isn't the right time," he gasped as he pulls away. "You just had a kind of breakthrough Sheppard, we shouldn't start anything yet."

Sheppard pouts and says "But I'm ready Stackhouse. I want this. I know why I told you I was married to my work now even though I really wanted you even that first night after Colonel was killed." He strokes a hand down Stackhouse's cheek and Stackhouse swallows hard at the way it feels. His stomach tightens and his dick reacts even though he tries to will his hard on away. "I know you want me to Stackhouse, don't lie and say you don't. You know I don't even have to feel this" he puts his hand on Stackhouse's dick and strokes it through his pajama pants "to know that."

Stackhouse swallows again, then suddenly he's kissing Sheppard, forgetting all about the fact that he was not Dom just man with needs like every red blood man and anything else except how much he wants the other man. He has plans to beat John, Step father within an inch of his life the next time he sees him but he doesn’t tell Sheppard that. He probably already deduced it but that's something for later. Right now all he can think about is Sheppard and how much he wants him, how much he care for him even if he hasn't said the words and isn't sure he ever will. "Tell me you'll let me" Sheppard moans as Stackhouse starts tugging his clothes off. "Yes" he growls as soon as their naked. He looks at Sheppard and says the words that caused him pain in the past. "You need something bigger to suck, Major." Only now its healing him, Sheppard smiles a brilliant smile and lets Stackhouse shove his head down between his legs. As soon as his lips close around the head of Stackhouse's dick he closes his eyes and starts to groan with pleasure. Fuck, the man is brilliant just like Stackhouse always knew he would be, good at anything he decides to do and even if this is the second time Stackhouse's had his dick sucked by another man he is just glad it's Sheppard. "Oh baby, yeah, just like that" he groans and Sheppard sucks harder working Stackhouse's dick into his throat and digging his fingers into his ass.

Stackhouse starts to move a bit thrusting his hips up in time to Sheppard's bobbing head, watching his dick disappear and reappear and feeling his balls clenching in anticipation. He won't last long but he is determined to return the favour just as soon as he cums. "Soon" he gasps and Sheppard moves faster, sucking even harder as Stackhouse digs his fingers into his messy, sweaty curls until he bucks his hips up sharply feeling his cum shooting into that hot wet mouth. Sheppard makes a whining needy noise and Stackhouse sees stars explode behind his eyes as he finishes shooting his load.

After a few minutes he recovers enough to see Sheppard resting his head on his thigh and strokes his hair. "Good boy," he murmurs and Sheppard smiles shyly at him.

Then Stackhouse flips him on his back and whispers "My turn" and Sheppard is moaning and gasping while Stackhouse puts his mouth on his dick. He's never done this before so he's a little clumsy at first but he knows what he likes and he makes sure to do that to Sheppard. He sucks the red head of his dick into his mouth a few times, then strokes his balls, surprise to find that Sheppard is into man scaping and is completely hairless down there. Then He thought if someone had force it on him, saving him against his will but soon he files it way to ask John later.

He then licks John’s shaft and feels Sheppard squirming then takes his balls into his mouth one at a time, suckling them like they were sweets. And they are to him. he wonders what it would be like to give Sheppard a rim job but decides to save that for next time, maybe when they're taking a shower together later in the morning before they head back to Atlantis. He knows that's when Sarah likes to have her ass licked. He feels a little guilty thinking about ex-girlfriend that he left behind on earth. Then he forgets about her completely and concentrates on the person he really in front of him, moving his mouth up and taking Sheppard's dick back into his mouth. He can't swallow him down as deep as Sheppard did but he does his best and uses his hands on the bottom half, stroking in time to the movements of his mouth while Sheppard pants and groans and calls out his name. "I'm Cumming," he shouts lifting his hips and Stackhouse pulls his mouth away. He's not ready to swallow not yet but knows that will come with practice. But he lets Sheppard's hot cum cover his lips and chin and doesn't wipe it away when he leans down to kiss the other man. Sheppard doesn't seem to care and Stackhouse feels himself getting hard again. God sex with Major is going to be nothing but fantastic he thinks as Sheppard licks his own cum off of Stackhouse's face.

"Better?" he asks when they are lying curled in each other's arms again. Sheppard is softly stroking his dick and Stackhouse is trying not to moan, trying to concentrate on making sure the other man really is OK now.

"Much," Sheppard says and kisses him slow and hot. "You’re not too big Stackhouse, your just right, Just right." Then he grins and says "oh and when you punch the shit out of GORDOR SHEPPARD my step father makes sure to get in a few good hits for me and David too, alright?"

"They'll all be for you, everyone," Stackhouse assures him with a loving kiss. "Bastard's had it coming for a long time, I don't care how much he's tried to make up for it since."

Then he kisses Sheppard again and they spend the rest of the day pretending the outside world and especially Gordor Sheppard don't exist.


	13. Kavanagh take advantage

After close to 24 hours of no food and that Electrical floating cloud Doctor McKay was place in bed rest by doctor Beckett which he requests to send in his room, the Arrogant and condescending Despite his irritating demeanour, many members of the Atlantis expedition are on friendly terms with him, and McKay is able to keep steady friendships with Sheppard, Ford, most of the other that he often interact with due to his roll on Atlantis.

After falling asleep in his room he weak to the feel of crawling, sliding all over him, the feel of the other man's body twining around him … holding him tight and suffocating him like a snake with its prey.

Rodney lay on the cold stiff sheets, sheets so different from those in his quarters back on Atlantis. He closed his eyes and tried to think of those sheets; soft Egyptian cotton, the highest thread count he could find that he had bought with him from earth. He'd purchased a number of sets before leaving Earth. He loved the feel of them, loved rolling, snuggling into them like a cat. Something he couldn't do here. He didn't know what he'd been given; what drug they'd put into his food or his drink but whatever it was it stopped him from moving, from protesting what was being done to him. His inability to move didn't bother the man on top of him though, if anything it ... excited him more.

Small movements were still available to him and so he was able to close his eyes, to try and pretend this wasn't happening to him. It didn't help. Kavanagh's endless stream of filth poured from his lips as he told Rodney in explicit detail what he was going to do to him over the coming hours. Calling him whore and slut as he spread Rodney's legs and settled between them. Tell Rodney how he could put his big mouth to better use then insulting others.

He'd stripped Rodney and sat at his side, on the bed; running his hand up and down Rodney's body, tracing the outline of Rodney's shape before removing his own clothes. The bed was larger than those of his room, allowing Rodney to normally relax in these temporary quarters he'd been provided with, allowing him to fling out his arms and legs on the bed ... to enjoy the space. Now though the size of the bed simply allowed him to spread out in a different way. Kavanagh positioning him as if Rodney were a toy he could play with, a toy to move however and wherever he liked.

McKay start to think that he was off world with Kavanagh, the side of the room was all wrong to be his room in Atlantis. The people seemed friendly and intelligent and willing to provide food stuffs to Atlantis in return for help on clearing through the Ancient ruins on their lands; ruins that held a multitude of devices that needed investigation and where possible, repair. He hated being in Kavanagh's constant company but the other scientist was the Lead Scientist on the team that made contact with the J'Sdians so he been told by the everyman who had his hand on him own. Because of that they requested that he be present whenever the Atlantians came to help. Rodney had tried to argue the point with them, telling them he didn't need Kavanagh's help but he'd been ignored. He remembered telling Sheppard just how much he despised Kavanagh. He distrusted the man intensely and loathed being in his company. The only reason Kavanagh was still on Atlantis was not be he is an excellent scientist but the fact they were cut off from earth.

Rodney shivered, sickened by the feel of Kavanagh's hands exploring him; not hurting him physically but breaking Rodney down, shattering him with their persistent encroachment. Warm hands slowly starting at his feet, stroking and touching every inch of his flesh. He swallowed as Kavanagh's fingers were followed by the soft heat of his tongue as he moved up Rodney's legs to his thighs.

One quick lick to his cock and Kavanagh bypassed it, carrying on his inexorable journey up. Extra time was taken to stroke and lathe Rodney's soft belly; the wisp of Kavanagh's stubble sharp against his flesh, his tongue dipping repeatedly into Rodney's belly button. His hips were gripped tightly as Kavanagh came for the first time, his come splattering against Rodney's legs. Rodney whimpered as Kavanagh rested his head against his belly, his breath gasped out against Rodney's cold and shivering flesh.

He couldn't believe this was happening to him, couldn't believe he was lying here in this place. Lying here drugged and unable to stop what was being done to him. Nobody to help him, the only person closes by being Kavanagh. He squeezed his eyes tighter and hoped that Kavanagh wouldn't notice the tears beginning to trickle down his face.

Kavanagh was observant though and when he lifted his head from Rodney's belly and saw the tears he laughed softly, mocking him, calling him the 'Great Rodney McKay' as he licked the tears up; small sounds of pleasure coming from his mouth at the taste of salt and the way the helpless man twitched beneath him.

He laughed as Rodney screwed up his eyes as tight as he possibly could. He moved down Rodney's face, his tongue once again chasing his fingers as they now caressed and stroked Rodney's neck before nipping at his ears, making Rodney reluctantly jerk and groan in pleasure before continuing down. Rodney gasped as his nipples were pinched hard until they stood upright. He groaned as first one and then the other was drawn into the furnace of Kavanagh's mouth to be sucked and nipped before being released.

His eyes opened in panic as he was slowly rolled onto his belly. His head was carefully lifted and turned to the side, a pillow placed under it.

"Don't want you suffocating now do we?" the comment was murmured from behind.

His fear increased as his legs were spread again and Kavanagh's hands moved between them to stroke his thighs and then to softly caress his backside slowly, oh so carefully feeling the shape and contours.

He heard noises behind him and then Kavanagh was sliding a wet and slippery finger into his cleft, rubbing it against him, circling his hole before adding more and more of the lubricant until it was dripping between his thighs onto the sheets below. Rodney tried to move, to close his legs and stop this from happening but his body wouldn't obey him. He lay there, fine tremors running through his body as Kavanagh breached his body with one finger. He could feel it slowly invading him, gently moving until a further finger was added and then another, until there were three fingers exploring him as much inside as they had outside.

Kavanagh's fingers were long and thin and Rodney whimpered as they pumped in and out of him until a fourth and final finger was added. As the fingers moved in and out of him spreading the oil, Kavanagh's tongue was back at work, soft delicate licks along the top of his thighs and around his cleft. He yelped as Kavanagh bit down hard, no doubt leaving a mark, letting him know that he'd been there. Not that he'd be likely to forget this, especially with those fingers twisting up and around rubbing against his prostrate. He trembled as his cock began to harden and his breath quickened. He was shamed to realise that he was getting hard from Kavanagh's ministrations. Kavanagh's hand came around under him. The man chuckled as he felt the semi-hardness of Rodney's cock.

"Such an eager slut." He told him.

Rodney breathed a sigh of relief when the hands finally left his cock and his ass.

"Oh no," Kavanagh whispered in his ear, breath ghosting against him. "You don't get off that lightly. I'm going to fuck you like this later. Gonna watch my cock slide in and out of your plump ass and then I'm gonna pull you back until you're sitting in my lap, impaled on my cock!"

He turned Rodney until he was flat on his back again with his legs spread, a pillow under his bottom raising him up, displaying him for Kavanagh's lascivious gaze. For one moment his frightened eyes caught the intent and knowing look and then he closed them, trying desperately to escape this reality. A reality where his legs were being spread as wide as possible, the pain inside as Kavanagh's cock pushed into him, filling him until his balls rested against Rodney, his pubic hair as harsh and unforgiving as his facial stubble.

Rodney tried to think of other things; tried to make his mind go away but he couldn't. Kavanagh was whispering again, his words filling the space of the room as his cock pushed again and again into Rodney. His thrusts were perfectly timed to match the strokes his hand was making on Rodney's cock, the shots of pain as Kavanagh bit at his neck.

Rodney groaned as he came, his orgasm leaving him feeling lost and cold inside. All he could feel as he lay there; an empty shell, was the soft licking of Kavanagh's tongue on his face, licking up his tears once more as he continued to thrust into him.

Time no longer held any meaning for Rodney. He'd no idea just how long they lay together in this room. He knew it was hours though. They no longer needed the overhead lights for Kavanagh to see him, now bright sunlight filtered in through the sheer covers on the windows. The sun shone through and surrounded Kavanagh as Rodney looked up at him. Like a halo! he thought in despair.

He wondered how much longer this could go on, when it would stop. Rodney choked back a sob. He didn't want to cry in front of Kavanagh again, didn't want to feel the soft tongue once more licking up his tears, drinking down his despair and forced submission as he was turned and arranged onto Kavanagh's lap.

"Oh yeah!" Rodney cringed at the words. "You're so fucking hot like this, McKay. I should keep you like this always." Kavanagh traced the shell of Rodney's ear before he bit down gently. Rodney whimpered and Kavanagh chuckled. "You like that don't you? It's funny but I never thought you'd be such a slut for cock ... my cock!"

He gasped as Kavanagh spread his legs wider over his own and pulled Rodney closer to him. He thought about how he must look in Kavanagh's lap ... impaled on his cock with his head pulled back so Kavanagh could feast upon his ears and neck; licking, biting and tasting him.

Kavanagh thrust up hard and Rodney's head spun as his prostrate was hit again. He groaned. "That's it," Kavanagh growled. Rodney groaned again as his cock was softly stroked, Kavanagh's thumb rubbing gently over the weeping slit. So much deeper this time, so much deeper than the previous times ... Kavanagh's cock so deep inside him, tunnelling into him, leaving Kavanagh's mark on him.

Rodney wanted to die. He'd never thought this could happen to him, never realised how this would feel. Oh, he could appreciate how a man looked but that was as far as he'd taken it. He looked, he was human after all. In fact, there was somebody he'd looked at quite more than once but that was as far as it went. He figured there were enough problems finding women that were interested in him to even bother thinking about trying to see if he could take it any further with a man. Besides his work took precedent over everything. It always had and always would. At least that's what he'd told himself on those lonely nights in Antarctica. If anything Atlantis was ever lonelier; despite his finding friends, close friends in John, Radek and of course Carson. He turned his thoughts away from Carson. Didn't want to be thinking of his friend at a time like this. He wondered if he should be grateful for this human touch, however warped and sick that might be. It was all he was likely to receive for the foreseeable future.

His ass was sore from its continued use. Kavanagh had already used him so much; he couldn't remember how many times now. They seemed to fade into one another. He ached. His subordinate couldn't seem to get enough of him. It was almost as though Rodney were a banquet for a starving man, the way he was being feasted upon. Was this something that Kavanagh always wanted to do to him? he wondered. Did Kavanagh fantasize about this when they were working together? He felt sick at the idea, sick from the misuse of his body and sick from the presumed cocktail of drugs in his body. He wondered fleetingly if the antibiotics that Carson gave him prior to his leaving Atlantis would react to whatever drug he'd been given here.

He groaned in both pain and pleasure as Kavanagh continued to fuck him, hitting his prostrate again and again. Kavanagh initially moved Rodney up and down his cock, gripping Rodney's hips with his hard fingers, leaving the unforgiving bruises as a patchwork on Rodney's pale skin. As the rape continued his hands left Rodney's hips, to go wandering over his body ... finding and playing with Rodney's nipples and cock. Kavanagh's own hips continued to work for him, thrusting up into Rodney, the soft repetitive movements almost were lulling Rodney into sleep. His head sagged back to rest against Kavanagh's chest. He was so tired; both physically and mentally, but he couldn't drift off, much as he'd like too. Kavanagh was speaking now and he began to focus on Kavanagh's words, words that shocked him to the core.

" ... but you know how it is don't you? If at first you don't succeed try, try again." Kavanagh laughed. "Hmm! They always say third time lucky don't they? Not that you'll remember anything." He ran his tongue slowly over the shell of Rodney's ear before biting down gently. He carried on softly talking. "It's a pity really that you won't remember. Although there is also a beauty in that fact. No matter how many times I do this to you, you just won't remember it happening. When you wake up you won't recollect anything about this. The Pegasus version of Roofie and it's mine to give to you or whoever I choice to have."  
Rodney listened in horror as Kavanagh continued to talk about the drug. Oh my God. he thought. This has happened before. He'd done this to me before and I didn't remember. No! he told himself. It can't be true. He's just trying to play with your mind. Ignore him. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the man's voice, trying to think of something else but he couldn't. All he could think about were Kavanagh's words, what it meant to him. How had' they known though? There'd been no marks, nothing to show for this having happened before. He shivered as Kavanagh softly began to stroke his sensitive cock, his hand moving up and down until he quickly brought Rodney to orgasm. He cried out, a soft cry more of pain than pleasure. Kavanagh thrust up in him once more and then again, before filling Rodney's hole with his spunk, his hands tightening on Rodney as he came.

He was pushed off the man's lap and laid flat on his bed again. Kavanagh moved until he was sitting next to him. Rodney listened to the sound of the man drinking and then a moment later his head was lifted and a glass placed to his mouth. He swallowed the drink gratefully, anything to get the bitter taste of come from his mouth. He wondered before what it would be like to suck a man's cock. Now he knew, Kavanagh pushing him to his knees on the floor and fucking his mouth, then later doing the same thing on the bed, straddling Rodney's face as he lay flat on his back, his cock sliding in and out, making Rodney gag as it hit the back of his throat before Kavanagh came in his mouth, laughing as the spunk dripped out of Rodney's mouth onto the sheets below, as he'd desperately tried to swallow, to stop himself from choking.

He twitched as Kavanagh's hands pressed down on the bruises on his hips, pain flaring through him as Kavanagh dug the tips of his fingers into the bruises, pressing down until Rodney cried out in pain. Kavanagh sighed.

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You should see yourself McKay - how you look decorated with my marks. I wish these could stay. I'd love you to still have these marks tomorrow." He sighed again. "Thankfully I do have some photographs to remember this by, and of course there are always the memories to keep me going until we have to visit again. Amazing stuff they have here." His voice took on a friendlier tone as he continued to press down on the bruises. Rodney bit his lip to stop himself from crying out again, refusing to give Kavanagh the satisfaction of knowing he was continuing to hurt him.

Kavanagh looked up and smiled at him. "They have this fantastic cream. It heals all sorts of things, leaves no trace. Beckett would kill to get his hands on it, not that he ever will. You know, you should try and make friends with people off world once in a while, McKay. Try and make the effort. It's amazing what happens when you do, the things that they show you! But then we all know your capacity for making friends. The only reason you have 'friends' on Atlantis is because they can't get away from you." He laughed scornfully as his fingers carried on mapping out the edges of the bruising, the purples already showing up clearly on Rodney's pale skin.

The next morning when Rodney weak up in his room his body hurt like he been hit my train he put it down to what happen with electrical floating cloud at the gate room day before he had not memory of what was done to him and he had on marks on his body either.


	14. psychologist

After that Beckett found in my last medical check-up after off world mission that end up with me getting shoot with a Wraith stun gun. I been force to talk to Atlantis psychologist Doctor Jennifer Keller. So John found himself in her officer talking to her about the first time his retraining officer had played with him.

I came back to my room from my office on the base I am work, exhausted and high strung. I felt like a string ready to break. I had gotten inside the room, put my weapon away in the safe and was on my way to the bedroom when I saw him. My new training officer Commander Steve Sunny Hanna a Navy Seal. He was standing in the middle of the living area of the room in a pair of very tight black leather pants and a black silk sleeveless shirt that almost clung to his torso. He had bare feet and a look on his face I had never seen before. My breath hitched. God, he was beautiful.

“Come here, John,”

he commanded me, I had never before heard him sound like that. We grew up together in Hawaii he had I fool around while we were there for the summer. He sounded so sure that I would do what he told me to. I looked at him a little too long, apparently, because he gave me a stern look.

“Are you being defiant? Will I have to punish you?”

That got me moving; I almost ran over to him.

“Good boy, now kneel.” I slipped down to my knees with downcast eyes. I didn’t even care about my camo.

“We are going to set some ground rules for our new arrangement, today. Go to the bedroom and strip. Take a short shower, put on what I have laid out for you, and then come join me on the sofa.”

He moved away from me and I hurried to comply. I wasn’t sure what the consequences would be; When I requested this I didn’t know if it would ruin my perception of me if I did this with him. Well, it seemed the decision had been taken out of my hands. I was surprisingly fine with that.

I took the shortest shower I think I have ever taken and then put on the blue jeans and black wife beater he had lain out for me. I took the steps down from the bedroom to the living room and saw that he was sitting on one end of the sofa.

“Come here. Lay down with your head in my lap. This is going to be our safe zone. Whenever there is something you want to change about this arrangement we are about to begin, you will only have to ask to go to the safe zone. Here you are allowed to speak when you want to, but only here. As soon as we leave this place, you are to wait for my permission to speak. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir.” That what I was asked to call him when I first arrived here start of the week.

I could feel his cock reacting to me calling him Sir. I, on the other hand, had been painfully hard ever since he gave me his first command.

“Good.  Now first, you are going to need a slave name. I will only call you by that name in public if you are being defiant or disrespectful. At home, alone, I will not call you anything else; is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Your name is now Moon.”

I smiled brightly at that. I loved my new name. It went so well with his Sunny.

“I will not do anything too obvious when we are in public, but you will remember at all times that you are mine until you are sign to new unit. I will give you instructions before we leave home, if we are going somewhere. If someone speaks to you, you may answer them, but you will be respectful at all times. If there is any form of punishment you are not comfortable with, you will tell me now or in the safe zone at another time. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.  Now you have to choose a safe word, and if anything gets to be too much you will use it, understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“What is your safe word, Moon?”

“Crescent.”

“Good choice, not something that would normally come up in conversation. Now, I’ll make dinner for us.  You lie here and take a little nap.”

“Sir, I can take care of dinner. I’m your slave. Do you not trust me?”

“It is my job as your Sir to take care of you. I will always take care of all of your needs, Moon. You have had a hard day at work and you are exhausted. I will prepare a meal for us and then I will feed you when you wake up. Now rise up, so I can get up.”

I sit up reluctantly. Commander had been petting my hair ever since I lay down and I was surprised how much I enjoyed that. Once he had gotten off the sofa, I lay back down, closing my eyes. My Sir had told me to nap, so that was what I had to do.

When dinner is almost ready, I go to the sofa to wake up John. I gently brush my fingers down his cheek. “Wake up, Moon.”  
  
His eyes slowly open and I smile at him. He smiles back, stretches a little and sits up.  
  
“Mmm, Sir.”  
  
“I want you to set the table for me, Moon; dinner is almost ready.”  
  
He gets up and goes to the kitchen to comply. I am still not accustomed to him obeying me like that, all these years I had men under my command but never a childhood friend. He training was coming along well but I definitely happy with it.  
  
He takes plates and silverware out before looking at me.  
  
“What will we be drinking, Sir? What kind of glasses will we need?”  
  
“White wine, Moon; take the white wine glasses.”  
  
“Yes, Sir.”  
  
He takes out the placemats and puts them on either end of the table.  
  
“You will be sitting next to me today, Moon. I will be feeding you so I need you to be closer.”  
  
He moves one of the placemats to the place to the right of my place. He then puts the plates, silverware and glasses on the table.  
  
“Shall I put some candles on here too, Sir?”  
  
I am shocked; that is decidedly romantic, and therefore not something he would ever do. Then it hits me: he is trying to please his Sir, it give him idea how far he willing to go to do.  
  
“That would be nice, Moon. You do that.”  
  
I give him an affectionate stroke on his arm as he passes me and he gives me THAT smile. The slightly shy and uncertain one, the one that always makes my heart start beating faster when we were kids. He puts the candles on the table and lights them just as dinner is ready. I take the plates back to the kitchen to load the food onto them.  
  
“Sit down, Moon. I’ll be there in a second.” He sits down, puts his head down and waits. I take the plates to the table and go to the bedroom to get one of the things from toy box.  
  
“Put your hands behind you back.” When he does, I put the silver leather restraints on him. They are padded with black fur and are somewhat comfortable to wear. I sit down at my place and turn my chair slightly towards his.  
  
“Open your mouth, Moon. I want you to know that I will always take care of ALL of your needs.” He complies and I start feeding him very slowly. Every couple of bites, I give him a little kiss and eat some of my own food. I also alternately drink some of my wine and take his glass to his lips to let him have a sip.  
  
I like the idea that I will be in charge of his food, drink and medication intake from now on. I will get him on a healthy diet and make sure he doesn’t drink too much. I will have to join him at the gym. I will have to go with him there to insure he gets a well-rounded work out and not just a workout to make him look good. His health is now in my hands.  
  
When we are both done with dinner, I clear off the table while he still sits there with his restraints. After I’m done, I take them off of him and ask him to join me on the sofa for a time in the safe zone.  
  
“I want to know what you will accept in the way of punishment for bad behaviour, Moon.”  
  
“I don’t like the thought of corporal punishment, too many bad memories.”   
  
“We will talk about your childhood another time; you will have to tell me everything so I know what to avoid and how to help you. I will accept the lack of corporal punishment for now, but not forever, is that clear?”  
  
“Yes, Sir. Any other form of punishment you can come up with will be fine.”  
  
“Be careful what you say; you might end up regretting that.”  
  
“I doubt you will be able to find something that will make me use my safe word, unless it has a psychological trigger. I know that you will have to have a tight hold on me in the beginning; you cannot let me get away with anything at this stage. You have to teach me how to be a good slave for you, Sir.”  
  
My cock jumps at that and I can see from the little smirk on his face, that he felt that.  
  
“Very well. Tell my why you want this.” John know that was a clear command and I responded to it.

“I need to feel that people can count on me, that I would not fail anyone again the way I fail to save my Dom, my friends. The only thing I want to keep control over is my plane or whatever aircraft that I be flying during mission .”  
  
“I would never try and take control of one of your missions; you know that.” Command said.

“I do. I trust you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to do this fully.” I replied

“I know. I have been thinking about this for a very long time and I know you are nowhere near ready to wear a collar just yet.” My cock jumped noticeably at that. Fuck yes, I want to be collared; I want to claim me as someone, effectively binding us closer together than any wedding band ever could.

“But you will be getting tattoos tomorrow. It will be a clear sign that you are will to be owned by someone who is willing to take care of you fully as Military submissive.”  
  
“Yes, Sir.” Holy fuck, he is really committed to this. He really wants to training me so I could be good little military sub to some commanding Officer who has ball to collar me. That is such a fucking turn-on. I can’t wait to see what my tattoo will look like.   
  
“Good. Now, let’s go to bed. It has been a long day, and we are not done just yet.” He said  
  
“Yes, Sir.” I sit up and follow him to the bedroom.  
  
“I want you to strip for me, Moon, nice and slow. Make sure you put your clothes away so we don’t have to clean up after you tomorrow.”  
  
“Yes, Sir.” I feel like I haven’t said much other than that since I came home. I start stripping very slowly and make sure to put my clothes in the hamper when I’m done.  
  
“Well done, Moon; that was perfect.”  
  
I can’t believe how much I love to hear him praise me like that. I guess I really needed this, but then again, I have known that for a really long time. My reputation and the fact that I have never let anybody close enough to even consider asking them about this, is the only reason this hasn’t happened a very long time ago. Or maybe I was just waiting for the right Dom this time. The one person I can trust not to go running around all over the base and tell that John fucking Sheppard wants to be dominated. I trust him implicitly has he is one that has always had my back even when we were kids he always looked out for me. The most amazing part of it is that I didn’t have to ask him. He signed himself to my case the moment he found out the that I had requested this for myself. I guess that proves he is the right person for the ‘job’.  
  
“Now, come here. I want you to lie on your back, hands over your head and legs spread. You will not come until I tell you to; if you do, there will be repercussions.”  
  
“Yes, Sir.” There it is again. I crawl onto the bed and do as he tells me to. When I’m in position, he puts the same handcuffs on me that I wore during dinner. They are beautiful, silver with a black design on them that I can’t see. I will have to look at them a little closer tomorrow. The inside is lined in black fur and they are therefore not chafing the skin. That is a clear advantage, seeing as I have a meeting on Monday, and really wasn’t looking forward to explaining bruises on my wrists. He connects the handcuffs to the bed and moves down to my feet. He puts ankle restraints on me. They are similar to the wrist restraints except they are not connected to each other. He spreads my legs wide open and my cock definitely likes that. Each leg is held in place by a thin chain going from the restraint to the base of the bed.

He takes out a blindfold and I balk a little, but he just gives me this look, like ’What? You think you have anything to say about it?’ and that turns me on more than I thought possible. After he has put it on me, nothing happens for a while. The only thing I register is a little rustling, and then something is put down next to the bed. After a little while, I hear a sound I have heard so many times that it is ingrained into my very being. Apparently, he is sitting next to the bed drawing me.  The thought of that makes me achingly hard. I can feel the pre-cum dripping out of my slit. Damn, this is fucking killing me.  I wish he would touch me, do something to me. It is murder just to lie here without being able to see anything or do anything.

After a very long time, at least it felt like a very long time, the sound of pencil on paper stopped and the rustling began again. I assumed he was moving whatever he had been sitting on back to the living room. I heard his footsteps on the stairs to the bedroom, and then nothing for a while.

“You are so beautiful, Moon. My beautiful boy.” That had my cock stand up and take notice. It would seem I like being Commander’s boy, who knew? The next thing had me jumping and uttering a decidedly un-manly squeal. He was tickling me with something that felt decidedly like a feather.

“Lie still and be quite, Moon. I don’t want you to move or make a sound, is that clear?” I nodded my head a little and then went still.

“Good boy. Now I will pleasure myself with your body, and you will allow me to. You may not cum until I say so; if you do there will be consequences.” Fuck, that had me even harder than before; his commanding voice brokered no argument and I really didn’t have any objections to what he had said. In fact, it sounded fucking hot.

He continued with the feather or what it was he was using. He traced it from my jaw, down my neck, chest and around my achingly hard cock. I can’t decide if it is horrible or amazing. It really tickles and I have to use a lot of restraint not to squirm whenever it hits a particularly ticklish spot, but at the same time it is very erotic.

Next he took my legs and pulled them further up the bed, bending my knees.  I guess the chain he used was longer than I first thought. He sat my feet on the bed, exposing my ass to him. It was unnerving to not be able to see what would come next.  I had to completely trust him.

He had his lube finger at my hole and I felt it spasm a little; the lube was fucking cold. He pushed the finger in and started loosening me up, stroking my prostate every few passes. He soon followed the first finger with a second and a third. I heard a condom wrapper, and I was definitely looking forward to a good fucking. No sooner had I thought that than I felt something extremely cold being pushed into me and I screamed. As soon as the sound left my lips I knew I was going to be punished, but I had no choice in the matter. The feeling was unreal, and I didn’t think I could take it when his cock followed, what I suspected was, an ice cube.

He started out by rocking in and out of me very slowly and shallowly. After what felt like hours, he sped up, and at the end, he was pounding into me with wild abandon. He had never before fucked me that hard and it was the best damn fucking my ass had ever taken. Not that it hadn’t been good when he had topped me before, but then I always felt the need to top from the bottom.  This time, I had absolutely no choice in the matter.

He took my cock in his hand and started stroking it in time with his thrusts, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to hold my orgasm off for much longer. I felt him leaning over and felt his hot breath in my ear.

“Come for me, Moon.”

And like a trained puppy, I complied. I came harder than I have ever cum before and soon after I felt his cock expand inside me as he came with a mighty groan. He collapsed on top of me, and after a while he unfastened my restraints and took off my blindfold. I blinked a few times to get my eyes to adjust to the light again. He was lying on his back next to me, looking at me with a very content smile on his face.

“Come here.”

He reached his arm out and I rolled into him, put my head on his shoulder and snuggled up close. If anybody who knows me could see me now, they would have me committed.

“You did so well, Moon. Only one minor violation of my orders.  We will deal with that tomorrow. We can talk about this scene tomorrow too. For now, we will sleep.”

“Goodnight, Sri.”

“Goodnight, Moon.” I felt absolutely wonderful. I don’t think I have felt this good ever before.

Jennifer Keller asked that was all that happen that first day, John nodded his head “it was hard Commander and I were had a summer thing going every summer from when the age of 14 until his was send to Navy/Army academy when he was 17 after his mother was killed by mob because his father was investigating them, at time I did know that I over hear our father talk one night when there thought I was sleep”

Jennifer Keller asked “how did you feel when he was send way?”

John said “little lost, here I was looking forward to see my friend and he was not there at first I did not understand but then we I found out what happen why he and his sister was send away to the mainland. I sad, worried and little scared for my father and me”

“how old were you when this happen?” she asked

John said “I was 16 Steve was just few months from graduating High school and six months from his 18th birthday”

“how did you feel when you were reunited” she asked

John sigh he looks around the room he leading forward on the chair his elbows on his knees and his hand rubbed together he finely look up at the doctor Keller and said “Happy, scared at first but then he made me feel safe he always makes me feel safe to be with him. It was like that we never been part we just fell in to place like we have always done every summer when to reunite”

Keller said “I have other orpiment; I see you some time tomorrow”

John get up with just a nodded of his head, he not like he believed in this therapies shit not that he would ever say that to Keller, but he been over this before and it ever really help him then so he did see how it would help now. There was only one way he would feel safe here or anywhere that is to find a Dom to collar him.


	15. Military sub tag and punishment

Talking to Keller has open the gates that night when John when he sleep he had dreams about the first few days of his retraining with Commander Hanna.... 

I woke the next morning, which was a Saturday, feeling more refreshed than I can remember ever feeling before. I was lying with my head on Hanna’s shoulder, the same way I had fallen asleep. He was still sleeping and he looked so damn beautiful I just wanted to lie there and look at him, but another desire started burning in me. I wanted to take care of my Sir. I know we won’t be living in the roles 24/7, but I still wanted to do something nice for him.

I got out of bed, careful not to wake him, and went to the bathroom to piss and wash up a little before going to the kitchen. I put the coffee on and started a pan for scrambled eggs and bacon. While that was cooking, I put some bread in the toaster and put two plates on a tray along with coffee cups. The food all ready and put on the plates, I pour the coffee and go to wake up my amazing partner.

“Steve, wake up. I made breakfast.”

“Mpfh.”

That’s some reaction, not exactly the one I was hoping for. Then, I think he registers what I said because he sits up very abruptly.

“You made breakfast?”

I put the tray on the bed and climb in next to him.

“Yes, after last night I wanted to do something for you.”

I think I actually blush at that admission, so I put my head down. He puts his middle and index finger under my chin and lifts my head so he can look in my eyes.

“Thank you, Moon.”

He says it so gently and his eyes are filled with something that I choose to interpret as love.

“It really important that we keep people out and of this place no one should be in here, I don’t want someone walking in the middle of a scene or you be punished. It was a stroke of luck that he didn’t see the restraints. Then again, if he had, he would probably think you used them on me.”

I can feel my eyes grow really fucking big at that. Fuck, he’s right. I’m not ready to go public with this just yet. I know I will be at some point, but not yet. I gave up this life when I divorced Nancy maybe around the same time when I am done with my training. Jesus, that thought still gets me so hard.

“Well, we had better get going; we need to shower, and then we have an appointment at the military Jeweller.”

Shit, I had forgotten about that. I start getting excited, but also a little scared about that. What if I don’t like what he has designed?

He gets out of bed and heads for the bathroom. He looks back at me and gives me a little wink. I quickly get out of bed and follow him; cleaning up after breakfast can wait.

We go through our shower routine, with him fucking me, and it is as amazing as it always is. He is more demanding than he usually is, but that is par for the course in this new arrangement, so I don’t mind in the least. There is not a trace of weirdness between us, even though we both know that our relationship has drastically changed. We still have to talk about the scene from last night. I have to give him a critique. It might seem weird, but we both need to know what works and what doesn’t. He doesn’t have a chance in hell of knowing what I’ll like if I never tell him what I don’t like.

He has to change the code to the alarm to our privet quarters. Change it to 7875. I cocked my head for a second before it dawns on me.

“The years we were born?” he tells me, his first as he is the Dom and my second for I was the Sub in our relationship however long or shot it maybe.

“Yes and it is four different digits, not easy to crack. Since everybody thinks you’re the dominant partner of the two of us, they will think you decided what the code should be, and they don’t think you are nearly sentimental enough to choose our combined years of birth.” He knew the what kind of impression I give people around me.

“That’s true. Nobody will ever guess this.” I never really give anyone other than Holland a chance to get to know me, the real me and that was why I was here to change that to give myself a chance to be happy again, truthfully I could not remember the last time that I was happy even I really think about it would be that last summer Hanna I were together back in 1991.

We leave and go down to the ‘Vette. He gives me the address of the Jewellery store and I start the car. I remember my feels were all mix up the drive was so quiet it took every to keep my mind on the road on what I saw not to let it run off into the dark past. We get there and I found a parking space. We are on Liberty for the day, even with DTDA nonussies in the military for the last millennium the rest of the world had yet to catch up so I had asked for a non-judgemental person. The owner, whom I spoke to, said he’d do it himself, and since his brother was gay, he had absolutely no objections to us.

We entered the store and were greeted by a man in his early thirties. He was somewhat good looking, but he had so many piercings.

“Hi, my name is Commander Steve Hanna. We have an appointment with Will Harley.”

“I’m Will; come on in and let’s look at what you’ve got.”

“My slave name is Needle, Sir. I can recognize a Dom/sub relationship fairly easily. My wife has some of the same mannerisms as you do. She is also the most beautiful, petite redhead who most people would never even consider being a Dom.” I hear the owner say to the Commander has they leave to go to the back corner.

“stay here Major,” he told me and with that he to the back of the shop with the owner, I looked around the Jewellery case on display, ring with BDSM symbol but what caught my eye was the glass paperweight with a Boeing P-12E from world War I.

“He told me. He could sense that I was Dom to my partner’s sub and that I was wondering how. He told us that his Dom was a beautiful, petite redhead and he could, therefore, understand the dynamics of a Dom/sub relationship where the sub is seemingly more dominant.”

“Is that true, Needle?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Very well, carry on.”

“Thank you, Mistress.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Harley. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful of your position as Needle’s Dom, but since he told us, and you weren’t here…”

“That’s quite alright Mr?” she said

“Sorry. I’m Steve Hanna; you can just call me Hanna, and this is my partner John Sheppard, or Moon.” I look up from the little Paperweight hear my new name.

“Hello, Hanna, Moon, I’m Maggie.”

“Ma’am.” John bowed his head respectfully, and Will went back to work.

“May I see?” Maggie asked, and I nodded my permission.

“Oh my God; that is beautiful. Who designed that?”

“I did, I’m an artist. It represents the two of us. Moon be Air Force and Sub.” Maggie and Will both nodded. They understood.

“It’s done, sir.” Will was very respectful of Hanna and I appreciated that. The men under his commander were always respectful but most it was out of fear, however, there was few that he called friends, Ohana meaning family even. 

“Thank you.” I look around again this time I little class plane, it was Lockheed Martin F22 Raptor. I remember the first time I took one up for the first time. There no feeling like it, been strapped in your seat feeling the G-force on your body have you take her higher and faster. I miss that feeling, I have not been on a plane for little over month now and feel part of me is missing it crazy to think of flying like but it who I am.

“May I talk to Moon while working on your tag, Hanna?”

“Of course, Maggie, go ahead, you might be able to keep him out of trouble.” She took a chair and put it down next to me. She asked me what I do, and I told her. She looked like she was impressed. “I have a brother who was a Navy pilot. So I know how must flying means to you”

“Thank you, ma’am.” I bowed my head and I think I even blushed a little. I’m not normally this humble, but I guess being in the presence of another Dominant made me more submissive. Maybe it was just because Hanna and I had begun this journey again. I don’t know, but I do know that I could feel Hanna’s smile even though his back was turned. I knew that he is proud of my accomplishment Air Force, but this was something else. I think maybe he was proud of me as a sub.

When Hanna was finally done, he called me over to stand next to him. Will had cleaned the tag and covered it up so I couldn’t see it. He directed me to stand in front of the mirror, but with my back to it, I feel my Tag been played around neck one more. I don’t know why but I feel naked without them this past 24 hours, maybe because I been wearing them for so long. 

“Eyes up, Moon.”

He covered my eyes with my own hand and told me to turn around. I turned slowly and hear his tag place around his neck I the chain he his chest. I could feel him standing beside me. He took my hand in his. “Open your eyes, Moon.”

There was the third Tag it was the BDSM symbol with air force logo hand from the symbol like it was neckless, an accessory of the DBSM symbol. 

“It’s beautiful, Sir. I love it; thank you so much.” I am really happy with it, it clearly states that I am Military sub that living in BDSM world, to anyone who dares to look.

I kneeled in front of him and took his hand and kissed the palm. “Rise.”

He cupped his face in my hand. “I’m glad you like it, Moon, since it is never coming off again until you leave the military.” 

“Never.” I sounded outraged, and he smiled at that. he turned to where Maggie and Needle were standing.

“Thank you so much, Needle. You have done an excellent job.” He bowed his head and thanked the commander.

“We will only charge you for one of your tags in exchange us thanks you for your service.” 

he paid and we left the shop. When we got to the ‘Vette, he told me to drive us to a store and we still had to analyze the scene from last night and I had to discipline John for breaking the no sound order. 

I fucking love the tag; it amazingly makes me feel beautiful and it really does tell the story of what I am. I think I smiled from ear to ear the whole way home. We stopped at a store, and Hanna made me wait in the car as he went inside to buy something. I have no idea what it was, but I think it has something to do with my punishment. I really wish I hadn’t screamed last night. I’m a little worried what he might have cooked up in that twisted mind of his. I have heard the stories about what he had done to hoodlums that he integrated over the years. 

When we get home, Hanna orders me to take off my clothes and put on a pair of sweatpants and join him on the couch. I do as I’m told, and when I’m lying with my head in his lap, he starts stroking my hair.

“Is there anything you think I should have done differently last night, Moon?” he asked

“I loved what we did last night, but maybe…” God, I hate this, I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him think that he did something wrong. Last night was amazing for a first scene.

“Go on, just tell me. I want to know what I could have done better. I want to make it good for you, Moon. Everyone is different and even if I do know you it’s been years. People need and want to change it part of grownup” 

“It was good for me, Sir. Don’t ever doubt that. A way to have improved it could be to have given me an enema before starting. It is always a good idea before any serious ass play anyway.”

His hand in my hair had stilled at the mention of the enema, but he started again when I stopped talking. “That’s a good idea; I’ll remember that. Is there anything else you would like to add?”

“No, Sir, that was it. The rest was fucking brilliant.” I could have just talked just to postpone what was coming next but I just wanted to get over with.

“Thank you for that, Moon. Now, for your punishment.” He pushed me a little to get me off of him. I sat up and he got the bag with whatever he had bought earlier.

“Come here, Moon.” I got up and went over to where he was standing at the other side of the living area of our room, over by the small dining room table. He had moved the chaise a little so there was a bit of room in the corner. He put down two pillows and told me to take off the sweats and put them away. I went to the bedroom and came back naked.

“Kneel on the pillows, facing the wall. I want your legs apart a little farther than the expanse of your shoulders.”

I kneeled and tried to slide the pillows farther apart with my knees and found out that there was rubber on the other side. ‘Good thinking, that way they won’t slip from under me, once they have been positioned.’ I placed them where I wanted them and kneeled on them. “Good boy. Now put your hands behind your back.”

He put the restraints on me again. I think they were the same as the ones he used last night. I still hadn’t had the chance to get a good look at them. “Ok. Now bend your knees a little more. I don’t want you resting on your heels, but I don’t want you upright either, do you understand?”

I nodded my head and lowered myself a little more. I knew that this would be a very uncomfortable position to be in for any length of time, and something told me I would be there for a while. “Good, stay there.”

I heard him walking around behind me for a little bit, before settling down on the chaise. I heard the sounds of pencil on paper again. He obviously had some kind of fetish about drawing me in restraints. Something I did not know that Commander could do even in all the years I knew him I never saw him draw and I knew a lot about him more than his on and off just friends they have thing LT Cassy Mc. 

“I’m starting a new series. It is going to be called ‘John Bound’. When I have done about ten, I think I’m going to have them framed and hang them instead of the naked guy.” Shit, everybody that comes in here will see them if he does that. I don’t particularly like that idea, but my cock disagrees with my head because it got impossibly hard when he said that. Maybe, deep down, I do want the world to know about our new arrangement. I don’t answer, of course; he didn’t ask my permission, or even opinion really; he didn’t need to either; he is in absolute control over what happens between us from now on, and I think that is part of what makes me so achingly hard.

After a while, I can definitely feel my thighs starting to strain to stay in this position. It doesn’t sound like Hanna is anywhere near done yet, so I just have to endure until he is. When he is finally done, my thighs are burning. He unfastens the restraints and allows me to sit down. I practically fall down, but Hanna catches me. He sits behind me with his arms around me. “Good boy. You did so well. It’s all over now. All is forgiven.”

He strokes my hair and I start to relax. “Thank you, Sir.” I could feel him smile where his lips were resting against my neck.

Beep, beep the sound seem so far at first and it louder and louder I shot up to look around find myself in my quarters in Atlantis with my alarm going off. I get up to get ready for my day which starts with a visit with Keller this morning. 


	16. nightmare

Keller officer sitting on the sofa tell Keller about the nightmare that was triggered during sub training with the Commander Hanna. It been hard even now after all these years to think about it all. 

“take your time John” Keller tells I and do, more than I have too. 

“It been little over four months and I don’t have the nightmares as often anymore. They only come two or three times a week, now. And occasionally I’ll able to make it through one without even waking Hanna up. Because, really, that’s the worst part of it. That desperate expression on his face that tells I how much all of this has affected him too. I hate that this whole mess is causing him pain and that he feels obligated to take care of I because I’m still frightened of my own shadow more than that the fact he has full control over me. There are times though, when he’s so caring and even sweet with I, that I begin to think that it may have almost been worth it. Like the night...” I stop take in deep breath and looking around the officer space.

“it never okay to live in fear John” Keller said take minute before adding “go on” encouraging me to go on. 

“The room was starting to come into focus and through the sound of my own deep, laboured breaths I could just barely hear his voice.”

“John,” he whispered, “you’re safe. you’re in my quarters…with _me._ you’re alright.” He tells me while holding on me close to him.

“He was always careful to make sure I knew where I were before he touched me. I fixed my gaze on him and as my vision cleared I forced myself to give him a little smile. It was a struggle, but it always seemed to ease the tension in his face. I knew how much he must hate all this, but he never complained or made I feel like a stupid scared little boy because I’d developed a habit of waking up, screaming, in the middle of the night.” It getting easy to talk to Keller I don’t clamp up so much has I did when I first start to seek her help.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Keller asked

I smiled “that what he asked me, that night Doc this were same words he used”

Keller nodded her head and I tell her “Sometimes I did. When I were a little boy my mother told me of an old-wives-tale that said if I told someone about me nightmare before I ate breakfast in the morning it wouldn’t come true before she died. If the dream, I’d had just now was only some dark construct of my inner psyche then I’d recount the absurd details and Hanna would reassure me that it could never happen _in real life._ But tonight, it was as if I were reliving the bashing. What my mind could only barely piece together while I was awake became a crystal clear memory while I slept” Take a few breaths in and slowly let them out before continuing.

I shake my head at Keller let her know that I did really want to recalled the nightmare I had that night I continued, “No. I whispered as I turned on my side and buried my face in Hanna’s chest. He tentatively wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I felt him rest his chin on the crown of my head. And he held me in the stillness while my heartbeat slowed down to a normal rhythm.” 

“After a few moments I heard him ask, “Then I suppose you want to play our little game again, don’t you?” he asked me I said take a moment to rubbed my hands together.

“I looked up at him and nodded. The smile I gave him this time was genuine. He smirked at me in return. Making light of the situation was part of it. “Hold on, I’m in the mood for some whiskey. you want anything?” he asked, “Water would be good.” I told him.

Take other moment “Hanna acknowledged my request with a grunt as he pulled himself up off the bed. Under other circumstances I would have teased him by making some obnoxious remark about how making noises like that were a sign of his advancing years even if he is only few years older than me he was still older you know. But comments like that generally earned me a little spanking and that wasn’t the type of game I wanted to play that night” I could help smile at the thought of that night how it ended.

“When he returned with the drink and my bottle of Evian he immediately noticed that I had scooted over to his side of the bed and were nestling my head on his pillow. I expected him to tell you to move your ass, but he didn’t even bat an eye. He just handed me my water and slid into my side of the bed. Then raised his arm so I could curl up next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. He knew what I was going to say. It was the same request every time, but he took a long drag and waited for me, nonetheless.”

“The game would seem simple enough to some people. It was just a quick peak behind the curtain that hid the inner workings of one Hanna. But I knew just as well as any of the other people in his life that my request was anything but simple and then asked, tell me something I don’t know.”

“he replied, “I watched you.”

Take moment try to think of how to explain it Keller I say “Nancy was first to beat me my step father put me in the hospital one summer, he hit me with my brother baseball bat, Hanna was it happen I was 12 at the time. I don’t remember two days leading up to that hit to the head, I was in the coma for three weeks” 

Keller was all professional didn’t even batter eye, guess it was in my file. I tell her. “This too, was part of the game. He never offered up some random story without me having to work for it. I figured that was by design. The effort it took me to drag the information out of him would help me relax, forget my nightmare, and ultimately get back to sleep while there were still enough hours left in the night so I could be rested by morning. I have no doubt that Hanna would prefer to just fuck my nightmare away. But during training when he’s taking it easy with me during sex, he realized that after a nightmare fucking is just too intense for me to handle and when I asked ‘When did you watch me’? I was not expecting the answer he gave”

“Hanna take other sip of his drink he had half glass no ice. answered, “After King of Babylon…when you stole my playmate for night. I was 17 I was in Pits for game of football and he was on leave. We were at gay club and I was just being teen selfish I want him and he didn’t want me so I took his playmate off him. I shocked I shifted in Hanna’s embrace and looked up at him to ask, “Wait, you mean you watched me fuck him?”

“He looked down at me and gave me that _this-conversation-is-so-tedious_ expression he liked to use and replied, ‘Mm-Hm. And it was just as you suspected.’ It was obvious he was playing with me. Still this was a unique opportunity. And if I played my cards right, I might be able to take this conversation in a very interesting direction. ‘What?’ I say and He looked down at I and raised an eyebrow, ‘Well, not only did you copy my dialogue that night, you also copied my moves.’ I laughed and rolled over on top of him. He let me pin his arms down to the mattress as I replied, I’m quite certain that you don’t hold the copyright to ‘I wanna fuck all night’ and if as you say, I copied your moves, it was only because I learned from the master.” I lick my lips and look up at Keller, she was roll her wrist sign me to go on with my story.

“I watched as he curled his lips between his teeth and studied his eyes as I waited for what he’d say next. He blinked slowly, ‘They do say that mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. And it is true. I am the master.’ I shifted my weight forward, while making certain to brush my cock up against his, ‘I know, if you were so curious back then, perhaps you’d like to know, first hand, what I’ve learned from you.’ He coughed out a laughed as I licked the underside of his jaw, ‘John, you must be under the second hand smoke effects of this painkillers if you think I’d take you up on an offer like that.’ My only reply to that was I read on gay-dotcom that everyone is versatile, but only some guys are confident enough with their own masculinity to admit it.”

I smiled say “This comment earned me a change in positions. And after a lightning fast tumble I found myself underneath Hanna. He placed his glass on night stand. I felt his hot breath against my ear as he said, ‘I learned all about the joys of bottoming while you were still toddling around the sandbox, little boy.’ I asked him but don’t you ever wonder…you know, what all I’ve learned from you?”

Take my time to gather my thoughts I say “For some reason, this conversation and the idea of topping Hanna made me start to remember how I used to be…before the hit to head. It’s the first time in ages that I felt that cocky self-assuredness rising up from within me and the one thing I could never forget; was how irresistible bravado I was for Hanna. ‘We both know that you taught me how to give the most spectacular head in all of Pittsburgh. Are you really saying that you never want to know if I passed all your lessons?” 

Take deep breath in I tell that next part with little more feeling “umm, anyways… Despite my ubiquitous presence, I am only one man. I owe it to the queers of greater PA to supply them with at least one other guy who has my skills.’ He tells me and smiled at me with his tongue firmly in his cheek. He used to do that a lot when we were kids but not so much later in life. So all the attention and diligent time you’ve spent with me to _hone my skills,_ was really just your charitable contribution to the gay community? He released his hold on me and brushed his fingers through my hair, ‘I’m nothing, if not generous.’ More like saintly. I laughed in reply”

“when he tells me that he has been known to make a lucky few see the face of God. we’re having fun and I felt safe, warm and care for even as he began planting kisses along the side of me neck. But, he wasn’t taking the bait. So, using a different tactic, I lifted my head up off the pillow and whispered in his ear, ‘I love it when you’re inside me, Hanna. There’s nothing else in the world that remotely compares to it. you’re the best. Are you really sure you never want to know what I’d feel like inside you? The silence in the room almost suffocated me while I waited for his answer. Finally, I was able to breathe again when heard him say, ‘I’d never, say never.’ I did not end up topping him that night but he helped me forget the nightmare and help to get some much needed sleep” I tell Keller it was not all the details but I did not think doc needed to know what Hanna did to me that night.


	17. unexpected help

 

  
It was two days from John Sheppard sixteen birthday which mean Nancy would force marriage on him legally, she just gets her biological father to twist Patrick Sheppard arm a little and that was something Gordor Sheppard was good at. See Nancy mother had a one night stand eighteen years ago and Lucy was strong women who ruled her submissive live with iron fist and she pass that way of think down to her daughter, Nancy was her mother daughter, she ruled over father bossing him around treating him like second class's person, she had no respect for Submissive not even her father.

Patrick could not say no to his husband Gordor, but he had to see that he kept his promise to his late wife that he gives her. So Patrick insure that John be able to join the air force in hope of give him a way out he always when to see Melissa his late wife's sisters Helen and Linda has he felt that he could not count on his older son to help his brother when time comings. Both the Alpha domes were not happy about John pending wedding but vowed to help John safety move on when the time comes.

With all the wheel in place John was forced to marry Nancy, a cold hearted woman who John felt anything for, he felt trapped in a abuse marriage to the heartless witch for pass nine years he had been covering up broken bones, bruises and he try to volunteer to mission after mission put off coming home has long has he could, until the air force forced leave on him even then he would take no more than two weeks after time fearing that Nancy would kill him if he took more leave and was how he found himself in this situation.

John was on his knees next to his wife. He focused his eyes on the floor, trying to breathe evenly and not set off the pain of his cracked rib. Nancy laid a heavy hand on his head. He closed his eyes. “Oh yes, he's definitely pretty, but he's also a very bad boy most of the time, aren't you, pet?” Nancy said to one of John's father's friends. Some influential banker or something. John never could remember because they were all alike in their arrogant tops.

Suddenly she grabbed a fistful his hair and yanked his head back. This pulled the strained muscle in his back and made his cracked rib twinge and he was hard pressed to not pull in a sharp breath. “I said, aren't you, pet?” she repeated with false sweetness. John knew that tone well. It meant another beating for failing to attend to her every word again. “Yes, mistress,” he murmured softly.

“Has my step son been giving you a hard time again sweetheart?” Gordor Sheppard asked her jovially as he stepped up beside the banker.

Nancy released John's hair to shake his hand, saying, “He does keep me busy, Gordor, but it's nothing I can't handle. He just needs a firm hand.” John took the opportunity to lower his head back down and ease the stress on his back and painful ribs.

“And a regular caning, as I recall from his teenage years,” Gordor said wryly. “He's always been a wilful one.” They all chuckled at that, his step father because he thought it amusing and the banker and Nancy because they were fucking ass-kissers. John, with his hidden 1scars, failed to find any amusement in it at all.

Patrick then gestured toward Nancy with his glass of scotch step up to his daughter low when Gordor remind them “Say, his tour of duty is due to end soon, isn't it?”

Nancy's hand landed back on his head again and her fingers gripped his hair tightly. “Why yes, it is. And you'll be happy to know that I plan on chaining him to the bed until he's processed out so he can't re-sign up again. I'm deathly tired of the Air Force telling my sub where to go and what to do. We'll finally be able to move into that house next to yours that you gave us for our wedding in two years’ time.”

“Good! It will be lovely having you join the company and seeing him finally settling down to be a proper house sub. No more of this military nonsense!” Gordor replied cheerfully. “We could even have family dinners once a week at our place with Dave and his sub could we Patrick.” Gordor asked my father

John closed his eyes and forced himself to not shudder, to not give himself away. They were planning on taking his flying away. As long as he had the sky he still had some modicum of freedom, and now they were going to stuff him into a box and drive the nails in. Panic ate at his stomach. He took a quick look athis father. His father smiled it was not really, eyes dart towards my two aunt Helen and Linda. There was something in there eyes something John could not read.

The banker engaged Patrick in a conversation about something that John didn't care in the slightest about and drew his father away. Some old cougar with a sharp smile replaced them, openly leering at John. “What a lovely boy you have,” she purred at Nancy.

Nancy's grip on his hair grew tighter and John blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. As Nancy replied back, he prayed that this particular display of jealous tops wouldn't result in her publicly fucking him like it had last time. It was beyond humiliating when she did that, and it got even worse for him afterwards if he couldn't keep it up for her.

Eventually the woman became bored with testing Nancy's dominance and left to go be lecherous at someone else, but the damage was done. Nancy was tense and seething at the perceived threat, and John suddenly knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was in real danger tonight. His heart fluttered rapidly like a trapped bird as he tried not to pant in fear. Oh, god. Oh, god. He was sure he would be killed tonight.

She wrenched him up by his hair and John struggled to stand up fast enough so that she wouldn't yank it out by the roots, his knees protesting from the extended period of time he'd knelt on the cold marble floor. “You know I don't like it when you're a slut,” she hissed into his ear. “You made slut eyes at her, didn't you? Didn't you? Why can't you just behave?”

As John opened his mouth to protest fruitlessly that he hadn't, really he hadn't, Dave and his sub Lindsey suddenly appeared out of seemingly nowhere. “Nancy! John! We have been looking everywhere for you!” Lindsey said brightly.

Dave smiled in amused tolerance at her and then turned to speak to Nancy. “We have spotted you a couple of times already, to be honest, but got caught in other conversations before we could get to you. You're not leaving already are you? We haven't had a chance to talk!”

Nancy released her grip on John's hair and made as if to pet his shoulder. He flinched as she did so and then cursed himself for having so little control over himself as she dug her fingers into his collarbone. “Well, you know how tense these things make John. I thought I might take him home and get him to relax a little as a reward.”

Lindsey's eyes flickered over to John, her smile never wavering as she laughed lightly. “John, the introvert of the family, stressed out by this enormous company shindig? Why am I not surprised?”

She then turned to Dave and leaned against his arm looking up at him disarmingly. “Dave, beloved, I know that you want to speak to Nancy about something terribly important, darling, but could I take John with me upstairs to the powder room while the two of you speak business? It has been ever so long since I've seen him, and I'd love some time to catch up.”

Dave turned his gaze to Nancy and said with smile, “Would you mind? It has been a while since we've seen the two of you, and my Lindsey never seems to head to the powder room without at least one other sub with her. Usually a whole pack of them if she can get away with it.” He reached over and stroked her face with a finger, his face warm with affection.

Lindsey laughed again and touched his hand gently with one of her own. “You know it's because we have to help each other primp to make ourselves look pretty for our tops, honey.”

Nancy smiled that false, sweet smile and nodded. “Of course I don't mind. You are family, after all.” She squeezed John's shoulder hard and then released it. “Go on, pet. I expect to see you all primped for me when you get back.”

Lindsey took John gently by the arm and said conspiratorially, “Let's go gossip while they talk boring business stuff, shall we?” She drew him away and up the stairs while John tried to keep a lid on his relief at receiving what was likely to be an all too brief reprieve.

They entered the subs' powder room and Lindsey released his arm and locked the door behind them, her face suddenly serious. She then turned to him, gently tilted his head to the side, looking somberly at where he'd applied makeup to cover the last of a fading shiner that Nancy had given him a few days ago.

“John,” new voice said softly, “are you okay?” He jumped turn to see his aunt Helen and Linda both standing inside with Lindsey lean against the lockeddoor.

His eyes slid away from her and he shifted uncomfortably. What could he possibly say? It wasn't like Dave or his father would step in to stop anything. “John...” Linda his mother older sister reached out again, laid her fingertips under his chin, and lifted his head back up so that he had to look at her. “John, how badly injured are you?”

John wet his lips nervously. “Some bruises, some pulled muscles. A cracked rib. It was an accident. Nothing I can't handle.”

Helen sucked in a breath. “Have you seen a doctor?”

John shook his head slightly. Nancy had forbidden him to go to the base hospital. She'd said that it was no fucking business of theirs what she did to discipline him and that she'd decide if he needed medical attention. That he was hers, damn it, to do with as she pleased and she wasn't sharing him with anyone, least of all some nosy base doctor. She wasn't going to tolerate another inquiry as to whether she might be being an unsafe top like she had at the last base.

“How long, John? How long has this been going on?” Linda asked him urgently. Lindsey look sick, I wondered if my brother hither the way Nancy beat me I hope not.

John dropped his head down again. Too long. It had been going on for far too long longer then nine years of marriage and John didn't know how to get out of it. Nancy had the keys to the car, the keys to the house, the credit cards, the ATM card, his driver's license. She didn't allow him any cash at all, so he hadn't even been able to hide any away. He was forced to continue to submit because he didn't have any other options.

Helen reached forward and clasped her hands lightly on his arms. “John, sweetheart, this isn't right. You know it isn't. Do you need help? Do you need to get away from her? Please, if you do need help, tell us!”

Nancy's accusations repeated in his head, his collarbone throbbed from where she'd gripped him cruelly. Desperation finally crumpled the last of his pride. “Yes,” he finally said in a whispered croak. “Yes, I need help.”

Lindsey and my aunts saved his life that night. Helen removed his hated collar. She gave him money, her ATM card and her cell phone. They snuck him out of his father's house and into a waiting cab that she'd called for and sent him to a safe house. She then went back inside and concocted some story that succeeded in keeping Nancy from looking for him for several crucial hours while John got away. In the following days, Lindsey got him in contact with an excellent divorce lawyer, who got John a court ordered injunction against Nancy. She also worked with the banks, trying her best to get him access to his own money. When Dave cottoned on to what she was doing and reluctantly forbid her to help John any further in what his infuriated step father termed “this stupid rebellion”, she'd called aunts Helen and Linda, the formidable Bostonian socialite top Helen Cushing and Linda Wilson, who then proceeded to blandly ignore the sputtering of the family and took over where Lindsey had had to leave off in assisting John. They when with him and a police escort to get his stuff from the house; accompanying him for his own safety when he had to go shopping; and forcing Nancy to leave and then reporting her the two times she sought to violate the injunction. Nothing that Nancy threatened made Helen or Linda so much as turn a hair and they remained, steadfast in they determination to provide him with any help he needed as his divorce request wound its way through court.

After what seemed to be an eternity, he stood in the lawyer's office with the final papers in his sweaty hands and his bags packed for his new overseas assignment. Relief washed over him as he realized that the nightmare was finally over. John looked up from the precious papers granting him his freedom to Helen and Linda and finally had the courage to ask, “Why did you do this for me? You both and Lindsey?'

She adjusted her leather jacket and brushed away a speck of dust from the sleeve before she answered dismissively, as if it were nothing, “It is just what my family does, dear boy. No one should ever be without hope of rescue in their darkest hour.” Helen said

Linda add “all your mother want for you to be happy and loved, been with Nancy didn't give you either of these and the few days before the wedding to Nancy your father came to us told us to be there should you needed help get out of the unwanted marriage that he forced up on you”

John thanked them and hugging them both before he got in to cab that would take him to waiting helicopter and group military person to their next mission.


	18. wet dream

Frank remembers the first wet dream he had bout John. He had few more over the years but he ever can forget his first. The way they ached together, burned together to the feel of shadowed hands playing along John's that were also Frank's ribs, gentle fingertips sliding in the little hollows under each one that are hidden by soft on Frank's body, and hot moist breath on John's that was also Frank's dick.

They twitched together, hips so much slimmer than Frank can ever remember having. He remembers the soft whimpers that echoed in his mind, that might have been his and might not have been, though it didn't really matter. He felt desperation that he hadn't felt for years, mixed with that delicious bite of  _new_  even though it hasn't been new to him in what felt like a long while, a formless  _wanting_  that he hadn't felt since he was teen.

When they both woke up sticky, neither of them was embarrassed--it was nothing to be ashamed of, it was  _them_  and that could never be wrong--Frank just pulled John close, let the soft haze of confusion and satisfaction settle through both of them and helped John strip out of his too-tight and too-sticky shirt and clean himself up.

He felt the hum of  _maybe_  from John, and pressed a kiss to his temple, knowing that it was late, John was tired and stimulated and lost. He didn't think anything of that little  _maybe_ , just tucked John in under his arm, so John could press his nose into Frank's neck like he always manages to do anyway, and falls asleep.

But the hum is still there when Frank wakes up. True, it's buried on the everyday clatter of  _school_  and  _walking_  and  _comic books_ , the buzz of  _What the hell, Mom?_  and the constant undertone of  _hungry, hungry, hungry_ , but he recognizes it. It doesn't concern him. That night though, instead of the usual pattern of  _tired, tired dreams? Sleep hungry bored hungry tired_  there's anxiety.

Frank wrinkles his nose, and when John crawls into bed with him, he pulls him tight, squeezes him close. He doesn't have to say anything, he knows John can feel  _what why what John, John why_. John just ducks his head, pulling himself in closer to Frank's chest.  _Scared why Frank scared strange_.

Frank reaches up to rub his shoulder, kisses the top of his head, soft strands of fairly newly washed hair ticking his nose. He remembers what it was like growing up, he knows John felt it before when he went through it but it's  _different_  when it's your own body and John was too young to really understand it at the time, what the strange feelings and brief flights of fancy meant.

John dreams again, this time he and Frank are being held down, a tongue dragging tortuously across their collarbone, down the smooth cut lines of John's spin also Frank's chest to nip at their hipbones. It's a low broil in the pit of their stomach, and they whine, high and piteous and needy and it sounds too much like Frank's own voice--he wakes up, jerking John along with him, yanking him out of his subconscious and into wakefulness.

John makes a desperate heaving sound, and Frank wraps his arms around him.  _Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry._  John presses closer, his mind a veritable whirl of  _confused_  and  _hurt_  and  _why no_ , shuddering against Frank's chest. He's hard against the curve of Frank's thigh, but Frank just keeps stroking gentle fingers down his spine, knobby through cotton.

John makes a soft sound and hitches his hips closer, pressing himself into Frank compulsively. Frank tries to let a calm haze settle over the two of them, but he's distracted by John's dick digging into his leg, and he just rubs little circles where John's shirt is riding up at the small of his back. John is still racing along,  _No, no Frank please no why Frank, Frank, Frank_ , and Frank cradles him close, thinks _Hush John calm, calm, hush love, love, love_  until John's breathing slows and his thoughts settle back into their usual humming undercurrent.

Frank doesn't let him go, though, just keeps him warm against him, doesn't deny the  _???!!_  that keeps flicking through his mind, because trying to suppress it would be like lying and he and John don't lie to each other. Anyway, he knows from experience--trying not to let John find out what he'd gotten him for his birthday, of all things--that trying to hide your thoughts only makes them all the more obvious. It's like cranking up static to maximum, directly into your brain, and since so far they only share with each other, it's not as though there's any doubt where that static is coming from.

Frank doesn't forget in the morning. He wakes up to find John sitting cross-legged and fully dressed on their bed, staring intently at him, and he immediately flashes back to the night, to the dream,  _Yes good now why John, John_. John nods  _Frank yeah want weird want, want_  then leans in to press a soft kiss to the corner of Frank's mouth before scampering off the bed, thoughts a racing and flushed  _Please, please, please want please_. Gone to school, though not without hearing Frank's answering murmur of  _Oh yes want_.

He spends the entire day on edge, and when John gets home and plops himself down at the kitchen table to do his homework it gets a thousand times worse.

Because while John is occasionally considering the life of John Brown or trigonometry, it's far from the first thing on his mind. There are times that he and John seem closer than ever, when their thoughts are so fervent that it's hard to separate them even in his own mind. It happens during particularly good movies, or when they're laughing so hard they can't breathe, and usually Frank loves the feeling of extra closeness.

But now he can't separate which of them thought  _Want you to suck my cock_  and which of them was imagining Frank shyly spreading his thighs wide, who wants to _lick you all over taste you never forget your sweat on my tongue_  and who thinks of John biting down hard on Frank's neck to muffle his scream when he comes.

 _Take it just take it feel you in the back of my throat for days_  and dark marks from mouths and fingers that would twinge with every movement--a reminder. It's a cacophony of  _yes_  and  _now_  and  _you_ , and even though John is upstairs in the kitchen and he's down in the basement trying to paint, he can feel how badly John wants it. _Yes, oh yes now pleases cared now please_.

John comes down the stairs, eyes alight and as hopeful as his thoughts, flush already bleeding into his cheeks and down his neck. He doesn't have to ask, doesn't have to  _think_  anything, because it seems like Frank has been hard since last night. He certainly is now, hard and aching, just like John and when John dumps himself into Frank's lap, hands scrabbling and greedy, mouth running over jaw and cheeks and chin and nose searching, the lines between them blur.

They aren't thinking really anymore, just that throbbing pulse of  _us_. It's a kiss, lips parted and tongues desperate for that elusive taste, just catching the barest traces and always chasing it, a kiss but it's made of different parts. John is curled up in Frank's lap, hands roaming, through his hair and down his back and over his belly and under the baggy unwashed denim to fit against the heat of his hip, like he doesn't think it will last, doesn't know if Frank will still be here if he isn't touching him.

Frank goes for a different approach, pressing his palm flat against the small of John's back where his shirt has half-ridden up and holding him close. Frank feels John's hand, the buzzing of his skin under John's, and he feels the prickling in John's skin over his own, sensation at its best. John's solid weight directly on top of his erection is near painful--he can feel the slight scratch of denim against his inner thighs and knows John can too, because he feels John thrill to it, feel John's blood racing, getting off on it even though nothing is touching him directly.

They come like that, with desperate whines that intermingle, as they twist together like cats rubbing against each other and entwining their tails, just from a kiss and  _touch_. Frank getting off on John's weight and touch and John getting off on Frank's touch and Frank getting off on John's getting off and John getting off on Frank's getting off. John pants against Frank's neck, hips still working half-needy as he comes down. Frank knows his eyes are closed because he can feel his eyelashes fluttering against the sensitive skin below his ear, and even though John is still except for heaving breaths, he's deafening.  _What god yes good, good no why good Frank, Frank no why help god yes_.

 _Good yes good._  Frank pets a hand over John's sweaty hair, tilting his head to bump his cheek against John's forehead. _John, John, John, John, John, John_  He straightens, reaches down carefully to undo John's jeans. John groans softly, tilts his hips up wantonly even though he's spent, lets Frank slide him out of his lap and then out of his jeans, hissing when the denim comes away from his skin, sticky with sweat and come, leaving him bare to the air that buzzed with their sensation, still seems to be sparking a bit. Frank shucks his own jeans, throwing both pairs off the edge of the bed before climbing back into bed to wrap his arms around John's waist, pull him in so that their thighs slip together and all he can smell is John--John's breath, John's sweat, John's deodorant.  _John, John, John, John, John,_  John mewls, soft, more outwardly vulnerable than he has been for a long while, and his arm twitches before he exhales against Frank's mouth.  _Frank, Frank, Frank_. They fall asleep. Tonight, Frank dreams.

Frank shot up take a look around the room he was in his quarter on Atlantis, he was wet and sweat, it been years he wondered why would he be dream of John now. He wonders if it was because that they knew that they would die in few week, Wraith ships were on their way and been cut off from earth did not help. They were outnumbered and out gunned there was no way to win this war and just like the ancients they too would have to leave Atlantis but unlike the them when we leave we will have to blow the great ancients city up. That fact really upset Frank, he didn’t know if it because of the of the fact that he had ATA gen or the fact that Major John Sheppard is upset about it. Either way it was just matter of time before they had to say goodbye to the city. Taken a look at the time he got up and got ready for work.


	19. Genii Sora raped John

John had been taken by Genii while been off world with Doctor Frank Eva Robinson, He had order the doctor to return to Atlantis tell him the McKay should be able to find him.

It was now night fall and John has limited movement they gave him something some kind of drug, He hole body feel like it made from lead. John gasped as he was dropped onto the bed, the extra weight following after signified Sora getting on as well.

“S-Sora?” He was meant to be their inside guy, the one that gave them intel. He didn’t understand what has got in to the man.

A growl was his answer. A startled yell escaped as his pants were ripped off, his shirt only being ripped open. His hands blindly grabbed at broad shoulders, nails digging deep and scratching as a scream ripped from his throat from the sudden feeling of being ripped apart.

Sora didn’t even pause, he just started to pound into John, teeth clenched together and blue eyes lighting to a navy. Even though his friend was bleeding from the quick entry, he wasn’t going to slow down or stop, he could not even if he wanted too. Heat run through him causing him to want the man that lay under him now.

Unseeing eyes were wide open as tears flowed down reddened cheeks. John was dry heaving now that his throat was hurting from screaming. His body ached and shook, nails still digging into the other shoulders. He could feel the warmth of the blood seeping through his fingers.

A broad tongue started to drag across his neck, chin and face. Feeling a light brush of sharp teeth caused a slight flinch and for John to turn his head away from the warmth being huffed by his ear.

Sora went back to swiping his tongue across the throat bared to him, his teeth itching to bite into the tan column but he withheld the urge at the moment.

His hands were still gripping the slim hips beneath him tightly, bruises already forming from the grip. Blood was also pooled on the bed, being soaked up by the sheets and staining their skin red.

While still thrusting, Sora moved to where he was leaving forward, hands planting beside John’s head as his new position raised the others hips up.

The rough pace continued on for a while before Sora tensed, his eyes actually glowing a fiery black as he buried his teeth into the juncture between neck and shoulder before releasing inside John.

The young man could only moan softly in pain as his insides burned, turning into a gasp as his insides extended from the amount of release.

Removing his teeth slowly from where he bit, Sora licked the area before he put some cream on it to ensure it sealed and healed before backing up enough to remove himself from John. His cum gushed out, having been prevented from leaking out from the position they were in. There was a large amount of blood as well.

He nuzzled the side of John’s face, his broad tongue barely flicking against the skin.

Thin hands cupped his cheeks and turned him to face the other. Broadcasting the scars surrounding lightened eyes. He knew those eyes could see nothing, the last light having disappeared days ago.

His own, darker stared right back. He allowed a light kiss to ghost across his lips before pulling away. His eyes closed as he bowed his head, forehead resting on the chest below.

The emotion in those eyes shouldn’t have been there neither should those soft words been whispered. _“I forgive you.”_ John hear his voice say before he knows anything else. Before he left a pain in the neck other shot of something and when he next weak up he is in Atlantis medical bay with Beckett and his staff.

He had to have lifesaving surgery because he was bleed bad that they did not find the man or men who had attacked him. John tells the Doctor that he does not know what happen to him. Frank said “that because you were give drug that the side-effect is memory lost. You may not remember the attack ever, sorry Major”

he did really look sorry “why you sorry” John asked

Frank said “I should have left you alone?”

John try to sit up using his elbows to support himself he looks at up at Frank who was stand at foot of the bed with tab in his hands. “I am the one who order you go get help, I am home I am safe own. You did the right thing Doc you saved my life” give him small smile, I fell back on to pillow closed my eye falling into a deep sleep.

 


	20. Replicator

"See, this, John, isn't this what it's really all about between us? Truth versus power, John. If you don't want what I have to give you, all you have to do is tell the truth, John." A hand on his belly, light, nonthreatening caress. If not for these steel bonds at wrists and naked ankles. Koracen seated lot us-like between John's naked thighs. Half-lidded eyes not like a Buddha's with analytical with lust.

The faintest hint of a tease on Koracen 's eyelids and his lips. One of John's knees held crooked, open, on the bed, by steel. Koracen 's fingers, greased, that touch down between John's tender, helpless cheeks. "Slot B," he says. And with non-calculating grace Koracen rises to his knees so John can see, and lays the same slicked fingers on his erect cock, and glides them almost to its head, which pulses like a pair of wings. "Tab A."

"No!" Despair in his refutation of this entire nightmare anguish, deep and sick in the wide eyes that John lifts to Koracen 's. "No! Koracen!"

The creaminess in Koracen 's eyes, rough velvet of his voice in his unaccustomed, lushly lust-drugged state be speaking no leniency. "Oh come on, John... If you don't want it... all you have to do is break free, you know, and I know, no one can make you do a damn thing you don't want to." Slight lace of bitter anger edging that, far below the point where most people could have noticed it, but bringing a clutch at reason back to the man panic.

"You're wrong, Koracen. Please. Whatever it is you think, I -- please -- it isn't true!"

Barely-there eyebrows rise, Koracen bending slightly over John. "I'm never wrong, John. That's the thing with you and me. Me with all this intuition, you with all that strength... Ironic, isn't it, that I'm the stud about to service  _you_." The words what that John had heard many time before every night when he was just little boy by his step father, too many BIG-ass members in his memory, too much pure pragmatism, inescapability,  _too much_  -- John's mind darting vainly for escape.  _This can_ ' _t be true_.

Koracen finishes remorselessly, "The only thing holding you back is a lie."

"What if you're wrong, Koracen? Please --" And some other thought is there, some feeling neither of them can identify, some wholly other fear. John whispers it again. "What if you're wrong?"

And Koracen's feather touch again along his naked belly. And Koracen leans down, this time, so close his breath's reflecting off John's skin. "John, have you _ever_ , ever heard of any man as rich as me who was convicted of a rape?" that hit home, but how, how could Koracen know about his step father? No one here on Atlantis knew has far has John knew. John can no longer bear to meet his eyes, he looks away, and his once-innocent eyes close, in perfect misery.

"You'd better make up your mind, John, before I make it up for you. I'm not a man of…, well you know."

Koracen's strong slender hand between them, slicking Koracen's cock, and then, "Okay," Koracen says, half you-had-your-chance resigned, half exultation, and probes the haft-hard intrusion at John's softness, finds the place that gives, and quickly, as if he has been wanting it too long to wait another second, pierces in, forces, and takes John's torn hole with thick, tough thrusts that get him through, as John cries under him, a wail of impossibilities and sundering, betrayal, pain, and helplessness as endless hurtful length slides into him, as heat and hardness meet, and meld, and trust is seared, and Koracen screams out with previously unimaginable open fury, " _Liar_! Liar, liar, liar!" as he rams his lust into him again and again.

Scalding drops burning with broached geyser rage course down his hot-flushed cheeks and drop on John's warm body, that twists and struggles naked under him, John silent now except for sobs of breath, too choked with horror, rage and heartbreak of his own to make another sound. Breath between them now is all there is, breath, pain and bliss. Koracen sunk in hypnotic, shuddering, long pleasuring muscular deep thrusts, feeling around him fluttering of such delicate vast wings of the exotic moth he has pinned under him, John suffering the humiliating, obliterating torture with hard trembling of restraint, until at last he cries out " _Oh God_!  _Please_!" and weeps.

His shaking underneath sends Koracen into an orgiastic frenzy, deep hard cries of "Uh! Uh! Uh!" surge him even harder into John's soft hot suffering, he comes making animal rasping yells and snorts and final howling, merciless in his ultimate plunging penetration and impregnation of John's soft, defenseless, helpless soul.

Waking with a gasp in tangled sheets, heart pounding, face all wet with tears, chest wet with sweat, and belly wet with semen, every muscle trembling and his mind alight still with that fearful, shameless, dream-depth, darkly glowing, utter lust. Koracen have him every night and every morning until one day his people come for him get him out of Koracen’s hands in to the safety of Atlantis, John was thankful but the damage was done to him what Koracen did to him was unforgiving next time he see Koracen and his people he was going to kill them all.


	21. Saving Atlantis

Even when Doctor McKay and the Major discover an ancient Lagrangian Point Satellite at the edge of the Lantean System there was little hope for them to live throw the pending attack. With Three Hive Ships almost at the door step. It was not until Teyla discovered that she had some Wraith DNA in her system and this not only gave her able to sense the Wraith coming but she is able to make connect with them telepathically when she does what she found out was more disturbing the Wraith was after a new rich feeding ground which mean only one thing Erath.

While the Wraith come closer to Atlantis the leading group of the expedition is informed by McKay and Doctor Radek Zelenka that the Wraith will pass the last Lagrangian Point Satellite they are ever confident they can bring it back online and obliterate all three Hive Ships before they even reach Atlantis. With Sheppard, Bates and Teyla off looking for save place for the people McKay volunteers for the mission.

With everyone spared thin Weir is disturbed by Zelenka news about the self-destruct of the city would not destroy enough of the city, when he shows her a simulation which predicts that the Wraith will be able to recover some of the city’s technology and access some of the Atlantis database. She orders Zelenka to delete the ancient’s database so that the wraith cannot recover it after saving it to drive they have with them from earth however the hard-drive they brought from Earth but he tells her that they only can save about 8%.

Sheppard’s team comes back and Bates assumes they were attacked by the wraith and accuses Teyla but Sheppard tells them that they were attacked by some kind of T-rex, however Bates and Teyla come to blows fighting until Sheppard and Lieutenant Aiden Ford intervene. That fight gets even bigger when Bate is attacked left out cold by unknown party.

Sheppard ask Teyla about it but she tells them that it wasn't her. They discuss with Weir who it could be but then Doctor Carson Beckett finds out that there is a Wraith in the city. With a Biometric Sensor Array they are able to find out where the Wraith is and they try to capture him. However, the Wraith is able to take out Sheppard's team until he is stunned by Ford. The Wraith is imprisoned and Sheppard starts to interrogate him, and as he always done John named prisoner Bob but he keeps silent. Teyla decides to start communicate telepathically with him but he over whelms her. Sheppard fires with his gun at him several times, wounding him badly.

Meanwhile the Wraith Hive Ships drop out of hyperspace as predicted, Grodin powers us the satellite. McKay watched from the cloaked jumper as the energy beam from the weapon successfully slices through and destroys one of three hive ships. Amid the celebration Grodin radios that he is having trouble that rerouting has overloaded and the weapon can’t be fired again. McKay order the pilot Miller to rescue him but before they could the satellite is destroyed by the remaining hive ships with Doctor Peter Grodin inside killing him.

Weir informs the base about what has happened and afterwards starts the self-destruct countdown. Having heard the evacuation order, Bob tells them no matter where they go, no matter where they hide, the Wraith will find them, as well as Earth. A frustrated Sheppard finally kills him. McKay has returned to Atlantis as they attempt to dial the Alpha site the Stargate suddenly activated. The wormhole is established from Stargate command earth.

Much to everyone's amazement, a company of Marines come through and Weir and the others are greeted by someone from Sheppard past Colonel Dillon Everett who instantly takes over command. He informs them that they are here to defend Atlantis at all cost, and that they have brought weapons and equipment with which to do so. McKay concludes that Stargate Command found a ZPM and Everett informs him that the Daedalus will arrive in four days with it and they just had to hold down the front until then.

For the first time in almost year weeks a smile was seen on Major Sheppard face. It was rear sight to see the major smile he only smirk ever has anyone of them see the Major smile before expect his Marines, when they have good laugh at one of the doctors for one or other reason it almost always at McKay cost. In the conference room, Everett informs the others about their plan, they are informed that they will use advanced RG/BBT SG military mounted guns originally intended for use on Prometheus, and eight Naquadah-enhanced 1200-megaton Nuclear Warhead as stealth space mines. Along with these, they have brought a Mark II Naquadah Generator, which is capable of a 600% power increase over Atlantis' Mark I reactors, and was designed to power the Control chair. After the meeting, the railguns are deployed and the mines are laid in space by cloaked Puddle Jumpers.

Meanwhile, Everett visits Teyla Emmagan in the training room and orders her to stay out of the way, cementing the distrust surrounding her, however he inform her that he is big believer in use all that is at hand there for she and people should be on standby when the need comes in unwavering voice he said the time will come when we need your and your people help, when dose be ready to fight. For the first time Teyla could not read someone but she knew that they only reason that the Colonel trust her and her people is because Major dose.

Later, Everett meets with Sheppard in the holo-room and Sheppard grimly plays the history of the galaxy. Everett then informs him that he read the report Sheppard submitted surrounding the events in Rising. He explains that Colonel Marshall Summer was a personal friend of his and that understand what had happened and that the two would be setting down talk about it once the City was safe.

Suddenly they are informed that there are approaching Wraith Darts and the battle for the city starts. Marines man the railguns and Sheppard takes the Chair; thanks to the Drone weapons and the railguns the first wave of Darts are destroyed. Sheppard suggests that they remotely control the Puddle Jumpers using the Chair and fly them, cloaked, into the hive ships armed with an explosive; he believes they should ask the Genii to use their nuclear weapons. But he and the colonel are interrupted when suddenly Teyla enters and informs them that there are Wraith in the city, who had invaded during the first wave.

Colonel told her “didn’t I tell you a need will come, are you ready” he asked her and together with a group of Athosians, the military starts to search for them. Meanwhile Weir gates to the Genii world, but is captured by them and held hostage. They want to exchange her for the C-4 they have been cheated out of, however Weir is able to convince them that they will use the C-4 only to test the devices, while they could be sued to destroy the wraith.

The Genii finally agree and supply the Atlantis team with two nuclear devices. The hunt for the Wraith is going badly, as the Wraith have begun damaging and destroying the Naqahdah generators powering the City. To make matters worse, McKay soon discovers that the Genii A bombs are incomplete; he and Zelenka are soon in a lab completing the weapons against their fatigue, much to Beckett's disagreement.

At Atlantis the test-run of Sheppard's plan is a successful, so McKay and Zelenka start to install the completed weapons into the Jumpers. Meanwhile, several men are taken out by the Wraith and the wounded are taken to the Alpha site. A second wave of Darts appears without warning; Sheppard mans the control chair to take control of the Jumpers. After several attempts at initializing the Chair, McKay realizes the reactor has depleted its supply of Naqahdah. Desperate, Sheppard decides to fly the Jumper himself in a hive ship, much to the shock of Weir the last thing he ear her say is that she give her word to colonel Summers that she would keep him alive.

Colonel Everett voice in his ear said “Colonel Summers would have both pissed and proud of his action today”

Sheppard replied “thank you Sir, it been an honour to be his”

As Weir cannot stop him, Sheppard rushes to the Jumper bay and takes it up. Outside, as Ford's team attempt to repel the Darts, a group of Wraith materializes in front of them. Inside, Everett's team is overrun and he is cornered by a Wraith. Out of ammo, the alien begins to feed off him. Sheppard said “sorry we need got around to that talk sir” he takes a breath and adds “if this works some else has to fly the other jumper” The final scene of season one sees Sheppard heading undetected into the Hive's Dart Bay, the nuke armed, while back in the control room, McKay counts down until detonation.

Major Sheppard's brave attempt at a suicide mission succeeds; the Hive suffers fatal damage after the blast from the Genii A-Bomb. Much to the relief of everyone in the city, the Daedalus has finally reached the city, and successfully rescues Sheppard by bringing him aboard. The ship's commander, Colonel Steven Caldwell, then sends two soldiers down to Atlantis to deliver the ZPM to Doctor McKay, McKay is ordered to install the module, but on his way to the ZPM station, the two marines are taken out by a wraith. As he hopelessly defends himself, he is saved by Teyla Emmagan.

Meanwhile the Daedalus joins the battle with the Wraith. The ship struggles at first to destroy the second Hive ship, since the nuclear missiles they fire at the ship are intercepted by Wraith Darts miles before reaching the target. Sheppard suggests targeting the Dart Bay using the Asgard transporters to dump the weapon straight into the ship.

After persuading Hermiod the Asgard engineer on board to override the very safeties in the targeting system that prevents this, they beam a nuke into the ship, which is quickly destroyed. The wraith Cruisers and support vessels jump into hyperspace before the Daedalus can engage them, but the remaining Wraith darts attempt a suicide attack run on the city. The attack is stopped only moments before impact by Atlantis shield, which McKay and Zelenka were able to power up with the ZPM.

With a few hours of calm, the city and surrounding areas are searched for survivors. Ford, who was thrown into the ocean, is recovered by the Daedalus and beamed down to the city. To Doctor Carson Beckett's horror, a Wraith still appears to be feeding off him when they rematerialize, but the alien is dead. Ford is alive and out cold, but the Wraith Enzyme that strengthens hosts during feeding has been seeping into his system.

The destruction of the Hive ships does not fully succeed in fending off the Wraith, as the escaped cruisers have called in backup. 12 more Hive ships are on route to Atlantis. On Atlantis, the command crew struggles between what to do about the Wraith, and how to deal with Ford, who is now addicted to a wraith enzyme which makes him stronger, but also make him paranoid. Although he wants to convince his friends that he is OK he reacts very violently towards Beckett when the Doctor wants him to come back to the infirmary.

Sheppard suggests a pre-emptive strike against the new aggressors, which Caldwell agrees with. The Daedalus jumps to the Wraith's rest position and, using the same tactic as earlier, they successfully take out 2 Hive ships using the beams and nuclear warheads. Surprisingly, the Wraith then develop a counter measure to the beaming technology, somehow blocking the Asgard transporters from materializing objects within the enemy ships. Unable to destroy the remaining Hive ships, the Daedalus disengages and returns to Atlantis suffering moderate but repairable damage in the process. They arrive back with only minutes to spare before the Hive ships enter the system. Caldwell sets the ship down on one of the city's piers, protected by the shield, to effect repairs to the damaged ship.

Once in orbit, the Hive ships begin a full scale orbital bombardment on the Atlantis shield. Such a drain means that their new ZPM will be depleted in a matter of days. With the Asgard transporters countered somehow by the Wraith, it is likely the Daedalus re-engaging would result in another defeat which would leave Atlantis unable to strike back at the Wraith. The command crew comes up with a plan to make them think the city has been destroyed by Self-Destruct; by linking a Cloaking generator from one of the Puddle Jumpers to the city's shield, they can make the entire city disappear. To make it look realistic, they plan to use the Daedalus to transport a nuke just above the shield to make it look like a self-destruct has taken place with the thermal pulse and blast wave blocking their sensors for just enough time, before switching the shield for the cloak, vanishing the city in a massive explosion. To further convince the Wraith that they are honest with their plan, Teyla will contact them through her telepathic link and plant a defiant thought; that the people on Atlantis are going to destroy the city rather than let the Wraith get their hands on it. As a precaution, the Daedalus loads up all non-essential personnel. If the Wraith don't fall for the ruse, they will run the blockade followed by the last of the Atlantis personnel in cloaked Jumpers to the second Planet in the system capable of supporting life. At which point the Jumpers and their self-contained life support will meet and leave the Galaxy.

Meanwhile, Ford has gone insane. He attacks his guard in the infirmary, steals the remaining enzyme and commandeers a Puddle Jumper from Zelenka as the plan to fake a self-destruct is put into action, appearing at first to fool the Wraith. Using the Jumper's DHD, Ford dials an address, ignores Sheppard and escapes through the Stargate. Weir is shocked by Ford's actions, but also relieved that the energy surge from the gate wasn't detected by the Hives before they break orbit, convinced Atlantis was destroyed and the gateway to Earth is no longer available the Wraith leave and Atlantis is saved.


	22. the Talk part one

Colonel Everett was wounded by the wraith that he managed to shoot and kill but not before the life sucking butt ugly suck bite of his life way. The pain was overwhelming yet Colonel was marine he bites back the scream has he fell down on the floor catching his breath. Picking up the gun from the fallen fellow marine he starts a sweep of the city.

The man who was in his late 30 now look like he was in his late 40, when he first come through the Star-Gate he had no gray hair now most of his hair was gray with more wrinkles around his eyes making him older thank to wraith feeding on him.

John stood by the old man bedside in the medical bay they were send him back to earth. The old man was not sleep but his eyes were closed and once again he was without a dom. He would go with Wire, Beckett, McKay and Teyla, he was told that he would have say in who they pick for Command the Atlantis military with him second in command. He knew who ever it would be they had to be strong Dom, someone who can control this civilian scientist too he was tied of been used for they personal pleasure by everyone and worse part is that he doesn’t know who raped him. It just left like at some point he was raped by everyone almost every night someone who come into his quarters and have their way with him.

Everett voice bring him back to reality “you ready to have that talk now Major”

John was not sure if he was ready to have that talk but he knew that he should and he knew he did not really have a choice in the matter. He was under the colonel command and that means he follow the colonel’s orders. If his past dealing with this colonel was any indication he knew that he could count of the colonel and tell him anything.

“when you came through that Gate sir, I through I was seen things, that I lost my mind and then you spoke of saving this city and I knew, my prays were answered. Leave the city was the last thing I wanted to do and I could never live with myself once the city was destroyed. I didn’t plan on living only long enough to see that the city didn’t fall in to wraith hands” John tells him

“John I known you all your life and in that time you been through hell even before you join the air-force. You been through some things now one should have too, but you want son you are stronger that anyone one I ever meet, shit kid you are by far one of the strongest people I know. No matter what the world or worlds though at you, you always come out the side when most men who have killed themselves for less” Colonel said

John said “I meet people on the way that help me and you were one of them sir, you came in to my life when I was at end of my rope, when you talked about the military service at my school that all this years ago I saw not end to darkness my life has fell into. You gave a lost boy hope that day when you asked that I like to do with my life”

Colonel said “I knew that you would become a pilot that you always wanted to be I knew that you would go far in air-force once we end our talk that day”

John said “but I fuck up sir in Afghanistan, I never had any luck in find a dom that I could trust so when Holland come long and filled that roll in for me I just could leave him to die. I had to do something anything so I took Blackhawk and went after them. I lost Blackhawk manage to get Holland back to base only to have him die due to his injuries, I lost him anyways”

Colonel said “so you want in military sub training despite the fact you were found not guilty of his death and you were cleared of all changes son why”

John said “I may have not killed him but I could not save him either, I left guilty, a failer, he was my dom and I failed to save him. What kind of sub that make me?”

Colonel said “I know you been see Keller here on Atlantis, has that help with the un-blame guilt that you feel?”

John said “Keller been great help with that and other thing that been going here at Atlantis over the last year”

Colonel said “I know what been going on John I read the medical reports and mission reports and the Doctor Frank Eva Robinson sixty-five-page report. That man should have been a marine that was more detailed report by non-military personal I have read in my life”

John said “yeah he and few other along with marines have been try to keep me safe here on Atlantis after Summers was killed”

Colonel asked “when you took that shot how many time did he signal you to take it before you finely took it the shot Major”

John eyes showed emotion for the first time in over year. The guilt was killing his own dom played on his mind by it was to safe earth location. “two-time sir, I need to know that shooting him was the only way to keep earth location safe. It was not a shot I wanted to take but he ordered me to do it. I shoot through the queen hand right through my dom heart part of me die with him, and when I was first raped the one this time I can remember I kept tell myself that I disserved it for killing colonel Summers”

Colonel Everett shape voice told him “no one disserved to be raped Major, I know Summers personally we grow up together, he would be pissed at you for think that it okay to be rape. However, I can see how you think you may have disserved it. I want to you listen to me major are you listen?”

John nodded his head “I am ordering you to stop think that you disserved to be raped, because I am telling you now that you don’t disserved that no one do understand Major”

“yes sir” he replied

Colonel Everett add “Major I am going to recommend that you keep command of Atlantis has the city commanding officer, you have made some good friends here and it you they trust, I am also going to recommend that you pick a 2CI a military dom and discipline officer for the military and civilian here on Atlantis”

Take breath colonel said “However, with your black mark on your file they will not go for it so this what you are going to do when you go to earth for debrief. I am going to recommend that a Navy SEAL commander takeover the Atlantis military and that you be his 2CI with other 2CI under you to run the day to day with in the city. That leave you free to go off world and do what you do best which if the report an any indication that mean you find fire fight or some kind of trouble. The Marine will take orders from the commander and he will be in charge, I know he take good care of you and keep you safe plus you already know him and I think you be happy to be collared by him.”

John said “yes sir” now John meditated on it wounder who this man was some he knew someone he trusted for the life of him he could not think of a name he would have to wait to see who this man the colonel was talking about.

Colonel said “I tied we finish this talk later John, keep safe major”

John left the colonel to rest he walk aimless through the city his head was on the man that colonel was talking about someone he would be happy to be collared by. Someone in the military, the Navy, a SEALS, they had all the best toys when it comes to warfare. So he thought it would be good to have someone with connection and the toys on his side for once. Just maybe they could win this fight against the Wraith the war he started the day he killed his doc colonel Summers it be good if they would end it too.

 


	23. night with Sheppard

Sheppard was going back to earth on Daedalus along with Doctor Beckett, Doctor Weir and Doctor McKay to recruit some new blood to replaces the these we lost. Some of us on Atlantis are worried that they will replace the Major not just because some of us are fucking him, there was other reasons like the relation that Atlantis has painfully build with other worlds that only exit because of Sheppard.

I walked in to Sheppard quarters using the invisible tech I took from SGC I found myself standing over the sleeping man. I have given him a dose of Minder Pegasus Galaxy equal to earth’s Scopolamine, it a drug that leave the victim docile and open to suggestions the best thing about it when the victim wake up the next day he or she would not have any memory of what happen.

I stared at the naked beauty laid out before me. He was on his side, curled up ever so slightly. His face was peaceful, no sign of fear or panic like earlier. My Major Sheppard was so terrified when I claimed what was mine just like I had suggested to him when I gave him the drug which I had put in his coffee to hide the biter teste of the drug.

"Stop!" He cried, kicking and punching. Sheppard struggled so much I had to remind him that he had to relax or it would hurt. Even at then, he mumbled "no," like that would save him. Ha, I'm not letting anyone take away Major Sheppard from me. I promise myself that I would take him whenever the chance come my way when he returned from this trip to earth.

I lost him for a while when the Sage was on going for weeks, but all it took was a quick drink together and he was mine once again. Oh, my Sheppard looks absolutely gorgeous with soft leather cuffs around his little, pretty wrists...

I turned my Sheppard onto his back gently. He didn't make any indications of waking up, instead he looked more at peace. My presence must smooth him, I straddled Sheppard's waist, leaning down to nibble on his lower lip gently. I felt him stir, but I simply ran my hand through his messy brown hair, shushing him. "Shh... It's okay, Sheppard... I'm here to protect you... You'll never be lonely again..."

"No... Stop..." Sheppard was mumbling in his sleep, his head rolling from side to side. My grip in his hair tightened and it instantly stopped moving.

"Shh... Sheppard..." I whispered, moving my mouth to his ear. His tense shoulders relaxed slowly, his breathing evened out again and his face returned back to calm. My grip in his hair relaxed and I smiled. My tongue poked out and licked the shell of his ear.

I'm glad I found a way to get Sheppard to stop running away from me. I didn't want to tie him to the bed with shackles, but he like it and he himself asked for it when he pick to be tie up to the bed when asked if he like to be. In the back of my mind I knew it was the drug that answered but the word came from Sheppard’s own lip, he didn't struggle too much when I used the drug. Maybe I should gag him I don’t like to hear him say no to sex.

"No..." He'll whimper.

"Stop...!" He'll screech.

"Knock it off!" He'll scream.

"I don't love you!" He'll try to say, but I would knock the air out of him. My knee would land in his stomach and my mouth would cover his so no one could hear him.

"You don't mean that, Sheppard..." I'll whisper, my knee would move down and press against his crotch to make him submit and it would work.

My pretty, docile Sheppard would moan and groan, his hips thrusting up in the air. His head will tilt back and expose his throat, my mouth would latch onto his naked throat and suck and lick, leaving light marks that would be there for hours...

Oh God... Thinking about it is causing an unmistakable tent in my pants. Well, Sheppard is asleep and he wouldn't struggle too much.  My pretty Sheppard wouldn't even know what I have done when he wakes up tomorrow morning to head to earth. I have my way with all night while he sleeps leave his ass stretched, swollen and red that he would feel it for weeks.


	24. No idea

Colonel Caldwell was reading one of John off world reports it was sicking to think what the military Sun Major John Sheppard had gone through over the year that Atlantis was cut off from earth. He had other incident report in his hand. This one really set off alarm bells, something had to be done to insure Major safety on Atlantis. 

Sheppard sighed in pleasure as he stepped out of the shower, towelling his hair dry. He was sharing a room with McKay tonight and he had been acting pretty weird. Sheppard had ignored it, putting it down to McKay just being McKay. He shivered lightly, walking out of the warm, steamy bathroom and into the freezing room. McKay liked it cold. He finished with the towel and threw it on the counter.

He walked to his bed and started pulling back the covers, glancing over at McKay, who was sitting at the desk, scribbling in his ever-present notebook. The blonde settled down into his bed, called out a goodnight to McKay, got no reply except a grunt, and fell into a dark and dreamless sleep.

A few hours later, he was awakened by a harsh slap on the face. "What the hell?" He mumbled, wincing at the stinging sensation on his cheek.

"Shut up, Sheppard. You talk when I tell you to. Got it?" McKay loomed above him. Sheppard nodded, figuring it was better to let McKay do whatever he wanted for the moment, until he could get away from him.

"Good." McKay grinned down at him, but this grin was nothing like his usual happy smile. This was sinister and dark. Sheppard could see the sadistic gleam in his eyes. This was a McKay that Sheppard had never seen before and it scared him. McKay bent down and licked the side of his face. Sheppard flinched away and McKay glared. "Stay still."

Sheppard nodded again and McKay ducked his head and started to lick and suck at the tender flesh of Sheppard's neck. Sheppard suppressed a few moans, but tried to arch away from the hungry mouth. A hand clamped onto his chin, forcing it to the side to give McKay better access to his throat. Sheppard's mind raced to come up with a way to get out of here and fast. Why is he doing this? What is he on? Sheppard was sure that McKay had to have taken something for him to act this way. There was no way that his friend would act this any other time.

A sharp pain in his neck made him yelp as McKay bit down on the skin, breaking it. Sheppard felt him lap up the blood and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore his body's response. McKay leaned back up, straddling his hips. Sheppard opened his eyes and had a sudden idea. He jerkily twisted his hips to the side, dislodging McKay from his perch. He was met with a muffled curse and a thump. He quickly scrambled out of bed, but McKay was faster.

"Going somewhere?" He asked, grinning that same evil smile. Sheppard pleaded with him.

"Don't do this, McKay. Please." McKay ignored him and shoved him back down on the bed, pulling off his T-shirt as he did. He traced a finger around Sheppard's nipple, causing it to harden. He smirked and worked the other on into the same state. Sheppard was desperate now. He had to get out of here. He raised his hands to push McKay away from him, but McKay just caught his hands and laughed mockingly. "I don't think so."

McKay stripped them both of their clothes and Sheppard tried once more to escape. McKay slapped him again, harder. Sheppard's head rolled to the side, dazed. He felt McKay push a finger inside of him and he groaned at the pain. McKay wrapped his fingers around his semi-hard cock and he whined, blushing, hating himself for his body's response. He felt more fingers curl against his walls and he nearly screamed as they brushed against his sweet spot. McKay smirked again at him. He watched as McKay slicked up his cock, then pushed the head inside of him. He barely had a chance to get use to the feeling before McKay started up a fast and hard pace, designed to punish Sheppard.

Sheppard didn't know when the pain turned to pleasure. All he knew was that he hated himself for enjoying this, if only physically. Mentally, he was screaming at himself. _He's raping you and you're getting turned on by it? You're sick, Moore, sick._ McKay took his erection back in his hands and timed his strokes with his thrusts. Soon, Sheppard was arching up into his hand, cumming hard, no matter how he tried to resist. McKay moaned deep in his chest, then came inside Sheppard, making his insides sting. He pulled out and Sheppard felt something warm and wet trickle down his thighs, which he was pretty sure was more than just semen.

McKay stared down at him before getting up and going into the bathroom. Sheppard lay on the bed, trying to ignore the pain echoing throughout his body. McKay returned a few minutes later with a warm, wet wash cloth and proceeded to clean Sheppard up and he re-dressed him. _Okay, he forces himself on me and now he's being all caring? What the fuck?_ Sheppard was confused.

McKay avoided Sheppard's eyes and Sheppard noticed they were red-rimmed and McKay didn't say a word to him. He took the wash cloth back into the bathroom and, after he didn't come back for a while, Sheppard walked in there, limping slightly. He pushed open the door and peeked in. "McKay?" McKay was sitting on the floor, his back against the cabinet under the sink. He glanced up at Sheppard and Sheppard caught the tears in his eyes.

"Go away." McKay's voice was thick with unshed tears.

Sheppard ignore him and settled down next to him. "What's wrong?"

"I just raped you, Sheppard. You. My best friend. How can you even look at me?" McKay buried his face back into his knees. "Why don't you hate me?" McKay's voice was small and filled with self-hate. Sheppard was taken aback. The thought of hating McKay for this never crossed his mind. That's how close they were. Sure, he had raped him, but Sheppard didn't think that the person that did that to him was McKay.

"What did you take, McKay?" Sheppard's tone was patient.

McKay didn't say anything for a long time. "Some gave me something to relax, but… umm… it was nothing good. I'm sorry."

"McKay, you know better than that. How can I trust you anymore? See, I don't hate you, just the drug. I know it wasn't you back in there, but you have to promise me that you won't touch that shit again. You know you have a lot going for you right now. Don't screw it up." Sheppard petted McKay's hair.

"I promise. Will you forgive me?" McKay looked up.

"Yes, I forgive you, but please, don't do it again." Sheppard pleaded.

"I won't. I promise." McKay looked determined. Sheppard only hoped it lasted.

That was what started the told thing the full scan of Sheppard body showed that he was been used for sex over the past year. The Doctor did full check-up and found that more the one Dom was fucking the military sub and that dame collar that he wearing don’t give him an opinion of say no, in the colonel eyes it was rape. commanding officer was surprised that the Major could function under these condition, It showed how strong the Major was to full fill his duties while living with been raped almost every night for over a year. 


	25. Halling personal hell

Halling kneels, blonde hair dirty and matted. His wrists are bloodied from the rope that ties them to a wooden staked driven deep into the ground. There he awaits his fate and goes over the events that put him there. He was captured by Cowen. How could he have let this happen?

The afore mentioned walks into the room, feet making muffled sounds as the path changes from marble to dirt. He chuckles at the sight of Halling still managing to keep a stoic face. Halling spits at the brunette’s feet. Cowen scowls and whips his hand across the other man's face.

"Now, now, Halling, be a good little prisoner and maybe you'll get a reward. Be a bad prisoner and get nothing but punishment." He growls into the blonde's ear. Halling whimpers where his face stings but otherwise relays no weakness.

"I'll never bow to you!" He snaps, clearly not going to be broken so easily. Cowen raises his eye brows and gently takes one of Halling's braids between two fingers. Halling looks at Cowen, confused at the sudden gentleness when suddenly the brunette yanks on the hair harshly. Halling cries out as the hair is nearly ripped from his scalp.

"So pretty. I wonder what the rest of you would look like. Would you cry out like that again if I whipped you?" Cowen purrs into Halling's ear. The blonde simply stared ahead, pointedly ignoring Cowen's advances. Cowen growls, having taken Halling prisoner for the simple fact that he wanted his attention.

"Someone's going to get punished." He promises and promptly rips Halling's clothes from his body, tearing the fabric where the bonds to the post wouldn't allow them to come off. Halling whimpers softly as the fabric harshly cuts into his skin.

Cowen smirks as he realizes that there is a way to break Halling and make him a submissive slave. His right hand caresses Halling bare, pale rump. He strokes it softly then suddenly brings his hand down on it hard enough to leave a red hand print. Halling yelps and tries to move his body away. Cowen grips his hips and forces him to get on his knees again.

Halling grips the pole in front of him, finally realizing Cowen's intentions. He doesn't want to lose his virginity but Cowen is known for being quite the slut and would fuck anything with legs. He knows he can't get away so he just doesn't bother fighting. Cowen is surprised that the other, usually so strong, would give in this easily.

Of course he's happy that he can now get the blonde's full attention. Two fingers find their way into Halling's rear, making him yelp again and try to pull away from the uncomfortable sensation, only to be foiled once again by Cowen's strong hand on his hip.

"Ah, ah be a good little slave and stay still" Cowen purrs and moves the fingers in and out, scissoring them and stretching Halling's tightness. A third finger is added, making the sensation even more uncomfortable for him. He again tries to pull away only to get repercussions as Cowen slams the fingers into him.

"AH~" Halling shouts, biting down on his lower lip. He is blushing badly and pain fills his eyes. Cowen smirks at the final break of the strong man's mask. He pumps his fingers in and out until Halling cries out and comes, griping the pole in front of him. Cowen blinks in surprise then his smirk widens.

"You came from just my fingers you dirty slut." He pulls his fingers out and slaps Halling's bum again, bruising it and leaving another red mark. The Roman pulls out a whip and brings it down on Halling's pale, arched back leaving a thin wound that drips with blood. He repeats until Halling screams for him to stop.

"Then beg for me like the slut you are. Beg to get your brains fucked out. Beg for me Halling!" He commands, slashing the whip across his shoulders. Halling screams and begs as he was told. The brunette pulls out his member and slams into the blonde, not giving him a chance to adjust before moving quickly.

Halling bites his lip to hold in another scream as his rear is stretched in ways he didn't know we're possible until that day. The constant thump of each of Cowen's thrusts and the slapping of skin are all Halling can here. They over power Cowen's grunts then suddenly pleasure blooms in his lower abdomen and rear.

A loud moan is released from his pale lips making Cowen smirk and pound into him. He continues to moan loudly and comes again, coating the floor in the white liquid. Cowen groans as Halling's already tight and warm ass become tighter and he comes, filling Halling completely.

Halling cries out as the warm liquid drips down his thighs and slumps, ashamed. Cowen pulls his large member out and slaps the other's rear one last time.

"You're a great fuck Halling, maybe I'll make you my personal slave." He says with a small wink. Halling shakes his head, a tear dripping down his cheek.

You finally did it Cowen, he thinks, you finally broke me beyond repair. The whip wounds burn and get bandaged by the other slaves. Halling fulfils his duties without speaking and every time Cowen rapes him he doesn't make a sound, which is quite a disappointment to the Roman. Cowen finally gives up and lets him go but Halling doesn't leave. He just sits still on the doorstep, enjoying the warm summer sunlight, until a Jumper full of Marines from Atlantis come to take him way back home, back to his people where he would be save with his son.

 


	26. Rescue

"Are we cloaked? McKay, are we cloaked?"

Caldwell's voice. Caldwell?

"His heart is still beating very rapidly. I do not know the cause."

That sounded like Teyla.

"Well, I think he's earned the right to be a little freaked."

Rodney.

"I believe - I count thirty beats in ten seconds. That is one hundred eighty per minute."

Teyla again; but one-eighty wasn't a big deal at all if you were running...

Running! They had to run!

John pushed against the apparatus behind him; the bands were gone, but...

He wasn't in the Gech control room. No, he was lying on the floor of a jumper, surrounded by people who couldn't be there. Teyla closest, her hands on his arm, Caldwell and Rodney behind her.

Another illusion, then. But this time he was able to move, to curl around his knees and listen to his heart pound.

"John... John, can you hear me?"

For years, John had been trying to figure out why Rodney never used his first name. It was just - weird - that he hardly ever did. What made today special?

Someone lifted his head, and something soft was placed between his ear and the deck. Yes, that was better. Something else was spread over his body, dimming the chill a little.

"John, what's wrong? Where does it hurt?"

He was being pulled at... NO!

"John, you must stay still." Teyla again. "We must make sure you do not have injuries we cannot see."

"It's a bit late to worry about a back or neck injury, don't you think?" Rodney.

"I was not aware you had taken the time to learn the basics of emergency medical care." Teyla, sounding pissed off.

Was that his fault? John took several deep breaths and tried to cooperate as his body was straightened until he was lying on his back, but his hands kept jerking. Teyla's hands scanned down his arms and legs, torso and neck, then his head. It hurt, of course, but that pain was old.

"I don't like how this feels," she said, and now Rodney was poking at his skull, showing considerably less skill. "And look at the wound on his back."

"Yow!"

"John? Teyla, he's talking!"

"Yes, Rodney, a good sign. Now lift him up."

John let them raise his shoulders, then -

NO, NOT THERE!

The place behind his left shoulder blade, where they'd done something, blazed hot. He screamed and pulled away and forward, then turned so that his back was to the jumper's port bench.

"John, let me see that," Teyla said.

"It's that cut," said Rodney. "John?" Rodney was now very close. "John, I'm sorry. We won't touch you there again. It's okay to relax, like you were before. Okay?"

"It might be a tracker," said Caldwell. "Never got a really good look at my own, so I don't know for sure."

"If it is..." Teyla started.

"Our sensors are working fine," said Rodney. "Nobody's close. John, do you understand? Nobody's near but us. And no matter what, they're not going to get you back."

John nodded, wondering how Rodney read his mind. He'd rather - he'd rather - anything than be recaptured.

"John, please calm down." Teyla just didn't understand...

She seemed to be taking his pulse again. "He is cold, and his heart rate is accelerating," Teyla said, and then he was being lifted and - what, Caldwell was now behind him?

"Caldwell's got you," said Rodney. "I have to be able to get us in the air quickly. You're okay with Caldwell, right?"

God, Caldwell. How often had he wished for Caldwell, in the beginning?

Rodney's voice again: "What did they do to him?"

"We don't need to know," said Caldwell.

Rodney was again no more than six inches from his face, and he'd taken John's hand. Really, a bit excessive, and John wanted to tell him he was okay, but his brain couldn't seem to get the words to his mouth. He could at least squeeze back...

"Why's he shaking so much?" Rodney asked.

John wished he could stop...

"Maybe we should talk to him," said Rodney.

"And maybe not," said Caldwell.

"He likes it when I talk," said Rodney, actually managing to sound wounded. "Major, you've been gone three weeks. We knew that someone named Stonvik had you, but it took a long time for a friend of his, Xurin, to turn up missing. Xurin had contacts all over this part of the galaxy, and it took a lot of legwork - well, actually, I don't know how hard the Travelers looked, but there wasn't a lot of it we could do - until we learned this planet existed. Larrin pinged a contact in one of the local governments this morning, and they reported that the two largest powers on the planet seemed to be using tech and weapons they hadn't been able to operate in recent memory. And so we thought we'd better check it out - and, well, here we are.

"That's the one-minute version. And when you're, uh, feeling better, I'll give you the five-hour version. Um, would you like it now? Please say something, Sheppard!"

"Let him rest, McKay," said Caldwell.

"Does he look like he's resting to you?"

"John, how can we help you?" Rodney kept asking.

John pressed still closer to Caldwell's side. No help, there'd been no help...

"There are stories of planets that have human life, but are disconnected from all other worlds," Teyla was saying; to him? "If the population is not centralized, has some defence, and poses no off planet threat, perhaps these worlds do not receive the same sort of attention from the Wraith as happened on Sateda."

"Yeah, we had the same stories," said Caldwell, his voice as much felt as heard. "We went looking for them, in fact. Found this one world - maybe it was this one. Lost three ships there before we decided it was more than bad luck."

"So not real friendly," said Rodney. "Bastards."

"Perhaps it was why they survive," said Teyla.

It hadn't been his team - it hadn't been Rodney, or Teyla, or Caldwell.

Unless this was an illusion? "Rodney? You aren't dead?"

"Well, obviously not, Sheppard."

"Then who... was it Lorne?"

"Major Lorne and his team are in orbit," said Caldwell. "Waiting for us."

"With our pilot," said Rodney. "Lieutenant Cassell. He did something to his ankle when we were getting you out, and Lorne's jumper was closer."

"You did assure Major Lorne that you were comfortable operating this craft," said Teyla.

They weren't listening! "I shot down a jumper," said John. "Who was on it?"

Silence for a moment. "Well, it wasn't one of ours," said Rodney. "Must have been local."

Was that possible? Or were they lying to him? But Caldwell's grip tightened. "Easy, Sheppard," he rumbled. "You didn't kill anyone, I promise you."

"Right, yes, of course not," said Rodney. "I bet that whatever it is you shot down's what got the attention of the Traveller’s contact. So good job, you saved yourself, hoo-rah and all that. So you can stop being so freaked out, alright?"

"No," said Caldwell. "I don't think that's it."

"Maybe if we laid him back down, he'd sleep at least," said Rodney.

"Can't sleep," John ground out. "Not with that thing in me."

"What thing?" Teyla asked.

Wasn't it obvious? "In my back. You were messing with it, remember?" Usually his team was brighter than this!

"That's what they have in you? Some sort of adrenaline pump?" Rodney asked.

"I'm certain Dr Keller will be able to remove it," said Teyla.

"So... why are we still here?" Not that he didn't appreciate them here, with him... needed it, truth be told.

"McKay's afraid to take off," said Caldwell.

"I am not!" said Rodney. "Just, waiting for the locals to play their hand. We have no idea what defences they have operational. You being out of the circuit probably helps, but we really don't know."

"Then... I'll fly us out," he said.

"Like hell!" said McKay. "You don't even know how you got here."

"Look at you!" Rodney said. "Look at your hands!"

"Don't need my hands to fly..." Though of course he did. "Then get that thing out of me."

"Don't be..." Rodney began, but Caldwell and Teyla said together, "I can do it."

"That's the spirit," John said. "Teyla, you get the job and Rodney can help. Caldwell, you get to hold me down."

He didn't need very much help to untangle from Caldwell's grip and lie prone, his blanket now spread beneath him. Teyla gently, agonizingly, probed near his left shoulder blade. "I do not think it is very sophisticated," she said. "Nothing like a Wraith tracer. It feels like a disc, perhaps three centimetres in diameter, under one centimetre high. I do not think it is anchored in any way; if it is, I will leave it in place."

There was a clatter of plastic and metal. Ah, Teyla rummaging through the secondary medical supplies. "This blade is comfortable, and I believe I will be able to wield it with precision," she said. "If the device is not as compact as it feels, I will leave it in place."

John lay as still as he could as Teyla washed his back. Then... pain! He couldn't help letting out, "Shit! Shit!" and might have rolled away if Caldwell hadn't had him securely.

"Keep dabbing the blood, Rodney, I need to see what I'm doing," Teyla said calmly; John had forgotten there'd be blood.

"Here it comes..." said Teyla, then, "Ah, this, I believe, is all of it. I will wipe it off... Would you like to see it, John?"

She held it not a foot from his face; it looked, more than anything else, like a very thick poker chip.

"I believe it is vibrating," said Teyla, as she (presumably) bandaged his back.

"So, not chemical, maybe," said Rodney. "That's probably good. Sheppard, how do you feel? Can you tell a difference?"

John gingerly sat up and pulled the blanket back around his waist. "Can I get some pants?"

"Sure," said Caldwell, smiling. "Pants - good sign."

John pulled on the sweat pants Teyla handed him, then, after a moment's consideration, a button-down shirt, leaving it undone to keep it loser on his back.

Now, to try standing... in stages, yes. He pulled himself onto the bench, the others looking at him like he was some sort of idiot; then, carefully, to his feet.

Had it been three weeks since he'd stood? That could be enough to explain how shaky he still felt, how weak. But so much better than before.

"So let's do this," he said, moving to the command chair and sinking into the seat... then leaping to his feet again.

"Major?" Rodney at his elbow. "You okay there?"

"It touched me..." Stupid, stupid, of course it did, that's what it always did. "Just... a little too familiar a feeling."

"Oh, right, yes, sorry, um, I can fly, really..." Rodney's face was switching between terrified and what John thought might be an attempt at 'understanding'.

"It's okay," John said, lowering himself into the seat again. "Let's..."

Rodney moved behind him and put his hands on John's shoulders. "You're in a jumper," he said. "You're not - anywhere else, okay?" Then, brightly, "Does this help?"

Time to do this before things got any more embarrassing.

Five minutes later, they were out of the planet's gravity well; ten minutes after that, in hyperspace.

Five minutes after that, John was sound asleep.

The next time John awoke, he immediately knew he was in the infirmary. Which was a huge improvement over being disoriented in the jumper.

How would he break the news about Rodney to Jennifer Keller, though? God, how could he live with himself...

The hum of the city, it was disgusted with him...

"John? Major, what's wrong?" Rodney, sitting across the room, fingers poised over his laptop.

John rubbed at his eyes. "I'm fine."

"So Jennifer says," said Rodney. "I think you've lost your mind, but apparently I don't get a vote. Actually, scratch that, I get the trump vote, and I really, really, really don't want to use it, okay, so don't be crazy. Well, too crazy. For too long."

All in one breath. It never failed to impress John. "As long as your real right now, it's okay," John said. "Um, does the city seem louder than usual?"

"Uhh..." Rodney cocked his head to the side, listening. "Nope, silent as usual. Can't even hear an iPod stereo."

"The city doesn't hum all the time?"

"Yeah, but you're the Extra Special ATA Man. Wouldn't be surprised at all if it was different for you." He paused. "You could ask Jack O'Neill what it's like for him."

When pigs flew. "It's just - I think it's making me a bit edgy. Maybe all that time, hooked up, not much sleep, I don't know..."

"Would you like to go to Earth, maybe? Or the mainland, or something?"

"I don't know." Waking up in a panic was not fun. To wake up and not have his team there... would not be good.

"Caldwell's going to go crazy, not being able to shoot anything to make it all better," McKay said, and John laughed. No, he wasn't going to leave these people.

But a little time away might not be a bad idea.

"Do you think Caldwell and Teyla would be up for a bit of time with the Athosians?" he asked.

 


	27. Sheppard's family

General O'Neill comes to see him on his third day on Earth. John's in the conference room, listening to Rodney rant about the declining quality of the SGC recruiting pool while they peruse stacks of resumes, when O'Neill interrupts and asks to have a word with him. John knows the look on O'Neill's face, knows it can't be anything good, but he nods, and puts on his unconcerned face in response to Rodney's questioning glance as he follows the General out of the room.

"Major Sheppard, John," O'Neill begins, and something in John's gut clenches. O'Neill hands over a slip of paper, his mouth grimacing in sympathy as John reads.

"I'm sorry," he says when John looks back up at him.

"It's okay," John says. "We weren't all that close." Infect he has not talk to his father or brother in years, part of him still have not forgiven them for what happen to him what they let happen.

John's first trip to Earth, he calls his father. He doesn't plan on doing it, doesn't even realize what he's doing until his fingers are dialling and he's listening to the ringing on the other end with a vague sense of trepidation. He remembers telling Elizabeth that there wasn't anyone waiting for him back home, but a few days ago he'd strapped himself to a nuclear bomb and a few hours before he'd watched Ford's cousin grieve over a loss she could never understand. He can't help feeling he'll regret it if he doesn't try. His father answers, his voice stiff and impersonal, and John stumbles through his polite inquiries and stilted conversation until finally he snaps, and begs, "Dad, just meet me for a cup of coffee. Just one." He waits in the diner for three hours, but his father never shows and that was him trying. He did not know why his father ever showed if he was held back by his hateful brother or his husband.

When he make it back to his team he hears "Eighteen months," Rodney grumbles, "it's been eighteen months since the last time I was on Earth, and, oh, let's not forget I spent most of the time away trying to keep one step ahead of  _space vampires_  that were trying to  _eat_  me. You'd think she could be the least bit considerate."

John rolls his eyes. "It's not her fault, McKay. It's not like she planned for her kid to break his leg. And she's coming, isn't she?"

"Yes. The day after tomorrow. Which means I have to push everything on my schedule aside because..."

"Oh shut up, McKay," John says, suddenly really irritated because Rodney can complain and complain all he likes, but the bottom line is that his sister is still showing up. She's still coming to see him, just like she has every time he's been able to come back to Earth, and Rodney doesn't even get how lucky he is. He doesn't have a piece of paper in his pocket, and Rodney looks a little shocked, his mouth hanging partially open, before he recovers and stutters something about all the rescheduling he's going to have to do and how it'd be nice if John remembered that the things Rodney works on are a matter of  _life and death_. John pretends not to notice the little uneasy glances Rodney shoots him the rest of the afternoon.

I looking forward to have coffee with my father when he called and tell me. “I don't think I'll be able to make it, son," his father says and John clenches his hand tight around the receiver, trying to find a way to maintain control because his father never responds well to a lack of it. "Besides, I don't believe I can actually be of any help. John," the voice, the carefully patient voice that John hates, "whatever happens, it's your responsibility. You made a decision, and a man lives by his decisions. He doesn't expect others to fix it."

"Jesus, Dad," he says, "I don't want you to"

"Now if I used my influence, what kind of example"

"Dad," he shouts, frustrated, and the voice on the other end of the receiver goes quiet. John knows he's messed up, let his father hear how desperate he is, but it's not for the reasons he thinks. Afghanistan was one big cluster fuck, but John had made his choices, and even now, waiting for the hearing, he can't say he would do anything differently if the same circumstances presented themselves. He doesn't want his father to fix anything. He just wants him there, just wants to be able to turn around and catch someone's eye as he watches his future disintegrate before his eyes.

But he can't explain that on the phone, and his father's tone indicates that he's disinterested anyway, so John swallows, and says, "I understand, sir. You're right. This is my responsibility." Throughout the hearing, he never turns around. Not even once. He hangs and run into McKay on his way out for the room.

"There you are. I'm starving, and I haven't" Rodney bursts into his hotel room just as he hangs up with the car service. It's not unexpected; there's no such thing as privacy on Atlantis, and John and Rodney have been letting those boundaries blur for too long to expect Rodney to knock now. Still, he starts guiltily when Rodney spots his duffel bag.

"You're going somewhere?" he asks, wrinkling his brow in confusion.

"Yeah," John replies, keeping his voice deliberately casual. "I need to leave town for a couple of days."

"Where? You didn't tell me you were going anywhere."

"It just came up."

Rodney frowns. "Just came up?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"What do you mean when?" John can feel the start of a headache behind his eyes. He'd hoped that he could avoid this; actually what he'd hoped was that he'd be in a car on the way to the airport by now, and could leave a message on Rodney's voicemail en route. Sure Rodney would have been pissed, but he'd get over it eventually, and John wouldn't have to do this now. Not when he feels brittle and worn out, like he's coming back in from a long day in the field.

Rodney shows no sign of backing down. He folds his arms across his chest, and lifts his chin, meeting John's gaze head on. "I mean, when did it come up? Because we spent all of yesterday together. You certainly didn't mention it then. And this morning, we had breakfast, and nada. I mean, I know I'm working on one or two thousand important projects at the moment"

"Rodney"

"but I think I'd remember if you told me you were taking a trip."

"I told you it just came up."

"And it has nothing to do with your little tte, tte with O'Neill yesterday?"

"I told you that was nothing."

"Oh, for..." Rodney throws his hands in the air before snapping his mouth shut. John closes his eyes, knowing that Rodney's not done, knowing that Rodney is just gearing up for round two. But the gentle voice that says, "John," the understanding gaze that John sees when he opens his eyes again, they're too much. They pierce through him in the worst ways, and John has to get out of there.

"I have to go," John says, grabbing for his bag blindly. "I have a plane to catch." He shifts to move out of Rodney's way, but Rodney grabs his arm before he can escape.

"John, you can tell me if something is wrong. I'll...I can..."

"No," he says quickly, not wanting to hear Rodney make any promises, any offers to fix anything, because Rodney can fix a lot of things. He can fix broken down technology, and a broken down city, but he can't fix this. He can't fix John, and it's not his responsibility to, and John's not a man who lets other people take responsibility for his messes. So he says, "nothing's wrong," and then when Rodney still won't let go, he goes for the quick kill, even if he hates himself for the cruelty.

"Nothing's wrong, McKay. Maybe I just remembered we're actually on  _Earth_  now. Maybe I remembered that I have options that don't involve stroking your ego for a month." And it works. Rodney's eyes go wide and hurt, and his grip on John slips just enough that John can back away, walk out the door and pretend he doesn't feel the weight of Rodney's disappointment pressing against his chest with every movement.

“look I got few things to take care of before we head back to Atlantis, and one more thing McKay when we get back, things are going to be different no more just talking in to my quarters, I see you when I get back in few days” I get my go bag and walk out.  

When the plane landed I slowly make my way out of the terminal to find my Aunt Helen wait for me. She waved at me and I could not help but smile. She is age little over the past year little more gray hair in blood locks not that you could tell unless you were a look forward it.

Her hugs are just having I remember, big warm and long “Oh John, it good to have you home fore few days, your cousin has been waiting for you impatiently. She been plans for the two of you, that girl should have been born a boy, she is 22-year-old and in past 15 years I only she her wear a dress once. I still don’t know how I end up with tom boy for daughter but you know John I would not change a thing about her, not that I tell that of cause” Helen laughed has she had the driver put John bag in the boot of the car the two of them slip into the back sit.

She takes my hand in her and asked me “So tell me about the people that you work with John?”

Aunt Helen has fill in the mother roll in my life after my mother died when I was kid but then she backed off after I got married until that night when she helped me to get out of that hellish married to Nancy.

I think about it and then I tell her “Doctor Elizabeth Weir a civilian leader of the civilian/military research base Weir was engaged to be married to a man named Simon Wells but their engagement ended when Wells refused to join the her on the mission, she easy relaxed, the civilian like it that way, my Marines on other they like to poke fire under the scientist it makes living on base exciting but when we are under attack everyone work well together to keep one other safe and alive”

“Rodney McKay or Meredith Rodney is the Chief Science Officer of the base and Doctor McKay is one of the most arrogant and condescending personalities. He once identified himself as a Mensa member and believes himself to be the smartest person in the base. Despite his irritating demeanour, many members of the Atlantis expedition are on friendly terms with him, and McKay is able to keep steady relationships and is close to the people he works with, having referred to us as his surrogate family. But sometime we just need a little break from him to recharge”

Helen smiled “I know what you mean John, sometime I just need to get out of the house before I end up killing my family, I love them but I need a little me time to recharge now and again”

He nodded his head and comminute “Teyla Emmagan is the leader of a local group of village close to where our base is, they are farmers, hunters, and traders after the attack on village, Teyla and her people settle in our base. Teyla is great warrior she joined my team she helps us get in contacted with the local who are willing to help us in the area. Teyla is also adapt at hand-to-hand combat”

Helen could see just how close this woman got to John and just how much Teyla means to John but he was not done. “Carson Beckett is the original Chief Medical Officer is a doctor with an extended knowledge of medicine. Beckett has the biggest heart try again and again to save everybody. He our maceral worker bring back men and women from the bricks of death”

“Aiden Ford a Marine Lieutenant. Ford is twenty-five years old and the only family that Ford mentions are his grandparents. Ford served as my second-in-command after Colonel was killed in attack. An exploding in one of lab took Ford from us, he was one of few that I could count on to follow orders, I am going miss him his body was not recovered in my book and Doctor Weir reported him MIA not KIA. If he our there we find him and bring him home”

“Sergeant Bates, a career military man who serves as the head of security on the bass. He was injured during an attack and due to his injuries Doctor Carson Beckett places Bates in a medically induced Coma. Bates returned to State side and honourably discharged from the military after he recovery he would began working for IOA field operations here at home, I am going miss him he ran the base security it going too hard to find a replacement”

He takes breath say “there the one who I interact with the most for the past year. I meet some great local who are every helpful but there many hostels out there too, but we get by so far”

Aunt Helen understood what I was saying her late husband was in the air force just like John grandfather, aunt Helen’s father and that where he got the love for flying all these stories from his grandfather and uncle about their time in the air force.

John didn’t notice that the car has turn in to the privet road that lead to the house, it was an old estate that been her husband family for fifty generations. When he got out of the car he was hugged in bear hug from behind by his cousin Anna. She was just a baby want John joined the Air Force but it did make a different that she was ten years younger than him, she always had question for him about his men or the place he been at. HE knew that Anna worked for IOA in homeland division.

Anna whisper in his ear “I am glad you Okay John, I was worried” it was so soft that John almost missed it.

The two day with his Aunt Helen and his cousin was good. They laughed, and want surfing at the beach. On his last night he told them about what the news he got when he was going leave, He would be promoted to Lieutenant Colonel which mean he would be collared by a military Dome before he and other go back.

Helen said “congratulation John”

John asked them both to be there at the commemoration and the collaring. Helen asked if he told his father? John told them he tries meet up with him for coffee so I could tell him but he told him that he could not make it. I don’t want him or Dave there not after all that happen with Nancy and Gordor.

Helen and Anna told him that they would be honoured to be there and they told him that his Mother and grandfather would have been poured of him. Later that night he overheard Anna telling her mother that she should tell uncle Patrick after the fact and show him the photos of what he missed out in his son life. Helen smiled replied “don’t you worry your petty little head about that I know just how to play the guilt card with your uncle and Cousin Dave too”

 


	28. driving long the countryside

With his father calling to tell him that he could not make it, John found himself on the road just him and his bike. He been driving for hours John finally found a small roadside gas station and pulled over. The bike's tank was beginning to run low, and he didn't feel like getting stranded out in the middle of nowhere without gas.

He had been surprised to discover that the roads stayed in fairly good condition through much of the winter in Colorado, and he had been pleased that he could escape from the weekend with just his bike and his thoughts. He was going to spend the actual Christmas day with his Sponsor Family – there had been no getting around that, and he really didn't mind. After all, they actually wanted him to attend, which was a huge step up from his plans with his no show father.

But for the week before on base going over files looking for new recruits, he need this drive where he was his own person. He had driven along the back roads of Colorado until they became the back roads of Wyoming, and had revelled in getting himself completely and thoroughly lost. In a day or two, he would find a map and figure out where he was, but for now, he was completely free.

It wasn't the Air Force that he was trying to escape from – that was a world he had entered excitedly and gladly, and it was everything that he had hoped for. He was not only a pilot living his dream but he was in charge of Atlantis and it military with his new Dome who could collar him. Times like when his squadron leader insisted that he write home, and when he read the terse reply that simply stated that there was no home for him to return to.

John angrily shoved those thoughts out of his mind and determinedly finished filling his fuel tank. He had taken this drive and gotten himself well and lost to escape from thoughts like that, not to wallow in them. He just had to concentrate on his goals, and doing everything he could to achieve them.

Done, he replaced his helmet and kick-started his motorcycle. As he went roaring down the narrow highway, John smiled grimly beneath his visor. It felt like he was flying on the bike sure it was the same as plane but he did get to take in the countryside and he wouldn't let his anger towards his father win over him any longer. 

That was the last time he even tries to get in contact with so called family when he went back to Atlantis this time he would cut all ties give up trying to get in contact with Patrick Sheppard he had new family one that he could count on to show his back one that he would lay his life down for his Atlantis family wait for him to return.

After three days in driving across the countryside he returns to SGC been with his aunt Helen and his cousin Anna was great and the promotion ceremony was happy day he did over hear a call between his father and his aunt she really lay in to him about not been there at his son ceremony and she told him that he if he did not get his head out of his ass he would loss John for good if he already have after he last phone call after all this years what happened next was not all that surprising to John there were few words said with his mother name through into for good measure long with his new rank before hanging up on him. 

The collaring ceremony was in few days he would be collared by a Navy Seal a Commander who will take over the Atlantis military only after last mission on earth his done will he join John on Atlantis and they would have a Major Even Lorne who will be John 2CI and Atlantis discipline officer too. He would be in charge of keep the domes in line both civilian and military domes at Atlantis. 


	29. rape

I been washing John he been back from his trip for little over five hours he took like he was refreshed ready for his collaring in few days this would be the best time to take him just have to give him a shot and watch and wait for the drug to take effect.

I take the moment I was give, walking by a group of Scientist in the hall way there was no way of get by without pumping in to them. I make it look like I was push in to him has he almost fell on the doctors, “sorry Colonel” he waves it off like it was nothing and keep walking towards the mess hall most like for food or what pass is food here at SCG.

It was easy to watch him I set on the table in the corner that give me a full view of the mess hall. I watch the newly promoted Lieutenant colonel. He stuffed his face with food, he did not even notice that I had followed him in. I watch every carefully I could see the small sighs that the drug was starting to take effect but the poor colonel would not have a cue has the symptoms due to the fact that it was the same has been overly tied like the colonel was now.

He gets up and he brag the table to steady himself has he was trembling a little, he blinks try to force his tied eyes that were most likely little blared by now. He stubble out of the mess hall and I follow him keep my distance while keep him in view. he was struggling to make that last few meter to his room. He leans against the wall before forcing himself to keep going.

He stumbles into his room manage only to shed his thigh holster and his boots before face planting onto his bed. I watch from his open door way look up and down the hallway makes sure there was no one around he walked and closed and locked Colonel room door. Take off my uniform I lay on top of him.

My hands on him lightly rubbing his arms up and down before slowly move to his neck. John mumbles and shoves his face deeper into the bed cover, passing out again. I blow a cool breath on the back of his neck which prompts another sound of protest from him. My hands are running down his spin before I take off his clothes off. The drug keeps in between conscious and unconscious this time I got the dose just right. My palms stroke over him and John is almost asleep.  
  
My hand push his thighs wide with my knee and lay my body over his pining him down to the bed under him. My cock thrusting against his ass makes him try to wriggle free. He can't summon any coordination though and just rubs his own dick against the bedding under him, the friction his body all contribute to the way we both steadily hardening, though orgasm is still far away.

"It's just a dream," I murmur in a hoarse voice. My hands are caressing him, gently pulling the cheeks of his ass wider, and the sensation was turn on. He's squirming unconsciously, I could feel the wetness spreading from John to the bedding.

"That's it, that's it," I croon, and my hands are guiding John's disobedient body, I spreading his knees wide, drawing him up by his hips, forcing his weight on his elbows and chest push him in to slavery position as if he was mine to play with this way. John flexes his fingers into the sheets. He twists his face to the side so he can breathe and tries to peel his eyelids open. My hands slide around and cup him. he rocks eagerly into my warm, expert, teasing touch.

"Aaahhh." He makes his first many beautiful sounds for the night.

"So beautiful like this, helpless, perfect... and just, not quite, with me. Looks like I got the dosage right this time." I tell him has I bring him close. John's hovering, so close to cumming, but I draw back and I want this to take a while not just have him cum. my body moves to the guidance of the other; his limbs are too heavy to shift for John on his own.

I sue his per-cum to slick my fingers and opening his buttocks, kisses at his shoulder blades, pinches to his nipples, my hairy legs scraping between John’s leg and balls.  
I slowly move my thick fingers jolts in to his perfect hole, careful, loosening John against his will, working his open even as he tries to tighten himself against my fighters. His body moves with my movement of my fighter working his ass.

"You're a picture, Colonel, such a lovely picture, all spread open and gleaming wet for me. We're not even done and I can't wait to do this again." I tell him  
  
I work two of my fighters in his ass losing him up and his balls are drawing up. He whimpers as my hands abandon him.  
  
"Shhh, shhh," I was soothed John. I placed a heavy hand between his shoulder blades pushes John back down as he tries to lift himself up on his elbows. "No, no, this is all just a dream and I'm just making sure there's no evidence left." I smooth him back to the bed.  
  
The crinkle of a condom wrapper when I tear it open. A groan is wrenched from deep inside as I penetrated him, I hit the same hotspot inside my fingers did before. No matter how john fight against me he can't buck this me off his body and his movements only excite the me.  
  
the colonel grunts with my every thrust inside, something I give him more pleasure just enough to keep John half hard, while John slips in and out of consciousness. Then I speed up my rhythm, and I fucking him fast and hard hit his hot spot again and again the with a deep groans John cum the tie of his butt muscles I feel up the condom inside him and I am every satisfied.  
  
My withdrawal would be a discomfort that mixes with the thwarted arousal John would be feeling. One of my hands massages John's ass cheek and before I shot him with second dose and I watched John falling into darkness, he was out cold I take my time clean up after myself and leave John sleeping. It will be while before I can have him again like this has I been resigned to the Daedalus, but he could wait.


	30. Collared

Today was the day. Hanna sat at the bar drinking a cup of coffee and waiting for Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard to wake up. It was great watching the way John processed things and then just dove right in to make sure everything was going like clock-work. A smile curled his lips as he recalled the many times his boy had been on the phone with Teyla, McKay, or Emmett about some detail that needed attention or tending to. What Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard wanted to do for the ceremony made no real difference to him, he just wanted to put the collar around his boy’s neck. As long as that feat was accomplished, he’d go along with all the other plans…after all, he loved seeing a smile on John’s face.

John walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup, pouring himself some coffee. "Why didn’t you wake me?"

Hanna smirked as he took a sip of his coffee before replying, "I figured you deserved a lazy morning after all the work you’ve been doing the last few days."

"Well you didn’t seriously think I was gonna let those two queens have free reign over everything did you? Can you imagine what would have become of us with Emmett and McKay teaming up to do the party? They would have put me in some pink chiffon outfit with glitter and bows!"

Hanna almost spit out the last sip of his coffee and valiantly tried to keep from choking while he laughed at the image John had painted in his head. He could just see Emmett and McKay actually trying a trick like that and laughed harder.

John chuckled because Hanna’s laughter was contagious. "Hey, don’t think you’d have come away scot-free either, pal. With your brown hair and cute, your looks, not say thing about the hell you put them through during training know them, they’d have had you in some little Mary Sunshine top with matching balloon pants as payback."

Hanna couldn’t stop himself from laughing louder. The image in his head shifted and changed and he could actually see himself dressed in such a manner, waiting on John decked out in pink chiffon, glitter, and bows. It was too much!

John finally lost his control and laughed out loud, leaning against Hanna’s shoulder. When he was able to make a coherent statement, he said, "At least Teyla helped. All I can say is thank goodness one of our friends has some fashion sense. I want his Armani suit. Did you see it? How did that little fucker gets his hands on the new line when it hasn’t been marketed yet?"

Hanna grinned at John. "Maybe it has something to do with his family’s connections."

John’s eyes grew wide. "He has connections with Armani and you didn’t tell me?! See, I knew there was a reason I liked him."

Hanna shook his head and grinned. "So, what have you got planned for today?"

John wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. "Emmett, McKay, Teyla, and I are all going shopping. What are you and Sam doing?"

John’s gave a little shake of his head, being reminded that Jake had declined to spend the morning with him. Not only that, Jake had declined to speak on Hanna’s behalf at the ceremony, and that still hurt. "I’m not sure."

Seeing the quick look of pain pass over John’s face, Hanna immediately knew he was thinking of Jake’s rejection. Hanna put his arms around him and hugged him tightly. "McKay said that there was something Jake had to do today that was really important. Maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt until we know what’s going on."

John nodded his head and took a deep breath. "I know. You’re right. Nothing is going to spoil this day. Nothing."

John sat in the little office at the back of sunroom where Steve like to paint at O’Neill place and waited for McKay and Teyla to come tell him it was time. He smiled as the fingers of his right hand automatically went to his left arm where Steve mark is located. He couldn’t believe how much his life had changed in less than a year. A part of his mind was telling him he should be apprehensive, but he’d never felt so at ease with himself in his life. Out of all the decisions he’d made, this was definitely one of the best.

John looked up as the door opened and Teyla slipped inside. He’d already changed and looked amazing in the crème-coloured cotton drawstring pants with matching vest. Both he and McKay had decided to dress similarly to John, only adding a vest where John would remain shirtless, wearing only a pair of white cotton drawstring pants. After all, according to McKay, they should all look the part.

"How are you holding up?"

John grinned. "I’m fine, just anxious to get this show on the road."

"Well everything is set up. They sent me to get you, and McKay will meet us outside."

John stood up, took a deep breath, and said, "Let’s get a move-on then." He reached down and picked up the rose, twirling it slowly as he preceded Teyla out of the small office.

As soon as they exited the office, McKay took his place at Teyla’s side, a step or two behind John, as they walked into the main showroom of the live room which was been clean out of chairs. It looks unlived for the moment. It was beautifully and tastefully decorated. John had done an amazing job of getting them to agree to what he wanted. He’d had Hanna’s painting of the thorn-encased rose blown up and hung on the wall, overlooking the area where the collaring would take place. Candles and bouquets of roses were strategically placed throughout the room. McKay knew that they’d done a good job (in) following John’s instructions when, after seeing it for the first time, John had said, "It doesn’t look too prissy."

John walked over to the spot where he was supposed to wait, and let his gaze meet Hanna’s for the first time since leaving the apartment earlier. John smiled, nodded, and was rewarded with a huge smile from his Sir.

Father Dale Wexler from the base church, whom they’d all agreed would be the one to officiate over the ceremony, stood facing away from the painting, wearing a designer leather outfit that fit the man like grove which made John’s mouth water. Hanna stood in front of Dale, wearing black dress pants and a white button-down silk shirt. Sam stood beside Hanna, wearing black dress pants and a crème-colored silk shirt. It really was a shame that Jake couldn’t make it, John thought; he knew how much that would have meant to Hanna.

Dale cleared his throat and began. "Friends and family, we are here to witness and honor the Collaring of Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard to Commander Steve Hanna. For those of you present who don’t live in the lifestyle: This event is a momentous occasion in the lives of these two men. It signifies their desire to care for one another on an emotional level that far outweighs what most people understand. I’ve been asked to read a poem called Leather Bound by France."

John glared at Teyla and whispered harshly under his breath, "What the hell is this?"

Teyla nudged John’s shoulder and whispered back, "Shhh and pay attention."

Dale began to read and John listened to every word.

"Your eyes, I know your mind

I know what you need, I give it lovingly

I know your desires, what you feel for me

I tremble in awe, knowing that you’re mine

I know your pleasure

I savour your beauty

The world might not understand

Our knowledge is our own

Let me hold you close, away from negativity

I am your thorn, and you, my rose

My pride lies within you

I am bound, awaiting you

Craving the sense of feeling

Feeling is all I know as your voice keeps me conscious

This is beyond physical

My senses don’t make sense at all

Bewildered by the power of your hand

I surrender myself to you

Hold me down

And make my world fade away

You are mine, I am yours

We are Leather Bound

We are complete."

John took a deep breath as the emotions the poem invoked in him threatened to take control. He felt Teyla’s hand on his shoulder and heard his friend whispering, "Take it easy John."

Dale asked, "Who is here to speak for Hanna?"

Sam stepped forward, cleared his throat, and started his speech. "I’ve known Steve Hanna for a little over 15 years. He’s always proven himself to be honest and trustworthy, not only in mission, but in his dealings with people as well. I’ve watched him grow from a boy into a very caring Dominant. I have no doubt that he’s emotionally and mentally ready to take on the commitment of a sub."

Dale nodded and asked, "Who is here to speak for John?"

At that moment, a loud crash was heard and Jake walked in, still buttoning up his crème-colored silk shirt. "I am."

John sucked in a breath, wondering what was going on, as McKay walked over to stand with Jake. It didn’t escape his notice that McKay, he hands Jack something and the man started talking. "While I’ve known Hanna a lot longer than I’ve known John, I felt that I should be the one to speak on John’s behalf."

Jake looked over at John and smiled. "And I admit at first, I wasn't exactly happy to learn that Hanna was taking John on as a sub. I just didn't think Hanna was good enough. I realize that a lot people think that I have feelings for John, and I do, but not the kind of feelings one lover has for another. It's more of a paternal feeling than anything else. Regardless of my initial feelings, I've watched and noted the many changes in John since he's been with Hanna, and every one of the them has been one of development and growth."

Jake walked over to where Hanna was standing. "I apologize for any problems I've caused you. I know you are more than capable of taking care of John...much better than I ever could. However, I must warn you. This sort of makes me your father-in-law."

Jake winked at John and offered his hand to Hanna. "Welcome to the family, son."

Hanna met Jake’s gaze and took the proffered hand, giving it a firm shake. He grinned, leaned forward and whispered, "Thanks a lot, Dad. You, old coot." They heard John whisper.

Jake threw his head back and roared with laughter for a moment before calming down long enough to grumble, "Ah my young pup, you will pay for that comment."

Smiling John’s couldn’t get any wider as Hanna watched Jake and John walking towards him. John feared that they would never be able to see eye-to-eye, and that had bothered him more than he’d let on. He was just happy to see that the two most important men in his life had made peace and seemed to actually be getting along.

John followed Jake, keeping his head bowed. When he heard Jake say, "I wish you both many years of happiness," he immediately knelt in front of Hanna, crossing his wrists behind his back carefully so as not to harm the rose. His back was straight, his head was bent, and his knees were spread.

Dale asked, "John do you have anything you wish to say?"

John lifted his head slowly and looked up into Hanna’s eyes. He carefully brought the rose around and cradled it in his palm for a moment. "You once told me how the rose depended on the thorns for protection." He slowly began to strip the thorns from the rose’s stem. "How most people saw the thorns as being something bad, when in reality they were only doing their job of protecting the rose." He finished pulling the last of the thorns from the stem, held it laid across both palms, and lifted his hands up in an offering. "So, I'm giving you this rose completely devoid of any thorns of its own, to represent the fact that I'm willing to offer myself to you, seeking your care and protection."

Hanna took the rose from John’s hands and began to wind a strand of thorns around the flower very slowly. "I’m encasing the rose in thorns to show my acceptance of your offer." Then, he placed the rose into a clear crystal dish, closing the lid before picking up the collar, showing it to everyone, and looking down into John’s eyes, smiling brightly. "I promise to dedicate my life to keeping you safe from all harm. I'll make sure your happiness is always my most important goal. I offer you this collar as my solemn vow to never forget what matters most to me: You. Will you accept it and wear it with honor and pride?"

John swallowed hard, looked into blue eyes filled with hope, took a deep breath, and answered, "I will, Sir."

Hanna slowly wrapped the exquisite collar he’d had designed around John’s neck, letting his fingers slide over the intricate and slightly cool metal surface for a moment before using the key to fasten both halves of the collar together.

John felt the cool metal touch his overheated skin and shivered, not so much from the cold, but from the emotions that were coursing through his body. He licked his lips and tried to calm his racing heart. It was official. He was wearing his Sir’s collar. His heart seemed to swell and he had to look into Hanna’s eyes to make sure this was real and not some fantasy.

After securing the collar, Hanna handed the key to John and held out his left wrist, wrapping the matching bracelet around it so John could lock it into place. "I offer you another gift. I ask that you lock this bracelet on my wrist, so that I will have a visible symbol of our union."

"Thank you, Sir." With slightly shaking fingers, John locked the bracelet, stood and slipped the platinum chain that held the key over Hanna's head, watching at it settled into place.

John reached out and, putting a hand over the key, felt his Sir’s heartbeat beneath his palm. This was what he’d been waiting to feel for his entire life. This man gave him the one thing that had always eluded him. He’d finally found a home, his safe harbour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks you to all the readers that help me long the way you all know who you are. this is where I end this stroy one year of the hell John Sheppard when through on Atlantis with out a Dom was bad, but even he got his happly ever after with the man he really loved but not everyone is that lucky in real life, most of the raped victim take they own life and they are unable to live with what was done to them.
> 
> this story is has a happy end because I wish my friend had happy ending but he was not that lucky, My friend took his own life after he was laughed at and told he asked for it. no one should ever have to go through that and been told they asked it. I couldn't help him so I did this story to help me work through my feelings.
> 
> thanks you


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